Sometimes love makes you say incredible things.
Sometimes they're right.

my first heartbreak wasn't one for the movies or the novels.

there was no shouting or cursing,
only the echo of my hurt raining down

and as I sunk to my knees and begged him to change,
he stood there silently and just turned away.

my first heartbreak wasn't by a boy but by a man.

it was slow and gradual and the worst pain imaginable.

and it left me wondering
why I'm not worth more than a bottle.

I am not writing this
to get attention
or pity
or so people will tell me
I'm beautiful the way I am.

I am writing this
because when I post a poem about
being terrified to look at myself
because I hate what I see,
it should not be added to a collection titled
Humorous.

I am writing this
because when I sit at a lunch table
without a brown paper sack,
boys should not laugh when they ask
what, are you anorexic?

I am writing this
because when I watch Disney Channel
with my eight-year-old cousin,
I should not hear jokes
about skipping meals.

I am writing this
because when you google
anorexia is,
the first suggestion should not be
anorexia is good.

I am writing this
because our society should not
expect people to be paper thin
but judge them
for trying to get there.

I am writing this
because insecurities
are not a joke,
*no one
should be laughing.

Today I finally felt equal to you
When we were standing in front of the class
Talking about History
Side by side
Together

If you’re building a net
to catch someone’s attention,
well, try building a bigger one.
One huge enough
to catch this world,
the moon, the planets
the stars…
and not just someone!
Never settle for just someone.

I think I love you,
but I want you to be happy
so I'm letting you go.