Ive been chewing my bottom lip
Wishing it was yours
Maybe then
I wouldnt bleed
So much

Clipping my fingernails
Down to the nub
Because i want
To paint them black

I cant quit tearing
Out pages
And pages
Of poems

Because
Every
Single
Word
Is all about you

Control freak
to
control freak
This will be a duel
Your hand
in
my hair
Using me as your tool

Youll tell me
What to do
Ill manipulate
The scene
Youll be
the cruel master
But youll never
Be mean

I can play
the kitten
Harmless
Just wanting
to play
And then youll
Lose control
From the ***** things
I say

How can I show you
How much you mean to me
When all I can do is
tell you?

Some people
Just aren't worth a poem,
Or a thought.

I wish i could decipher
Chemical desires
Do i want your heart
Or is my chest a liar

I can hold your hand
And it just feels warm
Your lips dont have
Me feeling torn

But you can say some
Dorky line
Or you can
Look me in the eye

And you can bet
I cant feel anything
But the clogging of my throat
And my heart fluttering

Ill brush you off
Our of self preservation
I dont know how to feel
Without emmense reservation

I was laying in bed and I moved over so i could see the stars
And i laid there and thought about why it is that
Tortured souls hold the highest places in my heart
Theres something about going through the pain of a life that makes a person more beautiful then innocence ever could

Time is moving slowly
About as fast as grass grows
The heart of love drops below the ground
Time goes slow
The feeling of fear spreads everywhere
An icy grip covering the world
Oh my sun, Come back
Spread your love and warmth on me
Don't go away
Please... Don't leave me

The icy fear slowly creeps along
Deepening the cold in that dropped heart
Oh my sun, Won't you come back to me now?
Comfort my heart
Warm my freezing faith
Replace it with love

Time is moving slow
My fear grows
Leaving everything around me frozen
Maybe time has completely stopped
But the cold grows on and on
Maybe it will never end
Unless, maybe, you, my sun will return

Theres a parasite in my brain that eats away at my memories everyday
I lose more and more of them in every way
I think that if i could just remember everything thats happened that i will be okay and that everything will make sense and i wont be so sad
Remembering will make me understand again
And i plead with a god that i dont have but need to grant me my memory
And i spend my time in my hypocritical ways expecting help but maybe its better this way
Memories are in the past for a reason
Maybe they arent all needed

Adrenaline
And
Shaky hands
And i guess im not so good.

Im insecure
But you want more
And
I dont know what i can give.

You dont care
About my flaws
You
Have
A goal
In mind

Easy come
Easy go
Im afraid
Thats
Exactly
What
Youll
Do.