she loves me
she loves me not

she is the color of sunbeams
and minty toothpaste

i am the color of nighttime forests
and sawdust from a two-by-four

i cannot afford to keep her
any more than i can myself

even the dirt beneath my fingernails
is too much for me

my hands pass through sunbeams
without any questions

forests are cut down
and there is no place
for the sunlight to sink

she painted my arms
with The Starry Night
and now my palms
are coated in cracking acrylic skies

i haven't tasted gum drops in years
yet one balances on my tongue
teetering instead of sticking

i survive on coffee
and pine needled trees

she consumes
southern honeysuckle
and polished crystals

i am a melted candle

she is a bundle of rosemary

picking painted prom dresses
even though a suit
would suit me better

she is perfection

she loves me
she loves me not

i left the remnants
of my disappointment
in the collar
of my favorite
shirt

there for the universe
to find

the tie
became a noose
choking out any last hope
i had
for redemption

and i shredded
the jeans which
illuminated
my hips and thighs

my stomach
will not play nice
for as i taunt it
it screams vindictively

i hid the anguish
under my fingernails
until they had to be clipped
and then there was
nowhere

and so i curled
into a ball
in the coldest of oceans
waiting for the heat
of a volcano
to swallow
me up

but the volcano
won't come

i've been waiting
for a long time

and the warmth
just isn't there

my chest aches
still

you would think the cold
would have numbed it
by now