I only loved you
when it was
Convenient
I'm really sorry
that I  didn't think
of you
( When it really mattered.)
What's the matter with my
soul? It isn't correct
but nothing feels wrong.

I feel something , I don't know
if it's "sorry".

Looking into the void.
I think I seen you.

Reached out.
We met again.

For the first time.

It was love


Possibly maybe.

holding on to right now.


Frozen. your face perfection.

Eyes closed.

Waiting so anxiously for you
to open them.

You don't.
   My heart arrested by your beauty.
   Shatters when you chose not
   to look at me.



I don't feel any signs of growing.

26 Letter are not enough
To tell you my true feelings
26 letters is just too little
To tell you how much you mean to me
To tell you how much I love you
But here I am
Trying to get it all out
But theres no word perfect enough
To tell you how much you mean to me
You are the sun to me earth
You are the stars to my sky
You are mine

I’m sorry I’m not good enough
I’m sorry I’m too loud
I’m sorry you don’t like me
But none of that is my fault
I can’t be what you want
And I hurt myself because of that
You don’t see what you say affects me
You don’t notice the self-inflicted wounds
You just keep adding on and on
On way I’ll break ya know,
With every words said against me
Another cut is made
Soon enough there won’t be enough room
When the day comes
Maybe I’ll have had enough of this abuse
Until then,
I’ll take what you give me
I’m just sorry you can’t see the good in others
I’m sorry you can’t see your own flaws
But sometimes sorry isn’t enough

It's 3am

I'm on the phone
No one's awake and I'm alone

It's 3am

The radio's on
Songs are played on lonely station

It's 3am

I'm in my bed
My eyes are open and sleep has fled

It's 3am

I'm on the balcony
The sky is dark and just quite scary

It's 3am

Some windows have lights
Could they also not sleep tonight

It's 3am

I'm still awake
When will life ever give me a break

Hello everyone,

  I'm so very sorry … I feel horrible doing this, but I have no choice. You see, I have published my first book on Amazon/Kindle! This piece (and many others) had to be taken down because they do not allow published material to be available online for free. (Go figure) I wanted to leave the shell of the posts because I felt compelled to leave all your helpful and loving comments. (Silly sentimental, I know), but I also didn't want to just have the pieces disappear without an explanation. I feel bad enough as it is!

  I owe ALL of you so, SO much for all of your reads, love, and support. It was YOU that gave me the gumption to FINALLY get off my **** and publish! Thank you all for the warm comments, camaraderie, and encouragement! I will still be here, reading, uploading and just being the Rascal that I am. How could I EVER leave you guys?

  The book is called “The Way I See It – FictionPhilosophySoul Food” and it will be FREE for the first few days on Kindle Select, so watch for it, if you are interested. I hope that you go and grab it. If you do, I would also hope that you find it worthy, you would leave me a good review. That will help me get in the public eye! Soon afterwards (2-3 days or so), it will be available in paperback.

Find the book(s) here: www.amazon.com/author/jeff.gaines

Or find the book(s), and all about me, here: www.JeffGaines.world

  Soon after, I also hope to have my first novel (a supernatural thriller), called “Wanderer” available as well!

  Wish me luck!

                                Big, Biggest Love,

                                               Jeff Gaines

Every bone in my body aches
Long silenced joints whisper and croak
And my muscles shudder in agony

I should have been resting hours ago
But she's stabbed him in the back yet again
So I will stand here and pick up all his pieces.

I will silently plead to him.
Do not go back to her. Do not go back at all.
I will smother him with "that's terrible, I wish I could fix it all for you"

I will tuck him in to sleep,
And give him the restoration he needs.
In faith. In family. In music. In life

I will feed him far more than he needs
Because all he needs now is comfort
And when he says he's going back
I will tell him that it is his choice.

It is his choice to return to a drunken psychopath

It is his choice to love someone who cannot be saved, simply because they don't want to be.

It is his choice to try to save her.

It is his choice to let her run him over, time and time again.

And I will always be here at the ready,
Warm blanket, coffee, and warm meal
In my hands.

Ready to pick up all his pieces and stick him together like glue