ophelia: Poems

Feb 2022 · 122

Untitled

ophelia Feb 2022

Untitled

Eight year old me cries out for me
Fourteen year old me gives me the best bus routes to purposely get lost so i wouldn’t have to go home.
Seventeen year old me stares blankly at the family wall, wishing she did well raising her siblings.
Twenty Two year old me comforts me, singing the lullabies i begged to hear when I was five.
but now; Twenty year old me is begging that she can hold down the fortress just a little longer.

Apr 2020 · 117

unsend

ophelia Apr 2020

unsend

if instagram did not let you know
that someone unsent a message

i would unsend the last text i sent you
just so you remember me as lovely
not bitter.

Apr 2020 · 99

hand of a lover; darken room

ophelia Apr 2020

hand of a lover; darken room

the hand of a lover
caressing your cheek
in a darken room
only to learn
the hand of a lover
caressing your cheek
in a darken room

was only your loneliness
ready to consume.

Apr 2020 · 85

shakespearean love

ophelia Apr 2020

shakespearean love

I always thought Romeo and Juliet were overrated
What kind of lover would die for the other
The gullible beautiful girl to fall
for such a mesmerizing ****?
My breath was not held when Shakespeare wrote
“ O happy dagger, / This is thy sheath “
For what kind of woman who would **** her self over a man

I was raised to know my worth,
to **** every inch of self respect up
I would not die for any lover
and live only for myself

I always thought Romeo and Juliet were overrated
until I had met a lover
my heart soars with sonnets
my lips speak love letters
I would have gladly swept her from any harm
the only mesmerizing **** was my vile tongue
convincing me love was not a shakespearean play

Apr 2020 · 2.8k

Oh, Ophelia.

ophelia Apr 2020

Oh, Ophelia.

Oh Ophelia,
My Sweet, Ophelia
She who tastes like huckleberries
and smells like wild cherries.

Oh Ophelia,
My Sweet, Ophelia
She who loves to bathe in the lagoon
and dry in the mid sun afternoon.

Oh Ophelia
My Sweet, Ophelia
She who could not bear her fathers death
and took her last breath.

Oh Ophelia
My Sweet Ophelia
She who drowned in her lagoon
and the earth shall never hear her tune.

Oh Ophelia
My Sweet Ophelia
She who loved deep
and now she is asleep.

Oh Ophelia
My Tragic, Ophelia.
She who is incapable of her own distress
and I, must confess.

Oh Ophelia
You, are Tragedy.

#poetry #love #tragedy

Apr 2020 · 74

loneliest feeling

ophelia Apr 2020

loneliest feeling

love is the loneliest feeling in the world
it makes me feel lonely
it makes me sit at a coffee shop in agony
aware of the fast paced world around me
no matter how much i try to reach out
it will never be close enough
no one will ever be close enough
i am lonely in love
even being alone,
is better than being with a lover and feeling
totally, alone.

just a letter to me, who is deeply terrified of love

Apr 2020 · 65

yours, mine

ophelia Apr 2020

yours, mine

i was yours
i always thought i would be yours
i believed i would be yours

i was not yours
i thought wrong,
i know not a thing of beliefs

for i am not yours
and am on a negative scale
i do not have beliefs,

for you are not mine
you were mine, long after i was not yours
you did not attend church of truth; no beliefs
you did not have an unbalanced scale

you were mine
nine months of pure love
or so i thought; i thought wrong
i had beliefs and truths

i wish you were never mine
for you have made me believe solemnly
that i am always wrong,
i am unworthy

Apr 2020 · 54

caged bird, the icarus

ophelia Apr 2020

caged bird, the icarus

for i will never fly
i am an icarus of my time
i am melting.

