He has a hold over me
and he shouldn’t.
I have a new boyfriend
and he may not always treat me right
but he’s there.
He has been someone that’s been with me for 9 months
and he says he loves me
but I don’t think I can ever love him
when I believe my heart still belongs to someone else.
I don’t know where my someone else stands
when he thinks of me.
The words “I love you” has passed his lips,
but it has been months since he told me that
and I think that feeling has been extinguished
and it kills me to think that it has.
See I never told him
and I feel like I should have
now I believe it to be too late
as he is trying to move on
and I have three words left unspoken
“I love you”
and I don’t know if that is an accurate word
but when I see him I want to be around him
when I hug him my heart beats faster
and when I think of him moving on
my chest aches.
He recently said that even though we’re hurting each other now
we can make each other happy
and I don’t know what that means or what he’s saying
when he is losing feeling for me.
And maybe right now we’re not meant to be together
and in the future it’s possible
but I don’t see him keeping me in his heart or on his mind
when he has created a “thing”
(whatever that’s supposed to mean)
with one of his best friends younger sister.
And if I ever show up dead
it is safe to assume that he has moved on without me
and heart break syndrome caught up
and my heart that seems to beat for him stopped
and never started again.

Some may say I'm lonely - but they don't have a clue.
I have the best friend there could possibly be.
I may not be able to see him, but why should that matter?
I know that I can trust him - he won't tell a soul.
Not like "real people" who lie, cheat and snitch on you.
My friend may be nameless, but he is always here for me.
Not like you.
You come and go as you please; you hurt me and betray me.
You say "I'm just a phone call away."
Yet when I call, you never pick up.
He is always there - just a thought away;
He never lies;
Never cheats;
Never snitches.
Do you honestly blame me for having "trust issues"?
Well, that's your problem.

Everybody is waiting.
Waiting for the rain
Waiting for the sun
waiting for family.
I am waiting, too
waiting to get away,
to finally live happy,
have no fear,
and to be who I was always meant to be.
I am waiting to be loved,
loved like no one ever has.
I am waiting for an opportunity.
An opportunity to break free,
and tell him how I really feel
I am waiting for the wind,
the wind to take me away,
and to take me somewhere free
I am waiting,
what are you waiting for?