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...
...
Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl
It feeds on loneliness and creates a void
Gray shadows haunt and torment and torture
A teenager is stricken and destroyed

There is no sound of laughter or happiness here
The little one has thrown in the towel today
Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul
It is futile to hope and dream and pray

Emptiness builds a home in this woman
In this girl, this child where hollows have bred
A deepening sea of nowhereness consumes
And eats away at every connecting thread

Confusion feeds like a savage inside her,
Leaving nothing considered worthy remains
Destined to walk through life less ordinary
Alone, exiled, different and disdained.
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He left and didn't come back.
A special smile,
A special face,
A special someone i cannot replace.
I love you and I always will.
You've filled a space no-one else has filled.

A bell
Is not a bell
Until you ring it.

A song
Is not a song
Until you sing it.

Love in my heart
Was not
Put there to stay

Love
Is not love
Until you give it away.
It's six in the morning,
I'm thinking about so many things.
I have to face the fact
That life will never be the same.
Everyone's always yelling, and
No one's ever there for me.
I have no one to talk to,
That's gonna drive me insane.
Knocking the security door with a powerful blow of love,
The door is secured with a key and a pass word,
Daddy holds the key and the mummy keeps the secret code,
You are waiting just outside my heart, raising the bonfire,
For me to steal the key and retrieve the password,
To let you in, so you can feel my warmth, my tempting desire,
Leave me alone and my mind’s signals are haywire,
save me from this temptation caused by this persisting thief.
A single tear glides down my cheek.
It's warning me that I am bout to weep.
We used to dance, just me and him.
I felt, like I said something to win.
Then he fell, and he took me down too.
I turned around and let out a cry.
You lied, I thought you were all mine.

A single tear, slides down my cheek.
I swallow it
I do not weep.
I will be strong
Life will go on
*Tears
One does not own beauty,
One creates it.
In their dreams
They feel they can obtain it.

All alone, in a dark nights
rest.
All their thoughts.....
Lifeless.

Cursed by change
Hidden by lies,
Running from the truth
Beauty now dies.

They don't understand
They don't really care.
Beauty now burns
Smoke in the air.

Years go by
And age seeps in.
Beauty's worn out
Life is giving in.

Death creeps up,
Beauty now cries.
You're all alone
In your beautiful lies!
They watch the world,
with open eyes.
They haunt the world,
with an open mind.
They see you move,
as you live in this world.

But behind these walls,
lies a deep dark universe.
One where the light can't shine through.
A world where they lurk,
they play and hide.
Behind these walls, there's a world inside.

If you dare to look,
or even hear.
Go ahead face your fear.
You'll join this world,
one cruel day.
So sad it'll be...
But they can't hear you say...!

Behind these walls,
lies a deep dark universe!
One where the light can't shine through!
A world where they lurk,
and play and hide...
Behind these walls, there's a world inside.....
Blood dripping from my fingers
Blood dripping onto my feet
Blood slipping through my fingers
From the once live carcass
Laying in front of me
The body, dismembered, battered and bruised
Hair ripped and on the floor next to me
My clothes are bloodstained
Ripped, tattered and torn
The knife on the floor next to me
The blade stained with crimson
Lifeblood which was once the carcasses
Own.
The blood. Pooling at the bottom of the table
And do you want to know the most important thing?
Your next.
My fears are unnatural, the opposite is actual.
I can't help but relate, what i'm feeling is factual.
This world it seems so political and oh so practical.
So i'll remain spiritual, levitating and defying gravity, is this a miracle?

Could it be insanity from our citizens understanding of history?
All we know is vanity, there's no mystery to humanity,
so where lies victory amidst this calamity?


I'd be ****** if it's not in deity, as I write this poem or while listening to the 9th symphony.
Understanding subliminal messages in paintings as more than creativity.

Original activism has always been artistic fashion.
Infinite wisdom passed through the subconscious with a passion.


Bullets and blades can't **** ideas that would last forever.
I pray to see the day when we overcome these differences together,
with peace or whether or not it takes the apocalypse to stop the Devil.
Till my body is deceased and a spirit in heaven.

This I perceive in our near presence, judgment day is ours to face,
But never to deceive from those that choose or have chose to read all from which I have wrote.
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Sometimes I need my space to navigate,
and your here patiently waiting,
To see what I find.

Even MY scars, they burst
Sending my pain, throughout the earth.
We have a lot to learn.
Do you think i'm worth it?
There's this thing,
I hardly ever had.
Deceitful, un-trusting
These words describe my dad.

