Last night I had a dream
And in that dream
I fell asleep in your arms
A simple wish,
Which I desire greatly
It felt so real.

I was blissfully happy
And I felt so safe,
I finally felt at peace
A feeling which has been difficult to hold onto
As of late.

Now I'm awake,
Left to face the bitter reality
- I am all alone.

I miss you more than ever.

I hate you.

I hate you for what you did to me.

I hate you for making me write about you.

I hate you for making me love you

I love you

I love you for caring about me

I love you for filling my thoughts

I hate you for loving me

They say honesty is the best policy
so let me be honest with you

I hate myself
I always have
I always will

I can't do anything to change how I feel

I can't fix my face
I can't fix my voice
I can't fix myself

You want me to be honest, and you want me to change

But I am honest, and I cant change
I never will be able to
and you'll never understand

You say that me shutting you out is selfish
but lets talk about being selfish

Is it not selfish of you
to constantly demand me to
open up to you when I don't
want to talk about it?

Is it not selfish of you
to ask me to change my ways
just so that you don't have to
deal with my problems

Is it not selfish of you
to keep me here in misery
while I'm suffering and you
won't let me go

Is it not selfish of you
to ignore my problems
as if they were not important
and you don't care

So please don't call me selfish,
when in reality I should be calling you selfish

They say there are 1,025,109.8 words in the English language
yet none are capable of describing you

None of them are capable of showing your side of pure anger
and the side of caring for the things you like simultaneously

None of them are capable of showing how special you can make me feel
and then make me feel worthless seconds after

None of them are capable of saying how much I hate you
and none are capable of showing how much I love you

And that truly frustrates me

You didn't break me

You're just another person
who failed to fix me

but I was already broken