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Chanel Tatum Jan 2018
Suicide- 1-800-273-8256
Bullying- 1-800-420-1479
Self Harm- 1-800-DONT-CUT
Teen Help- 1-877-332-7333
Domestic Violence- 1-800-799-7233
****/****** Assault- 1-800-656-4673
Lifeline- 1-800-784-8433
Grief Support- 1-650-321-3438
Depression- 1-630-482-9696
Drug/Alcohol- 1-877-235-4525
Eating Disorders- 1-630-577-1330
Homeless/Runaway- 1-800-RUNAWAY
Mental Health- 1-800-442-4673
Sexuality- 1-800-246-7743
You are not alone; get help if you need it. I love each and every one of you so so so so so much!
Chanel Tatum Jan 2018
my mom asks
why i play my music so loud
i tell her i can’t hear it in the shower,
that’s my way of telling her to listen
to the lyrics, to the tone, to the sorrow
she tells me to clean my ears
i reply with the same thing,
no one understands,
silence is violent
to people
like me.
Chanel Tatum Jan 2018
people tell me they love how raw my poems are
but as soon as i step out from behind the keyboard
i’m instantly called a ***** for expressing myself
i’ve been called the ice queen
my father agrees
but my mother only asks when i’ll thaw out
i tell her that ice remains as long as the surroundings are colder
others tell me i have an old soul
maybe i just believe in the things unseen
the things between the lines
the tears behind every poem i write are
unseen and will forever remain behind the scenes

—a run-on poem because it’s 1:52 A.M. and i can’t focus
              —Chanel Tatum
i struggle to keep up with myself at times
right now is one of those times.
i can’t write, i think, and i can’t focus.
not even on me.
Chanel Tatum Jan 2018
I didn’t know how crazy you could make me, until you left me with a broken heart and tears running down my face popping pills like they were balloons and i was an eager child.
I didn’t know how emotionally attached i was to you until you told me you were leaving me and you said “you can’t do anything to please me”.
I didn’t know how we could possibly end when this was just our beginning how we could start this life and stop it right in its tracks.
I didn’t know how leaving could be so easy for you when all i did was try to make life easier for you.
I didn’t know how to tell you my feelings so i bottled them up thinking you could hear me screaming, begging, and pleading.
I didn’t know.
-C.T.
Chanel Tatum Dec 2017
“why are you afraid?” he asked.

“i’m afraid of losing you to another girl who can give you things i can’t. she’ll be thinner, prettier, and better, everything i’m not. and i know i’m trying so hard to be everything i can for you, it’s just not working. i’m so scared of someone coming and taking you away knowing i am not up for competition.” she replied.
-A.M.
Chanel Tatum Dec 2017
you were enough for me,
but I would never be enough for you,
and accepting that means I am free.
I don’t want freedom, I want you.
Chanel Tatum Dec 2017
Why?

i don’t know why i tried,
said what i said,
or do what i do.
being with him was pointless
he doesn’t make me feel the way i should,
loved that is
it won’t matter in the end
because it’s no secret i know he feels it too,
us breaking in two
—an excerpt from the book i’ll never write
C.T.

— The End —