the scent of you would be my favorite perfume. I'd walk to your doorstep,
as early as two. Because I want to feel that indescribable feeling. I wan't to be with you.

and it's not *** or desire that I'm looking for. it's the warmth from your hair, the fire from the blanket we both share.

but for now, I can only absorb my dreams. Pretend it's my only reality. only. why can't it be? See the struggle that is approaching me?

Your hands caress my skin as if I am the most delicate of flowers,
and your mouth retrieves the nectar from within.
You consistently lock eyes with me and express your love so willingly.
That you are so determined to give sweet love to me.
That you promise to do what God intended passionately.
And with that, my temple is yours.
Every motion, every ****** validates this for me.
The rhythm we create arouses me.
You leave marks on the most obvious of places so the world knows you've explored my canvas like Columbus.
Navigating your way from my neck to my inner thigh.
Moments so divine that I still get chills like the coldest day of winter simply thinking of the time we've shared.
And for some reason, you hold my body like you'll never see me again.
Maybe because it's clear that there's someone else.
I know this because at the break of dawn, the only thing I feel with my eyes closed and my naked body buried underneath these sheets with your presence all over me is the warmth of your body disappearing.
Maybe it isn't love. I'll assume that it was never meant to be.
Even with the sweet nothings whispered in my ear and
the vivid memories of you fondling me.
Every single time, you quietly say that you have to go, apologize for the mess you made and you're sorry about leaving.
The ****** escapade you were dying to experience doesn't suffice.
The look in your eyes says enough.
My body you so desperately wanted to see has done no justice if you leave when the sun begins to rise.
I wonder when I will hear the creak from my bedroom door once more, and your heavy footsteps going across my floor.
I wonder if you'll be reminded of how vacant this space has been without you, and how much my body yearns for more rounds with yours.
Sure enough, the next night you realize it was time to start over.
Time to give you exactly what you need.
I guess I confused lust with love making.
*21914

I 've been up since 7:00 AM.
The time has flown,
It's raining and somber outside.
A day easy to ignore.
It's nearing now 5:00 PM
I sit here yet in my Bathrobe,
As I have done all day long.
Never did that before.

I apologize to no one,
Not even myself. It was not
Sloth or depression inspired,
It was an overpowering need
For massive doses of Poetry
That caught and held my attention.

Passion or obsession, who is to judge?
And what truly is the difference?

Depression is being so tired every minute of every day
that finding the energy to get out of bed is taxing.
Depression is not wanting to be around people you know you love
because the thought of explaining how you are really doing is heartbreaking.
Depression is drowning in an ocean of your thoughts
while everyone around you scolds you because you should ‘know how to swim.’
Depression is being so confused as to why you feel the way you do
because everyone declares that happiness is a choice you have to choose to make.
Depression is avoiding even looking in the mirror
because you’ve surpassed the point of self-hate.
Depression is being stranded on an island and having the tools to signal for help
but not being able to read the language of the instructions on the label.
Depression is being surrounded by people who love you
but feeling completely alone and unloved.

If I can unwind
the strings of your heart
and pull them until
your heart pulls apart
and looks like a nest
blown down from a tree
then I will say yes
if you still want to be.  x

In your wake you leave naught but destruction and pain
Hurting those around you but all in vain
Why you do though I do not know
All I am knowledgeable about is you will not slow
By doing the things that you do
You make people begin to resent you
By saying the things that you say
You force people to stay away
You hurt the ones I love
By doing this you feel above
Everyone that you see
While they all say you cannot be
The person they used to know
They all believe you have begun show
Your true colors and they are not bright
Some of them think you a blight
When you tell people things that are not true
They begin to wonder what did they do
When show what you have wrought
They begin to wonder why they have not
Pushed you out of their mind
Because even though they used you like you
You have been all but kind
When I think of what I’ve seen
It does not leave my mind
When I think of who you are
I think of how it would be
If I had my one car
You can just not see
How I would drive far away
You just do not know
That I would not come back any day
How far I would go
To get away from you
You just don’t understand
How much I would like to never do
The things I can’t stand
That you want me to do
I just can see
What do I need to do?
What do you want from me?
How can I please you?
How can I get you to know?
Those things that happened when I was there
Those terrible things I cannot show
The things I saw I just want out of my hair
I saw the light as it was leached
Out of his eyes
His eyes looked bleached
You may think it is lies
But this image is not out of my mind
The thought of how I could not stop him
The monster that at first was kind
How I swore that I would I would not be like him
But we are two in the same mind
The way my time there changed me
It has changed my life
Not only mentally but physically
Well thanks to all of the rife
And all of the your selfishness
With you with my blood pressure I may have a heart attack
These are the reasons for my quietness
Because now I am an insomniac