The seeker seeks for a treasure,
His treasure.
When he finds it, he lays his life to get it.
Though there are several thousand treasures all around him,
He yearns for one.
His body and soul are bound to its way,
Making not him seek the treasure, but it seeking him.

If a small heart refused to be lighted
I won't weep down again and grounded
Let me swing down the stream
Living actual scene than a dream

I forget the need for physical contact
Then it comes
Like a rain
d
  r
    o
      p
On my cheek, after a long, dry summer in the desert
And then the thirst,
the thristthristthristthrist
For the other
thristthristthristthrist
To be wanted, wanted, loved and loved
thristthristthristthrist
To be part of the world like all the others
To be part of the cycle of life
Around which I only turn around,
Trying to find my way
*in

often I think i can force the words from my throat
push past the floodgates and fix this drought
but they stick behind my teeth
breathed out - rearranged, changed - back in.
the hollow of my throat holds a thousand tragedies,
a thousand miracles, it births thoughts like colliding stars
and yet they will crawl around my mouth, humming,
a lungful of bees that sting and sting and sting
my thesaurus brain cannot find the right mixture
of vowels and consonants and breaks in sentences
to give justice to what blossoms within me
they say silence speaks volumes
and I have been shouting mutedly all my life.

We laid there
In silence
I could feel your pain
I could feel your hurt
You called it numb
You were lying
I held you
I watched you
I could see your heartbeat on your neck
It was slow
Mine was fast
I knew what was coming
I knew you couldn't say it
So I asked you
"Is this what you need?"
"What?" You replied
You knew
I knew
We both knew
"I know this is what you want but it is what you need?"
You were honest
You need to take care of yourself
So do I
I understand
It still hurts
But I understand
I got a lump in my throat
My chest got tight
"I don't want to hurt you"
Your sweet words struck right through me
"I'm not mad"
"I get it"
I knew you couldn't say it
That's why I asked
I walk you out
And it's freezing
But I needed that hug
That hug meant so much
You make me go inside because I'm shivering
I don't think it's from the cold
I look back
"Can I kiss you?"
You let me
You drive home
"Hey I'm home"
I'm glad yourself
I'm not
I'm not safe from myself
Everything is blurry
I never expected this
I never expected it to hurt like this

Who knew someone could break your heart in 13 days?

At least I'll win the bet...
I don't wanna win
I want you

a.a.

I want you to paint me,
and leave your mark.
Use my skin as your canvas,
Make me your work of art.

I want you to draw on me,
make me your personal sketch.
Using implements as pencils,
With each mark that you etch.

I want you to colour me,
in your signature shade.
Rosey pink with crimson red,
Then bid it not to fade.

I want you to hurt me,
as only you can do.
Make me pay for your misfortunes,
Tell me i deserve it too.

I want you to punish me,
show me you’re not weak.
Dispose of your bad luck,
Make my pain your winning streak.

I don’t know how to love you,
if you don’t hurt me too.
I don’t know how to treat you.
I will end up hurting you!

I am red or blue,
silver or black
and you see purple and gray
I can be a liar,
I can be the biggest fault,
Knocking houses down
Maybe I get what I want,
But like an empty loft
I echo with footsteps
Even when they're soft
But never when you're there
You soak me up
You were never a quitter
And I'll fight all night
Because like you, I'm not

I chose to be happy
To smile with no regrets

I chose to be witty
To be valiant and not to hate

I chose to move
To turn and not to look back
again

but memories go  strong
as time choose to run
when yesterday now ends
I wipe to reminisce again

And there,
at the end of the day
I still choose
to cry
again.