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Nov 2021 · 237
babylove
Evelyn Rose Nov 2021
I call him babylove
because
his skin is so soft
it reminds me of weeping
at your tiny feet
I call him babylove
because
he wakes me in the night
and interrupts my dreaming
I call him babylove
because he keeps growing and changing
right before my eyes
I call you babylove
because
you take and take
and still I give you more.
Oct 2021 · 124
Untitled
Evelyn Rose Oct 2021
Look me in the eye
Tell me that somewhere beneath the bone
Your heart beats only for me.

Tell me you love me
and let me love you for it.
Oct 2021 · 262
dreams
Evelyn Rose Oct 2021
the alarm tugged me from my dreams
and i wept
for what could have been.
Oct 2021 · 360
repeating
Evelyn Rose Oct 2021
I am scared of time passing,
of becoming my future self.
Not being able to distinguish her from my present self.
I wrote this over a year ago. It is still true. Here come my fears to haunt me.
Jun 2021 · 591
Desert
Evelyn Rose Jun 2021
take me to the desert
no one will find me there
sandstorms will obscure our footsteps
the sun will sweat out all our sins
Jun 2021 · 118
More than anything
Evelyn Rose Jun 2021
I told you to remember your phone charger
and
also
to remember
that I love you.
More than anything
in the world
more than autumnal trees through frosty windows, freshly cut grass, poetry, the smell of books, old and new, potato waffles, scrambled eggs and hot rain.
Because you are sunlight
after an arctic winter
you are the warmth under my skin
you, my love
are more than
anything.
Jun 2021 · 1.4k
Durham / For Phoebe
Evelyn Rose Jun 2021
There's some pain in this. There's some growing up and moving on.
There's letting life go. There's endless cyclical comparison, I want to be like you, I don't want to be like you.
Here at the edge of the future there's fear so thick you can touch it.
There's a life borrowed. A bed borrowed. Friends. A bathroom, a towel, toothpaste.
There's a river and a racecourse and rowers and jealousy biting at the bone. Luck in sprinkles and saturation.
There's meeting the boyfriend, the housemates, the puzzle pieces of the past and the potential.
Somewhere there's regret. Of not being good enough, smart enough, rich enough, pretty enough, skinny enough.
There's some missing home and some glad to get away.
A deep breath and a scuba dive into a life that was only an expanse of water in the distance.
There's some letting me in, some sharing of stories, some secrets kept.
There's recollection, backward pedaling, basking in past experience in the invisible, unbearable weight of the years that brought us here.
Names remembered. Nights we'd rather forget. There's a newness brewing, promises of something else beyond this, just around the weeks that hold us back.
This year, plus this year plus these hours equals a key, opening doors, company cars and apartments.
There's a sinking. Right back to sixteen, to sleepovers and sleeplessness.
Look at us. We've wound our way here. There's pride. We made it from there to here, from somewhere to somewhere else.
Mar 2020 · 88
like crazy
Evelyn Rose Mar 2020
I cannot stay
I must go
or
He cannot stay
He must go
or
He will not stay
He goes
He leaves me all alone

We spend this long together.
Then it ends.
"We" become a me and a you.
Notes on a film (Like Crazy 2011) I watched long ago and then I watched again.
Words I wrote not realising they were for my future self.
Feb 2020 · 108
Listen.
Evelyn Rose Feb 2020
Listen.
Cars on the motorway speed past.
The fridge hums, the radiator creaks.
Listen beneath that.
Is that the sound of the sea?
Waves gently greeting the beach?
Or is that the hum of my ears when they hear nothing?

Beneath the noise is the sound of loneliness, the sound of nothing.
Silence.
I can feel it, almost taste it, reach out and touch it.
It is alive and shimmering.
Feb 2020 · 118
Trip to Valencia
Evelyn Rose Feb 2020
Go to the city
Walk around
Feel the people, the heartbeat of the street.
Look in shops, museums.
Stop in cafes, drink, eat, sobremesa yourself.
See friends, talk, laugh.
Realise you're alive.
Sobremesa is a Spanish word meaning staying at the table after a meal and just chatting with the people around you.
Feb 2020 · 99
Ghost
Evelyn Rose Feb 2020
I walk through my apartment, up and down.
The same movements I have been doing for
days,
weeks,
months.

I am my own ghost.
Jan 2020 · 111
Love letter
Evelyn Rose Jan 2020
She wants to write about something beautiful,
mountains, the sea, stars in the night sky.
But all that comes to mind is a jawline,
the smell of campfire in his hair,
a tattooed shoulder,
the bump in the middle of his lip.
She can only think about scarred hands,
a line of hair at his navel,
strong arms and soft skin.
No other natural phenomena compares.
She thinks about beauty, she thinks about him.
Oct 2019 · 259
Santa Pola skies
Evelyn Rose Oct 2019
Yesterday when I was walking along the beachfront and the sun was painting the sky pink with candyfloss clouds as it set, I missed you and I wished you were holding my hand.
Oct 2019 · 158
889 miles to you
Evelyn Rose Oct 2019
Lay on the bed with me
Look at the ceiling in the fading light
Hold my hand
Listen to the music
Hear the sadness leaking through the speaker
Close your eyes
Feel yourself spin
Anchor yourself to me

