i've neglected to notice—
may as well say 'ignored'

only ivory nails
scratching emery, bored

but then every-so-often
it catches my ear

and it says the one thing
but with two things to hear

in my room it's dark and her
terror is always there.
she spoke words of i love you
but she really did not care.

she believed in anger and the
painful acts of deceit.
she believed in domestic terror
as a way for her to compete.

her face was a thing of beauty
her heart was made of stone.
even seeing herself in a mirror
she wouldn't admit to wrong.

she took away everything when
she'd taken my child away.
she did it out of malice because
she lives her life that way.

my pain has been kept a secret
for so many silent years.
whenever i see her face i relive
all of my fears.

no one knows the pain that comes
along with all the shame.
living with a female monster
one without a name.

It was the last ache,
It was the last cry,
the last teardrop,
the last love.
It was the last pain that I will feel.
the feeling's gone.
Or so I thought.

Without you here,

I've been able to name stars after myself

And ***** my fingers on roses that I've planted in my own garden

I've read and written poetry because I have identified myself with confidence and happiness

And the throbbing constant ache is at a dull hum

I'm foliated sketches and the dog-earing of my favorite pages.

I am the prayer I say at night before bed and the gratitude I feel in the morning

And without you here,

I am still all of those and so much more

Without you here

I am so much more

I love the way you move
I love the way you walk
There is a certain grace about you
In the air that surrounds you
Even in how you talk

Your smile lights up a room
Your touch makes my heart
Burn with desire

Just being in your presence
Is time well spent
Feeling that my heart is safe
In your hands
Is priceless

You are the source
Of so much inspiration
It's difficult to explain
You make me want to better myself
Because you deserve the best man
That I can be

You "get" me
And I "get" you
I've never felt more
Understood or appreciated
For just being myself

You make me feel thankful
And I don't take that for granted

I love the way you move

perhaps it is the weather
a prolonged absence of the sun
or presence of the winter cold
or just a temporary fashion

the media as well as many webbéd sites
simply abound with dreary blather
     of lovers lost and death so cold
     the lonesomeness of every single soul
     and how s/he suffers when s/he writes
spelled out at length with no discretion

we know that people suffer from depression
or unquenchable anger at the world
and how through proper treatments
you can considerably relieve the pain

fix them in words is one of them
    but may not be enough
sometimes a mix of pills and pen
may do the trick and help you
    write yourself through your misty prison walls
    discover unlocked doors hidden in plain sight
    step out into the sunshine
        from the darkest night

you are the sun
    whose radiance illuminates the world
    lends brilliance to your life
    sheds light on everything you’ve done

and soon you’ll notice
even the weather is getting bether …

"In order to be normal, break your walls,
Let people in, let them help."

*Alternatively, earn my trust, I'll show
You where the door is.