You taught me so many things,
Yet you forgot to teach me
how to live without you

A mind so full, a heart so cold.
So bitter, self hatred starting to unfold.
Blank stare in my eyes, lost in a daze.
My life is like a nightmare, I can't seem to erase.
This pain is here to stay,
Not even the rain can wash it away.
No not this time, I've lost my self this time.
Lost in my own thoughts, lost in my own mind.
My conscience screaming, My head pounding.
Louder, louder, I can hear it, insanity surrounding.
My veins ticking, My Hearts beating so fast,
Will I survive this, how much longer will this last?
This pain is here to stay,
Not even the rain can wash it away.
No not this time, I've lost my self this time.
Lost in my own thoughts, lost in my own mind.
I cant get away,
there's no escaping it.
I have to fight it,
I wont give in.
I won't let my ****** up conscience win.

it's sorta kinda my birthday today.
and i know i should be happier than i am right now.
but truth is, i'm not.
i'm pretty much depressed to be honest.
but not that it matters though.

i really just wanted to thank all you bloggers for giving me pieces of your heart,
the kindness and motivation that makes my world seem like a better place at times.
because if there's one good decision i've made in life,
it would be opening up myself to all of you.

this space has made me feel heard.
this space has made me feel wanted.
this space has made me feel loved.

and just in case you didn't know,
every one of you,
makes a difference,
every time.