Although
you are no longer
interlocked
with my mortal coil
there are planes
where you can never
be untangled
and while
most of the time
my soul screams for
a relase from such bind
there are clear moments
where it would sacrifice all
to feel so close again

Words don't come to me anymore
silence grows deeper in my soul
the pain gets stronger and stronger.

My hopes, they turn to ashes
at the touch of my hands
I lose them, they slip through my fingers
and they're no Phoenix bird,
won't ever reborn.

Disappointment,
Failure
At every step I take.
My life,
a sinking ship.
My fears consume me day by day.

My love makes me rot inside
light burns my eyes,
music hurts my mind,
my soul is full of scars,
hopeless,
empty,
weak.

I shall die in the darkest silence.

In my 22 years of life, I've learned about two main invisible forces that have a profound affect on the way people carry out their everyday lives; Pain and Pleasure. A plethora of events throughout mankind's could be attributed to a quest for pleasure, a desperate escape from pain, or a number of other circumstances. In my personal journey, however, I've endured both while looking for something else entirely. My father used to tell me, "Those who seek out love the most, are the ones it will most likely avoid." I can safely say after 5 years of looking for love, I've experienced more pleasure and pain than I ever thought possible for a life time. But now that love has found me, I wouldn't trade those 5 years for anything in the world. Looking back, I realize you have to experience the trials and errors of true love long before it ever finds you. Of course things will happen, nothing is going to be perfect 24/7. But the experience from previous relationships you've had have more than likely taught you to ask yourself 3 questions before taking things too far:

1) Is this real?

2) Is this healthy?

3) Will this last?

At The end of the day, If all signs point to yes, than be prepared for a spiraling rollercoaster full of romance and despair combining to make for the perfect storm that finally feels like home.

And then
In a single moment
You were the oxygen I breathe
I found it hard to believe
That I might die without your touch
Just your presence and your scent
Was more than enough
But a tiny drop of your love
Could never be too much

You can no longer knock at the door
of your paradise lost
bliss you forfeited
now you are tossed

into the oblivion
of limbo
there's no light to lead you
and you don't know where to go.

Here is the abyss
of the darkest of the dark
worse than the ship-wrecked
not even the weakest spark

of hope will appear to console
none will hear your lament
banished from the golden land
in this wretched pit all your years will be spent.

Dear love,
Bear with me. My soul has been to hell and back. My brain is clouded by the sting of the pain. I want to love and feel. But all that I am is hate. My soul is broken but I attempt to light a candle and build a sun anyways. Yet the chill of the wind whisks it away. I can not tell you what's worse, I am either drowning in the ocean or starving in the desert. There is no in between. I am fighting a loosing battle and can not see the end of the tunnel.
Dear love, bear with me.

Poetry,
like ***,
momentarily
destroys
the misery
of the world.
  ~mce