Cindy Long

Sep 2018

solfang

grief//love

how grieving
can a heartbreak be,
till one swears off love
completely?

I hate rainy seasons— those are the times when I think of the love that never happened.

#grief #heartbreak #love #swear #off #crush #heartache #pain #rain #together

Sep 2018

avaseia

unknown

it was pulling me in,
suffocating me,
caging me,
swallowing me,
destroying me.

the shards of solitary slowly pierced my soul,
the torment comforting me, caressing me.
if my hollowness was deliberately engulfing me
the way you let me drown in an ocean full of uncertainty
then i guess kissing death's chapped lips would make me feel the sense of being alive.

Cindy Long Sep 2018

I know

I want to hold you
Touch you
Oh how I long to feel you
Get under your skin
To breathe you in
God, just be close to you

You dont have to say it
I already know
It's so hard not to want you
I do, though I'm not supposed to

I see you struggle
And I know it's my fault
I know I need to go
But your eyes beg me to stay
You take my breath away
I say I know. I can't, I wont.
And yet I still do.

You dont have to say it
I already know
It's so hard not to want you
I do, though I'm not supposed to

I need inside you
Confide in you
I need to kiss you
I just ******* need to
I know I know I know
We can't be
Why can't you see that-

You dont have to say it
You really don't.
I already know
God, I know.
It's so hard not to want you
I do, you know I do.
Though I'm not supposed to

Tell me you don't want me
I dont-
Liar.
Tell me you don't need me, crave me
****-
God, I'm trying
I'm fighting not to
But I see you in everything
Anything
And it's-
You blow my ******* mind and
I KNOW
We're not supposed to
And yet here we are
Cursing your name
MOTH TO THE FLAME

You dont have to say it
I already know
It's so hard, so hard, so hard, so-

YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE
MY ONLY SUNSHINE
YOU MAKE ME HAPPY
WHILE SKIES ARE GREY
AND YOU'LL NEVER KNOW DEAR
HOW MUCH I LOATHE YOU
BUT STILL DONT TAKE MY SUNSHINE AWAY.
You are my sunSHINE
My only sunSHINE
You'll never know dear
How much I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU.
Though I'm not supposed to.

Sep 2018

A Marie

**** your ego

this face is not Your face
these hands are not Your hands
Your hips are not your hips
so why are They here?

disconnected
ear, knee, toe, elbow
are they Yours?

body and mind
unaligned

where actually are You?

where am I?
not here

yet not completely absent
I'm in this body that is mine
but not

but if not
then who, where, what, how?
how am I
If not in this body of mine?

#ego #disassociation #questioning #body

Sep 2018

Buried Words

Think

'Coward', I hold my blade.
'*****', The tears fall.
'Useless', The blade moves.
'Unwanted', The blood drips.
'**** Yourself', The cuts deepen.
Oxygen stops reaching my lungs.
Think Before You Speak.

Cindy Long Sep 2018

Loves not wrong

You crumbled and I tumbled on
******* you
And you coaxed me along
Thrusting and cussing and lifelessly I clung
**** girl
I cried out, lovesick at the way you made me ***
The aftershocks strangled and I was mangled
Oh, God
The taste of you on my tongue
With heavy breath you kissed my death
Til soft and sore I hung
Fighting and freeing and decrying we were so young
But even so our love was never wrong
It was never wrong

Sep 2018

Semicolon

Please listen

Hey mom-dad, listen.
Hit me, hate me, throw me out,
But don't shut me up.

My dear mom, my dear dad,
Please listen to me talk.
You're the place where I can unveil myself and be true to who I am.
You're the place where I can pour my heart out and expect to be heard.
You're the place I want to spend my life talking and being heard.
Please don't tell me to shut up
Because I talk too much,
Because no one likes what I speak,
Because I talk *******,
Because no one would listen to me,
Because I need to stay silent sometimes,
Because nobody likes the stories I have to tell,
Please don't tell me to shut up,
Just because that's what I need to do.
Listen to me.
Please.

#parents #please #listen #talk #shut #up #express #sad #haiku #semicolon