#poetry

Apr 2020 · 78

fleeting youth

ophelia Apr 2020

fleeting youth

i have come to realize,
one day there will be a final curtain call on Youth,

and that,

the clouds that present themselves as mountains,
on the horizon of colourful life,

are to far for a mortal to touch,
to grasp and to hold,

for the youth that is holding me now;

will soon be like the clouds that possess, themselves as mountains,

on the horizons of life.

for my youth,
will soon be too far to reach,

and that the horizon of colourful life,
will soon be a wretched black sky,

for my youth, is not for me to hold forever.

i have come to realize weeks before my eighteenth birthday that life is fleeting from my hands and that it is a scary experience to go through life knowing you cannot change your memories of ur youth, that it is temporary

#poetry #love #imagery

Mar 2019 · 1.1k

I love you, but not the way people think

ophelia Mar 2019

I love you, but not the way people think

I could never love you,

the way people think I can

I love you in many ways,

complex ways, simple ways, hard ways

but never the way people think I can.

I love you as much as the universe loves her stars,

I love you as much as the rain hitting your bare skin.

but never in the way people think I can.

They think I can only love someone

lightly, softly, friendly, platonically

I love you as Alexander the Great loved Hephaestion.

Secretly, deeply, intensely.

This was originally supposed to be a haiku, now, i think it's a free verse but, to my knowledge i can't remember the correct term.
This poem is about a love that is secret and of the same gender, that is all I will explaok

#freeverse #love #gay #overthink #alexanderthegreat #passionate #secret #deeplove

Mar 2019 · 1.0k

A haiku of a past lover

ophelia Mar 2019

A haiku of a past lover

I have loved you so,
though i am an icarus
flying to close, dear.

I flew to close, my dear

#haiku #love #hopelessness #icarus #heartbroken #brokenheart #unloved #whyme

Mar 2019 · 572

On nights like these

ophelia Mar 2019

On nights like these

On nights like these,

I question, the way I am,
I question, the way these are,
I question, the people around me.

On nights like these,

I feel, the pain of the past
I feel, the bitterness of the present
I feel, the scared uncertainty of the future.

On nights like these,

I see, the trauma I was put through,
I see, the distance I put between loved ones
I see, the way people "love" me.

On nights, like these.

I wrote of this poem right now. It was my raw and first thought during one of my really bad episodes. Unedited and raw. I did not think while writing, I just did what i felt. The way writing should be.

#sad #depression #anxiety #scared #comfort #nights

Jun 2018 · 428

battling a losing battle

ophelia Jun 2018

battling a losing battle

Dimly lit bedrooms ,
tick, tick, ticking of the digital clock
Any outsider looking in would’ve thought i was insane.

Screaming into my pillows, begging for it to stop
the angonizing interal pain bursting at the seams of my body

I am my own coffin, my own cause of death.
My head is an occupied battleground, fighting a fight that i will continuously lose.
Bloodshed of calming memories replaced with overthinking thoughts.
Bang Bang Banging on my chest.
At the end of the wave, the battleground is empty, countless memories slained.
There is only one sound;
a drained body weeping.

For the breakdown i had last night, i wrote this i attempt to get my feelings out.

#anxiety #depression #exhausted #im #tired

Jun 2018 · 487

Letters to my anxiety

ophelia Jun 2018

Letters to my anxiety

Dear anxiety,
I remember when i first met you. So bright and innocent, I was. The loud voices of my parents arguing had my heart pounding, worrying; overthinking.

Dear anxiety,
Our second encounter; band class. I remember clearly, you had me gasping for my own breath; i thought i was dying.
I realized, since then, you will never leave. You will be walking the same line as me, for the rest of my life.

Dear anxiety,
When I entered my last year of junior high, you had gotten yourself a lover, depression. At that time, I thought you were going to go away, stop clinging to me. You never did.
I had forgotten what happiness felt like. If it wasn’t you, it was depression. If it wasn’t you, it was the lack of sleep from staying up till 3 am, crying, begging.
Now, I do not get sleep, I can’t seem to find that innocence i had, when i first met you, but yet, i still find comfort in your touch.
With love,
lia .

#anxiety

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