Who am I?
Why do I feel this hurt
When I've been there
Where heaven only knows
What compels me, return.
How do I feel this hurt
When I purposefully
Buried it under the hole
From which it sprung
I don't want to let low
My other half
Please come back to me
Please make me safe again

Former methhead checks me
With his eyes, says hi
Hey, one small cup, please
Coffee with sugar and cream
MJ, not holding but maybe
Some day I'll entertain you
With a couple bowls
So we can get to know each other
He thought I was born this way
Should I or not make this basic
Thing the basis from which
I make the decision to let you in?
Why not?
I like it
Can't seem to find many hidden
In the masses of my kind who get it
So ****,
Drink up getting buzzed meet up
With my little sis
Hey, sister, toot
Do a line or two
Miserable friends of the white
Grain powder, ******* brain
How dare haters say I'm insane
Naw, I like it, appreciate
The way you look overwhelmed
With disgust, huh
Maybe I'm a bad person
When it comes down to it
With the worst brought out
By faith I choose not to deny
Celebrate

Your bed is gone
Your dresses along
With every hint of you,
No visuals, but
Memory is scent to me
It's in vibrations
Caught trapped in the walls
And ceiling, singing back to me
To hear and smell you present
Remains a privilege that I'll
Only return to dirt or air
If I wind up burned to ashes
Rather than interred and even
Then, logic could
Not prevent me
Proof could
Not convince me
That the height of the fence we climbed
Could fall to dust in the darkness
Just fall apart in dark just out of view
Deprive endlessness of you

Have you ever heard the pin drop brightly,
Leather boots on one hundred bodies?
Mermaids, mutants, captivating aliens,
What a world, what a world.

Trees keep calling me elsewhere lately,
Again, more than ever
Wind that I believe is your breath
Scent of the highly
Rose to the nose pricking blood

I wanted this
I got this
Ripped up home
Hell bound
I want this
Necrotic
Kiss on my lips
Unbound
Lashes on the wrist
Just a form of risk
Unleashed

Watched old and lonely walking this road
Naming the nameless ones from a chair
On three legs splinted up with bricks
I chipped the mortar out holding out
For footsteps in the dirt like the heel
Toe once heard, enduring over bounds
And now beating in the depths right
Next to death. Whispers softly at
Distance maybe only echoes from
The wind.

I hold out.
Fight fury in the doubt.
I hold out.
Binoculars looking.

Nursed and fed empty chests and stomachs
No less to give from my own abyss
Could crawl over nail bleeding for
The kin the world lost when it ended
Just to do my only due to give
Back what I know to show the wandering
You might survive in lack.
Oh I lack.

I hold out.
I hold out.
Binoculars up

Years ago I wondered to myself in bed
What is existing in the world more than this -
If for trying it's only hurt in reward and
The weary crumbling into dirt of all the
Words ever said, I'll **** myself before
You can, god will witness the pious in
The most holy premature ascent

Born again time and time further out
Without some father's blessing, left sole
And only kicking rocks awake in
June under heaven's waste, praying no more for
Empties just in case - my fallen brother
Kicks beside my hope all knowing speaking openly
Of heart to pain to make the anchor replace
With ancient submerged courage right in the
Bitter face of less

Ivy pull the hemlock tightly at the neck
Do you know?
Mutant fighting inside me
Where have you been?
Here now
Here and now
Mighty mindful
Passionate