I won't let you go.
Oct 2019 · 467
Burn
Evelyn Rose Oct 2019
Wood dissolves into nothing
A mountain of ash
Grey wind tomorrow
Heat simmers in the air, shivering
Gather round
Flames flicker
Reaching out for ripe branches
Trees bow at the flames
Mar 2019 · 216
Garden
Evelyn Rose Mar 2019
You touch me
and your hands begin to sow,
the roses grow inside my heart
and whisper your name in the wind
But you do not stay,
to prune them
or water them.
At last they wither,
and only the thorns remain.
Oct 2018 · 241
Paleokastritsa
Evelyn Rose Oct 2018
Show me the beach again
I have not seen such blue in so long
Take me back to the stones along the ocean floor
Paddle in hand we push ourselves further out
I slide in
Salt water on my tongue, sweat and sea
We lost the footage from the GoPro
But I remember like it were yesterday,
Pale legs below
Swallowed by the seaweed
Fear of fish, of going out too far
But you are there
Frustrated with my antics
Stuck in the boat
You do not want to dive in
But I persuade you
To escape the sun.
The water is warm
Welcoming
You dive deeper than I can
You disappear
Then bob back up
Climb into the boat
And we return to shore.
Oct 2018 · 381
Untitled IIII
Evelyn Rose Oct 2018
Burst into tears for no reason,
Except the girls in my class are
******,
Rude,
Unpleasant,
Judgemental,
Apathetic.
Burst into tears for no reason,
Except there’s a lot going on at home,
I’m not sleeping,
I’m struggling with money,
My Grandma has gone,
There’s no internet escape.
Burst into tears for no reason,
Except I do not feel well,
My stomach is in knots,
My brain throbs inside my head.
Burst into tears for no reason,
Except I’m overwhelmed,
With work,
And uni prep,
New classmates, classrooms,
And societies to join,
Friends to meet.
Burst into tears for no reason,
Except all of this is going on.
All at once.
Sep 2018 · 485
Shedding Skin
Evelyn Rose Sep 2018
This is the tough exterior
march in docs and denim
head down
cover face with hair, but
crack me open
this soft interior
leaks, drips, pools
I am blood, flesh, water
push and dent me
bruise turning blue
wish for gentler settings
my body stings
remove the make-up
scrunch up eyes
I am not who I used to be.
Sep 2018 · 296
Home
Evelyn Rose Sep 2018
It is a part of me now.
The smell of fermenting hops in the wind
white flowers and jasmine in summer
the call of trains as they depart
foxes at night, inquisitive introverts
the smell of rain after sun
flying ants on the patio
unwanted evidence of cats in the alleyway
the sweet stench of doughnuts, not yet forgotten
ice cream sirens, a warning to placating parents
low voices in the evening
windows stretching open
feet on carpet that still acts new
This is home
This is (**)me
Dec 2017 · 227
Anxiety
Evelyn Rose Dec 2017
These butterflies have made their nest
Inside me
My stomach is their cocoon
These caterpillar worries
Have spread their wings.
Dec 2017 · 709
Onwards
Evelyn Rose Dec 2017
I am ready to leave,
this nest of
m&s duvet covers,
The smell of pasta,
Fresh linen,
Striped carpet,
Laughter,
And candlewax.
This nest has kept me in its
Clutches.
Safe, warm
Like coffee in cold hands,
Surrounded by the scent of home
For 18 years.

Finally this bird
has fully extended wings
and
will fly
Onwards.
Aug 2017 · 282
Oblivion
Evelyn Rose Aug 2017
I am hoping for oblivion,
The feeling of no control,
The moment before you wake
in a dream about
Falling.
From a cliff face
Or sky high building
I jump
I soar
I plummet.
I join the ground
My soul dissolves.

I am new.
Aug 2017 · 269
Sun
Evelyn Rose Aug 2017
Sun
The sun shone down
upon us.
It glowed.
A star, a shining ball,
mass and lava
light and gas,
it warms us all.
Aug 2017 · 360
Rot
Evelyn Rose Aug 2017
Rot
We have run our three course meal into the ground.
So back to the house no longer called a home,
where the air is stale with unfulfilled promises and carbon monoxide,
suffocating.
In the harsh light of the fridge,
the milk sits,
souring.
The fruit bowl is a compost heap
of overripe cherries,
covered in the moss of mould.
The apples have furred over,
biodegraded.
Become a new, poisonous organism.
Like us.
Aug 2017 · 282
The Cubicle
Evelyn Rose Aug 2017
There was a girl crying in the loo today,
when asked if "okay?"
She lied,
said she was fine
from behind the locked door.
Staring at linoleum speckled with grey dots,
and tears.
Little could be done
for the crying girl behind the toilet door.
I hope she is okay.
Aug 2017 · 781
Foxgloves
Evelyn Rose Aug 2017
As we walk,
You tell me
that the silt from the river
has built up over the years
creating a new bank
with flowers
and plants
making the best of the rich soil.
As you speak,
I note the sound of your voice
and wish
I could sink in
and grow
like the foxgloves
in the mud.

— The End —