Her mind was a swirling city
With streets and buildings and stop lights
Woven together as tight as they dared
Bustling people, ideas, swarmed the streets and sidewalks
Pushing to their destinations
None stopped to talk
I was so insignificant
So trivial
A tourist they had been trained to ignore
I sat and watched.
For hours I did nothing but watch
The marvel that is her mind
How it ticked ever on at dizzying speed
A spider web of sprawling streets

i smoke kush
incase you didnt know
but i am not scared
the feds cant get me
for reggae mon is only an entity
how can they catch
a fish that does not swim
a butterfly that does not fly
a rabbit that does not run
if they are not there
there is no way to catch
the merely superficial
there is no way to catch
the reggae mon offishal

And you craft your weapons
You put up your walls
Cause when the night comes around
Monsters try to hunt you down.
Does it not make sense?
Even in Minecraft things will try to get to you
You can't get away from them.
You can't get away from the darkness
You can't get away from the pain they bring
As they attack you with their bows
Blows up all your efforts
**** you slowly.
You can never get away from your thoughts.
What you can do is watch.
Watch as the hearts break one by one.
You can try to play games, ***
But you can never find an escape.

Feeling alone in room full of people
is like a corpse on the shoulder,
it's like anchors at your chest.
I do this trick where I disappear
just long enough that when I return
no one will call me.

I don't want to be alone,
but I feel like vase that breaks,
and every time I try I am less whole,
and in a different shape.

I'm always scared that I am getting so **** old
when I still feel like I fit in my mother's lap.
With her hands through my hair,
I can finally sleep,

but I have the same weird dream where
I am 15 and I'm making out with Mikey
in the restroom of Russell's party.

He is lifting my shirt and I tell him if he stops
he can still tell his friends that I let him touch me.

Mikey smiles and leaves, and again
somebody else is telling my story.

gives people advice when i cant even handle my own problems

he writes the kind of music that
     thrums
the way your blood just can't.
you're never more alive than
the roar of your soul
chasing after that drumbeat
     (the piper only had to change his tune)
he could unmake you
reduce you to bass and thrashing vocals
'til you're bursting with sound
so larger than life
you'd bleed and burn to feel it again

Its something I just can't deny
It causes all these tears I cry
The source of all my trust issues
The bane of all the love mis use
This forgiveness that I need    
Forgiveness in my self ,
so please
Inner me I'm begging you
Forgive my faults and burdens     through                                              
These last few years of teenage life
This something I just can't deny
The cause of all the tears i cry
This pain , so much
I don't know why
So inner me I'm begging you
Forgive myself          
And just  accept the truth
      
       ~MONIQUE ISOM

'everyone has changed since the beginning of the year'*

'yeah, everyone is broken...'

If someone were to lurk in my mind.
If someone were to see what goes on on there.
Would they understand? Would they see?

I am not happy,
Nor am I depressed.
If they knew my past,
Would they judge me?

Of course they would.
This life we live,
Is so scary.

Would they understand?
Would they see?
I do not self harm,
I hate pain.

Pain sometimes is my only escape.
I'm lonely,
I need someone
But I hate people, they are annoying.

If they knew my past,
Would they judge me?  
Why wouldn't they?

Its life they say.
If this is life.
I don't want to go through it.
Awake me when it gets better.