I’m not an heiress
I don’t inherit shares
and shares of merit
just to share it
with the unfairest

I churn to earn
my turn to burn
returning from the urn
I yearn to learn
vernacular of fern

instead I tread
and tread unread
they fed our bread to leaded feds
who shred pedestrians unled
deadheads under bedspreads wed

I **** and choke on the smoke
I poke some coke then
I stroke some bloke to feel ok
under the yoke
I spoke jokes like I am woke

#facts on the graph
mass flashers ***-grab the staff
fast cashers stab the last laugh
flags cast at half
in daft aftermath

The day Acorn met Apple
He stared smiling at her
And stardust formed overhead

The day Acorn fell for Apple’s core
He tore the viral spore
Feeding on her soul no more

He polished her up
Ripened her fruit
He sprouted her seeds

A tree grew inside her
Acorn grew right beside her

Believe me the ringing from their seedlings singing
Made breathing seem easy

Believe in things changing
for better or worse
I will always be right here

On pages made with sunlight
Inscripted under starlight
Ingested by the firelight

Remove the screen to see
sparkles in a stranger’s eyes

True love never dies
And is brought to life
When rainbows soar the skies

My mother calls me "Lucky"
I'd call myself lonely,
lost in my longing for more.

Left handed and lippy, my Latin roots grab hold
short with little limbs, my bark is sharp
but my love soft.

Lumps lodged in my chest
loaded little rockets
launch when winter lands

Logic eludes my language
I speak, lucid lies loudly
laced with truths,
liquor tends to loosen, the lips

My Mother calls me "Lucky"
a shining lucky star,
I'd call myself Lady of the Lake
watery, and rippling

The body snatcher crawls from the bowels of disaster.
With blunt claws and cracked nails,
he flays the space,
grabbing bodies for the capture.

His home but a place to rest, to close his mind
and slowly peel the layers of dress,
where scars of bodies, picked his flesh.
Attempts so desperate, to remain un-snatched.

The body snatcher dreams of meat.
Meat so rancid, meat so sweet.
Some he sells, some he eats.
He names it snatched cuisine.

The sack he lumbers over shoulder,
resembles a black hole,
Those who enter, learn here after
that death lives stitched in wool,
Those once bagged, often gag
choking on the stench of others.

The body snatcher crawls from the bowels of disaster
A shadowy, feared, malicious captor

There's an ache it's hard to explain.
I hate the silence it seems to taunt me.
Remind me how alone I really am.
Ache for people to understand my desperate plea.
Yet no one listens.
No one wants to.
I ache for a little heartbeat that once was intertwined with mine.
I choose his happiness over mine.
But he doesn't need me.
No reason to want me.
My skin shivers with the desire to be wanted.
I feel utter hopeless invelope every bit of optimistic foolishness.
I sink.
It's not painful it doesn't hurt. I am not sad or tearful.
It's like a whiteboard filled with marks of emotion all of a sudden is wiped clean.
Blank...
Nothing...
A hole... something should be there.
A puzzle...
Knowing that something just isn't right. That hopeless desperate feeling...the hole is there filling up but with all negative emotions..
Self doubt, low self esteem, I'm useless, who really wants me anyways, rejection, undesireable, ugly, alone, wanting to bleed(fighting the desire to rip into my own flesh just to help me feel), just not good enough, naive, stupid, worthless, unattractive, ****** up, deserves to be alone, all these thoughts fill that hole.
Then I am nothing and everything all the same time.
But that everything is nothing all the same.
Viscous cycle of absolute and utter missery and torturous absence of exuberant life force
But it goes on and on
And tomorrow will be the same and the day after that and that and that.
And suffer for all eternity because my mind tell me I am destined for this fate.

I lay in awkward silence...
Intimancy all but taken from me.
My ability to shut down has become my personality...
I say a few words he doesn't understand.
He sees only what he wants to see.
He seeks only to pacify me...
Hopes all issues will just disappear.
He sees nothing wrong with how things are.
I am so lonely.
I shouldn't be.
I have basic needs that just never seem to get satisfied.
There must be something seriously wrong with me.
Am I broken?
In my throat forms a lump but I can not cry.
I am weak my greatest fear to be alone.
I can be with myself and spend time with myself but oh how I just want someone to love me.
Not in the family way not in the friend way but to look at me with desire and passion.
To put me on equal ground.
To really make me into their partner.
No one does tho.
I turn over to lay in awkward silence on my other side the rain falls outside...the sky at least knows to spill it's greif.