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I feel like my inspiration to write is dying
the less I am crying at night
I know this probably doesn't sound right
but I can't shake this lack of inspiration
the feeling of it dying
everyday and every night.

Why?

i don’t know why i tried,
said what i said,
or do what i do.
being with him was pointless
he doesn’t make me feel the way i should,
loved that is
it won’t matter in the end
because it’s no secret i know he feels it too,
us breaking in two
—an excerpt from the book i’ll never write
C.T.

I didn’t know how crazy you could make me, until you left me with a broken heart and tears running down my face popping pills like they were balloons and i was an eager child.
I didn’t know how emotionally attached i was to you until you told me you were leaving me and you said “you can’t do anything to please me”.
I didn’t know how we could possibly end when this was just our beginning how we could start this life and stop it right in its tracks.
I didn’t know how leaving could be so easy for you when all i did was try to make life easier for you.
I didn’t know how to tell you my feelings so i bottled them up thinking you could hear me screaming, begging, and pleading.
I didn’t know.
-C.T.