Your love again,
                         caught me off guard
An invasion of,
                         the very same body
snatches,
that once again
emphatically dominated every
white cell.

Defences beaten,
                           down to
                                        the bare bones.

A hospital room
                          for broken hearts reserved.

Time stands still,
                           not even
the ticking of a clock
to count the days
til the grave I will fly.

A tombstone engraved -
She never would learn


© Sia Jane

The sea is never still.
It pounds on the shore
Restless as a young heart,
Hunting.

The sea speaks
And only the stormy hearts
Know what it says:
It is the face
          of a rough mother speaking.

The sea is young.
One storm cleans all the ****
And loosens the age of it.
I hear it laughing, reckless.

They love the sea,
Men who ride on it
And know they will die
Under the salt of it

Let only the young come,
     Says the sea.

Let them kiss my face
     And hear me.
I am the last word
     And I tell
Where storms and stars come from.

I lost my job.
I lost control.
I lost my friends.
I lost my soul.
I lost my appetite,
My thirst.
I lost my blessings,
Found a curse.
I lost my dignity,
My pride.
I lost my heart.
I lost my mind.
I lost my vices,
Virtue too.
Nothing hurt —
Until I lost you.

I’ve been waiting for a sign to tell me what to do next, but I’ve discovered that maybe there’s small hints in everything, that we don’t initially notice.
Like how big you finally feel under a sky of a thousand stars, or how good it feels to run barefooted through a parking garage.
It could be hidden under the words of a kind stranger, or the way he talks to you like maybe you’re more important than you thought before.
Maybe it’s masked by the lacking I love you’s and the way he doesn’t quite feel like home anymore.

I think you have to really look for them, or maybe just let them happen and realize afterwards what you had missed when you saw his hand reaching for yours.
A season of change is scary, but it is okay to shed the old skin of an old version of you to embrace a new reality.
Go towards what makes you feel like running up five flights of stairs to lay in the middle of a roof top in the freezing cold, your laugh carrying through the night air.
Open your arms to what makes you feel warm in the middle of the November wind.
Let your heart explore what you are trying to push aside in your head.
It is okay to feel things that you’ve never felt before, but it’s not okay to ignore them.

She complains of emptiness
A draw of the blunt, rivers of liquor.
Suppressed & oppressed
"Can death come any quicker?"
Half her soul down the drain
Her noose; preferably a spiked chain..
Drowning in thoughts
fighting last minute and now swimming to shore..
Washed up on land, attempting to stand
But no longer can..
She sits up and sees a wave coming in
Giving up and unable to rise
Arms extended towards the sky
Shutting her eyes
Waiting for the tide to come in..
The end now begins.

Remember when it meant the world to you?

When
          We were one in a million
          And out of 7 billion, you chose me

When
          Everyone tried to tear us down,
          But we’d pack up our things and leave town

When
          We would stay up late at night
          To keep each other warm and wrap each other tight

When
          We would whisper secrets in our ears
          Just tell each other things we already knew

When
          You’d tell me you loved me
          And I would tell you that I loved you too

You may have forgotten, but I still remember—
I still remember when I thought love was true.

Your eyes were extremely green today.
I noticed that because
They literally glistened
As you stared off, zoning out.
And your whole face changed.
And in those moments,
You were extremely beautiful.