i didn't wear my hat, i know
i should have, but i felt rebellious
in some small way, i tried to cheat the day
and paid in tingling pain, sharp aching corners
and a strange sense of pride in my bones warmed me
until just the tips of my ears were left white, dead
yes, dead
but i felt alive

to be in danger and know it, to press on against the cold
to push forward into the wind, though before you is only white
to turn blindly into the storm, to accept the blizzard's strength
to guess what lies ahead in fear and still take the risk
this, to me
is courage

maybe i'm just talking about frostbite like some romantic wound
or maybe we're in danger, you and i
pressing on into the storm despite numbing fingers
smiles frozen, eyes watery
maybe we'll get frostbite in our hearts
but i think it's worth the risk

At first I was sad.
My world had been utterly torn apart.
By myself.
I had accidentally turned my life into a nightmare.

There was endless sorrow in each feeling
Each hope.
Each thought.
I felt like a *******.

I was a *******.

But I got over my misery.
And sadness was replaced by anger.
I was furious with everyone.
Especially with myself.

I was ******* about the fact that
I was so full of pity for myself.
I was mad
Because I was so weak.

I still am.

But I've gotten over myself now.
Truly abandoned the rancor that used to make my blood boil.
All that is left in me now is melancholia.

The what ifs.
The predictions of what could have been if I had done things differently.
And it pains me to say this.

But I miss her.

I miss that girl that was so loyal
So full of joy
So sympathetic
And so understanding.

I miss those midnight talks we used to have.
That sudden bursts of laughter.
The crap we got from adults
Because we were in our own private world.

We had lots of things in common.
She made me laugh my *** of.
She trusted me.
I trusted her.

And I murdered our friendship.

I regret it.
I really do.
All I got in exchange was a wet kiss
From a boy who didn't even love me.

I did love him.
But that's another story to tell.
I told her to believe in my word.
And I consciously broke my promise.

I so regret it.
But there's no going back.
The wound will never heal.
And our bond is long lost in time.

But I do have my memories.
And I keep them lovingly in my heart.
For I didn't mean to hurt you.
I really meant no harm.

Fire burns through me.
Can't keep it in any longer.
Parted lips find exposed skin.
All too eager, so much younger.

Anxious and willing
I consume myself in his arms.
Passion is a powerful emotion.
Claws leaving scars behind.

Not once a rational thought
Popped into my mind.
Cause I was too busy
Too inspired.
*Too high.

I bet that as soon as you read the title you thought this was going to be a non-stop ramble about a boyfriend or whatever. Well, it's not.

This poem (lets just say it is one), is about the one girl who helped me get on my feet every time I fell to the ground. Hard.

It's about a person so amazing that it pains me to watch her hurting over some unworthy *******.
It's about a beautifully damaged soul. Her moods swing from one to another pretty fast, he loves to sing 80' songs and cuddle with her cat Connie.
She loves poetry and respects artistic expressions.
She is my role model as she tries to always do the right thing.
She treats everyone fairly and sympathizes with every living creature.
She makes me feel better about myself and puts everyone else's needs before hers.
She may be struggling with some serious ****, but she'll always have time for her friends.
She is loyal and loving.
She is all I'd ever wanted in a friend.

She is perfect to me.

We are still working on that part, though.
She doesn't believe me when I tell her she's flawless.
I really think she is.
Inside out.

Someday she'll realize that I'd been telling the truth this whole time.
Someday she'll appreciate her long eyelashes, harmonious voice and cute curly hair.
Someday she'll wake-up and say:
HEY, I'M A HELL OF AN INDIVIDUAL!

She's my teacher.
My mother.
My sister.
My best friend.
My everything.

Thank you for everything, really. Every secret you kept for me, every inside-joke, every muffled laugh at class, every singing voice note, every poem, every midnight talk, every smile, every shed tear, every movie we watched together. Thank you for just being you, for letting me see your true self. Thank you.

**I love you so ******* much.

I believe this world
will forever try to test our love
misfortune, anger and hatred
it tests us with all of the above

trying to strain us
see if it can make us want to depart
seeing if our love is real
if emotions can erode our hearts

it throws whatever it has at us
trying to break down this young boy and girl
but hates when we realize we can't be beat
cause baby, its me and you versus this world

and we won't be beat

The reason that I smile
The reason that I kiss
You not being with me
Is the reason I'll always miss

For without you,
the dark night sky is darker then ever, the sun shines alittle less
and the stars seem alittle less dazzling. I need the twinkle in your eye,
the shine in your smile
and the beauty in your eyes
to help brighten my world

Tonight
the stars shined bright
and the moon
was picture perfect too
but nothing beat the view
I had laying next to you