Getting ready to play a video game
in a nice, not-actually-dusty-but-
has-the-comfort-of-dustiness-like
Booksto­re.
Maybe.
"Townhall free wifi."
That's just great. I mostly
just cry and complain and wonder
why dolphins are so optimistic as
to not just off themselves,
since they can consciously do so.
Free wifi though.
I mean, that's just cool.

Run rabbit,
they say you live a second time,
wrote a bedtime story that was
pornographic in nature/features.

Heavens on earth, and earth is in hell.

They say they're gonna teach you
They say they're gonna learn it to you
Love me like a child and I'll
betray you like a father.

Prodigal son come back from
a land made holy by tongue-worship.
He said, "Now is the time we set aside
our petty bloodshed
and keep quiet where justice
fears to reveal itself."

I'm just really anxious right now, I guess.

It was 2:47pm;
text: "If they could just look between the cracks,
they'd see I'm really ******* trying."

Trying to sleep,
couldn't.
Wanted to be
strong for everyone.

Then it was 2:58pm;
"I'm just so tired of trying to
prove myself to everyone."
Walking to my old job,

but it was 10:46am;
"I just found out I'm one of 3
being interviewed for the position."
Inner panic and smothering
all the voices in your head
with

"received 11:44am;
Fingers crossed"

Sick sick, but no one cares,
everyone's tired of murdering me.

Or just trying, maybe everyone's just trying.

Took a map to the bathroom stall
and couldn't quite find where the
hell I am,
just know that
this place is pretty ******.

Can't sleep can't stay awake,
trying to take a break but
where the **** is the door?
Is it another place to live,
or is it something else?

I'm having trouble trying to tell,
and I don't know where to quit.

I'm not very impressed with
these modern advantages,
especially
ever since I grew a beard, and
now women tell me I'm sensational.

Didn't like the sun very much
till I spent two weeks basking
in computer light,
might get a warehouse job, it's nice,
although
I'd recommend never letting your
employer see your affiliations
with unionists.

Ever since I started blogging,
my face feels less appaling;
my cheap ties feel expensive,
tooth paste stains seem trivial
by extension.

Now that I've started complaining,
I feel like I'm inspiring a younger generation.
Must be what my parents felt like.
I hate myself for the similarities.

When I tell people I think I'm gorgeous,
they tell me I'm not a big deal.
For the record I never said I'm important
but I like myself sometimes,
and sometimes enough to be a priority.

Now I'm an East Coast savage wondering
if the other side thinks we're even stranger.
Less free, somehow.

Can't get closer to the floor now,
you should have fibbed;
You're so good at it.

****** it up and drew the strings together
lost the strings, fell, fell five stories,
fell through all your stories,
felt light like a feather
with a stomach lined with lead.

You're a mess again,
and you sleep in clouds
and sleep soundly all the while
a little voice in your head
wonders how.

It's useless.

Also, I am useless to describe
any situation where
I get out okay.
I want to take the blue line to
somewhere new and mysterious,
and try to fathom life
beyond,
"Giant Steps?"

No, that was John Coltrane.
"..."
That was John Cage,
and somewhere we roll in our graves
because the best references are lost
and the best ideas, spoiled,
and the greatest thing
about it is

who we've wasted it on.

There's a resentment that grows in me,
and I don't know when exactly
what day I became this bitter old man
stuck in the body of a **** young idiot.

I take my love wherever
it'll ******* come from now.
I yearn for anything.
Everything.
Death especially.

I don't wanna survive another winter.

I'm not dead yet, sugar.

I hope you aren't either.