Pale
Moon
Complete
Soft

Resting
Quietly
In
Morning sky

Placid
In victory
Illuminator
Of Night

Graceful
Harbinger
Of
New dawn

Sun
Rising
Golden
Glow

Dazzling
Showing me
How
To stand

I have to win
In the morning

To live out
My mission
Noble
Proud

I was supposed to die the other year
I was in a dead end
The flowers withered
My soul stopped dreaming
Most nights I cried
Walked with bad ideas in the morning
Everything stopped
I hated my own heartbeat
Why was it beating so loud
I wanted to shut it off
I was alone and lonely

My parents didn't notice
My friends thought I was crazy
I wasn't crazy, I was lost
I didn't reach out to anyone
I didn't drink
I didn't smoke
I didn't get high
Everything was black
I wanted to scream
But the voices were louder than my thoughts
I could hear death

Scared to go on with my life
Happiness was never a word
It was just pure fantasy
But I gave it a shot
Just one more year
Let's see if I could make it
Just one more year
Try to ignore the voices
I reminded myself
Everyday, just one more year

The part of my heart that you'd have taken

I know it still there hanging around with your vein

You're the first guy who queened me in numbered days

O God, is this feeling not supposed to be felt?

Maybe you don't remember me again

And live happily overthere absenting my name

But in my universe, you're immortal

But forget me if it makes you better

When the time comes, we will delete each other

As we did for someone came earlier

Have a nice day, my lover



A damp heart in a damp room, 2017. 07:33.

-edited in Aug 2018-

“Once more unto the breach,” echoes from within.

Cast away your anxious thoughts, don’t let negativity breed within your skin

Only positivity from here on out, a new strategy for an old plan

You are the decider of your future, you are the eye of the beholder, will this break you or make you?

Only you will tell, though you are a quiet soul

Soak up the rays of the sun

Let the light fuel you in the hardest times

Remember what it feels like

For you are the quiet warrior, blood of your demons stains your sword

A savage for the good of all

Ghosts of the past invade gentle nightfall

Remember how you conquered, never faltered, and smile

The past can only persuade you to try harder, your demons are only your fodder

“Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more,” gently slips through your lips

Your next war draws nigh; Blood drips from fingertips

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.

valley mountains high,
cattle there to serve us,
rugged men are men,
sheep are very nervous,

megan's dentures in a jar,
pug face snoring porker,
drove llambo to his wellies,
the mountain mutton stalker.

valley commandos camouflage dress,
headband, wellies, wooly string vest,
llambo llewellyn up to the test,
heads for the hills searching his quest.

english may laugh,
and label us sinners,
while we **** sheep,
they eat them for dinners.

.
Its 2 am and I am so wired.
Why can't I just be normally tired?
As others enjoy some restful sleep,
I am in a place far more deep.....

And the abyss calls so inviting,
          a leap into the unknown and beyond.
With clarity I jump out and fly,
          an excuse for reality to quietly abscond.

Psychedelic nausea as the dimensions twist,
forcing me to a place where I do not exist,
a land in which I may be killed or kissed,
but certain my presence would not be missed.

The feelers take a hold of me,
     whispering secrets of antiquity,
revealing images of aeons gone,
     in spoken word, rhyme and song.
I have the histories of many worlds
     all in my mind strung up like pearls.
A line of lanterns alight once more,
     open and willing for me to explore.
And my pale blue eyes no longer see
     the images created by any reality.

It is secret knowledge of ancient times,
I receive in the script of cryptic rhymes.


© Pagan Paul (09/08/18)

I was about running for safety
when she said she love me
what is love?
on this my empty pockets
her onkempt hair and hungry eyes
i knew she was a spider

though my heart is deaf
Igbo love is costlier in the market
how-come this Yoruba lady
money in the morning, money clockwise
there is no juice left in me lady,
your web had caught nothing
and your tricks I've known.