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 Jun 2019 Empire
Marissa
proper dose
 Jun 2019 Empire
Marissa
i feel it in my chest
with every breath feeling heavier than the last, like someone is playing jenga
with concrete stones on my body

my eyes burn
the same type of pain that comes from gripping a hot pan
or pouring acid on your face

i sit atop my bed, restlessly scratching
my arms or my heels
dissecting the layers of my skin
trying to feel something
or for a sign that I’m still alive

then the thoughts come creeping in
about how my body is disgusting
and i should never eat again
and how i’m just not smart enough
and no matter how much stress I put into my work
it will never be enough

even my meds know that I’m not enough
because even the proper dose
can’t help me
 Jun 2019 Empire
B
sertraline
 Jun 2019 Empire
B
brain zaps, brain fog
welcome to Zoloft
refill your script
before you decide to quit
this pill comes with a cost
it's not that easy
to taper off
this illness is not visible
one might say it's despicable
the pill that can make things bearable
everyday at the same time
remember it's no cure
but
it can help
and that can be worth
feeling secure
SSRI's Zoloft (sertraline)
 Jun 2019 Empire
eileen
stumbling
 Jun 2019 Empire
eileen
we're so good at falling
I must admit
I love the feeling
of letting go
feels so good to fall
 Jun 2019 Empire
eileen
spinning
 Jun 2019 Empire
eileen
are we moving on
are we letting go

you can't do so

nothing feels good
I can't fix it

I just wanted to try
 Jun 2019 Empire
eileen
I saw the demon under my bed
invited
now it lives inside my head

living in a house of balloons
hurts to breathe
can't open the window

I've got scars
my demons love to flaunt

in the darkest alleys
I do things
killing my soul

never liked medicine
I've been drinking potions
drinking coins
coughing up dollar bills

sitting on the coldest couch
what day is it
feel so out of it

what's going on outside
the balloons pop
I can't hear a thing

sober in the morning
afternoon calls
night time falls

keeping all these demons warm
 Jun 2019 Empire
Cobear
I tried to **** myself once
With a bottle of pills
And a mind full of voices
Swallowing two dozen
Everything was blurry  
My vision was gone
But my mind was clear
I saw everything I loved
I saw everything I hated
I was face to face with every insecurity
And at the same time
Engulfed in self love
Life isn’t appreciated until it’s gone
 Jun 2019 Empire
pk tunuri
Writing
 Jun 2019 Empire
pk tunuri
Writing heals if you're in pain
Writing won't let your memories go in vain
 Jun 2019 Empire
Bec
Fat
 Jun 2019 Empire
Bec
Fat
Fat.
The word falls from your lips
like venom.
I know your throat burns every time
you say it.
I see the tears you try to brush off.
Fat.
Because what could be worse, right?
You could be mean,
or selfish,
or violent.
But no, you had to be
Fat.
If only you knew the years I've spent
learning to love every single inch of me,
teaching myself that "fat" is not a
curse word.
Years spent undoing long nights
that I've stayed awake,
sobbing,
praying to every god I knew
that I could wake up and be
skinny.
You tell me I am beautiful.
You promise me
that you have eyes for
no one else.
But I know your eyes lust for
thin.
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