I like pens that bleed
Ink that smears
Girls with scars
Broken parts
***** clothes
Stained sheets
The hint of blood
The taste of lust
The smells of love
Nights through morning
Mornings to night
Suns that sleep
Moons that dream
And all the pretty
You hide underneath
Those pretty
Pretty
Pretty things

As a young girl, I paid attention
I knew what happened behind closed doors
It was horrid.
I recall nights of sickness
Inhaling your mistakes into my tiny lungs
And kids didn't want to sit with me at snack time
Because I reeked of regret.
And now, years later
When you found my bag of ***
How could you be surprised?
How could you be shocked
That your daughter, now sixteen
Picked up the same habits you practiced
Her entire life?
Because that burning feeling in my throat
Mixed with cool fall air and sadness
Was my ultimate high.
Because this was easier than dragging a sharp blade
Across my arm to bring some sort of
Non-existent relief.
It was better to escape to somewhere else
Where my problems were small
And I was free.
And when you asked me where I got it
How could you be even the tiniest bit surprised
When you heard that my answer was,
"From your stash"?

The 'lantern flies' were actually the paratroopers of war
descending onto the ground I was sworn to protect
Jesus laughed out loud , hot boxed a final drag off a Pall
Mall cigarette , flicked it into a minefield where it exploded
in every direction
I fired at the Moon from every position
Begged the night to come to an end
Woke up in a room destroyed , fired rounds
into blackness till the weapon jammed , patrolled
my field of fire from a window till the Sun kicked in*....

For you, a song that touches your heart.
For you, a book, a literary art.
For you, a family, gentle and kind.
For you, a friend with you on their mind.
For you, a meal fit for a king.
For you, a swan with elegant wings.
For you, a mind and body and soul.
For you, a memory to remember it all.

For you, the world full of radiant life.
For me, a sharp pain in my heart, like a knife.

Take a dream to a star
****** the man in the moon
Put a bullet in his back
Watch the sky crack
Walk along the fallen pieces in the air
You will find it easiest this way
Don't mistake your tears for the rain
You will only get lost in the waves
It might feel like its been weeks
Of weeping in a dream
And thats when you will find
A starfish in a noose
Hanging just out of reach
You won't be able to take another step
Without finding your own death
You will be at the beginning of new dreams
When you find yourself
At oceans end

Impossible.That is what it feels like.
How can darkness be this dark.
I can see the Light,but the enemy tells me I cannot reach it.
I feel this sinking feeling deep inside me.
I am so scared,can you understand?
Am I the only one who feels alone?
I feel weak,tired,hopeless...
My emotions swirl around my soul giving me a feeling
no words can describe.
But I still see the Light,I hear the Voice that says I am not alone,
I feel the pain, yet I know deep,deep, inside me their is a higher truth than my dark signings,there is Hope,Faith,Love.
Please show me how to get out of my own way.
I need Truth, I not only need that Light, I hunger and thirst for it.
I need that Light to envelop everything that I am
giving me what I have always yearned for, to fill the emptiness
and heal my scars.