I hardly ever see him,
Because he is tucked away
"I'm coming home!"
Oh please, I hear that **** everyday!
They put me in the oven to bake.
Me a deprived and miserable cake.
Feeling the heat I started to bubble.
Watching the others I knew I was in trouble

They opened the door and I started my life.
Frosting me with a silver knife.
Decorating me with candy jewels.
The rest of my batch looked like fools.

Lifting me up, she took off my wrapper.
Feeling the breeze, I wanted to slap her.
Opening her mouth with shiny teeth inside.
This was the day this cupcake had died.
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There is nothing but darkness in my heart.
And only you can fix that.
The darkness spreads from here to there.
You saw me fall and you caught me.

My scars, they burst.
I sent my pain through out the earth.
You stitched up my scars and taught me how to love again.

I never tell you how much you're appreciated.
I beyond grateful to have you in my life.
You slowly **** my pain.
Lost and insecure, you found me.
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Did you love me?
You would gently caress your hand across my face
Not punch me over and over again begging for you to stop
Did you love me?
You would run your hands lovingly thru my hair
Not grab it with your fist and pull it and throw me done
Did you love me?
To wipe the tears from my eyes and tell me I'm here for you
Not to tell me to shut up cry baby and kick me
Did you love me?
You would look into my eyes and tell me how special I am to you
Not say harsh words and spit into my face
Did you love me?
I loved you
But not the monster I saw last night, you were someone else
Did you love me?
You keep on looking
Down the same ole path
I guess
The distance made you feel free
Keep your head down, and
Make it too me

You're the drug
That gets me through life
Your  eyes
Looked like a new beginning

You chose to be alone
You have a fickle heart, and
A bitterness
It's time to choose

Everytime you stay,
The world starts making sense to me!
When you go away,
I wanna scream till you see...

I don't wanna wait for you
It's you I want,
So stop wasting my time
Oh, it's you I need,
So please make up your mind!
It's time to choose

I don't wanna
Say goodbye to you...
The eyes of terror.
I imagine you in my dreams.
The generosity was unreal.

Ocean wave, I hear them ROAR!
Yet, I am not afraid.
The windows are shot,
There is no one to blame
Feeling down, alone, and empty inside,
Decisions to make, but can't decide,
Hurt from pain of a broken heart,
Days go on as if they are dark,
Looking for happiness, the light to return,
My soul feels empty, deceptive, a burn.
As they lay me down to sleep,
They said my soul, they would keep.
You stole my soul away from the dark
You embellished them with your mark.
There is a forbidden crave.
It is the darkness that keeps me captive.
When I arise from beneath the earth
I will cherish my rebirth.
Escaped from my prisons curse
Revenge will be my hunger and thirst
I will feed on your bones and flesh.
I will take away each and every breath,
'till they are descend
I wish it was me
Instead of her,  
I told you how I felt, but
I guess
What I said, was never heard.

Yes,
I am upset!
Yes,
I am hurt!

What hurts the most
Is that I fell in love
With you, but
You'd never know how  I felt

I know that you're happy now, and
That's all that matters, but
Just seeing you together
It makes me feel sadder
Than i've ever been before, and
I can't take it anymore

To you
Did everything mean nothing?
Well, it meant the world to me!
She feels it everyday.
It is all the same.
It will bring her down, she is the one to blame.

She will try everything to get away from it.
So here she goes again,
She is chasing you down again!
Why does she do this?

So many thought that she can not get out of her head.
She tried to live without him,
But when she did, she felt dead.
She knows what is best for her,
But she wants you instead!

Over and over, over and over.
She will fall for you.
Over and over, over and over.
She tries not to.
I was informed
You have...feelings?
And apparently i've...hurt them?
My bad
My name is the Fire of the Sea.
Burning and cooling in that order.
You'll hide your fears deep inside a grave.
I'll dig deep and ****** you up.


I'll laugh as you burn,
and cry as you cool.
Yes, my actions are oh so cruel

People live to die and die to live
Why don't you go do that.
I surely won't miss you.
Live
For one
Who will die
For you.

Smile
For one
Who will cry
For you.

Fight
For one
Who will  fight
For you.

Love one
Who will love you
More than you!
Time stops
And stands still
Each day
Seems like a year
I'm lost
And can't be found
In this darkness
I lay dying
Cold
Empty
And alone
It holds me down
And won't let go
There is no escaping
it consumes me
until there's nothing left
I may look fine
But on the inside I'm full of death
He held a gun to my head.
"Hand It Over!"
I refused,
He shot me.

You were there, you watched me die.

No tears,
No emotions,
No words.

There was no he
Wait no,
He was you.

No remorse,
You left me there to die.
You turned away,
and never looked back.
I've been broke but I'm not broken.
I'm blinded but I still see.
Yes, My wounds are open, but you won't leave a scar in me.
There was a long long road to get here
and such a brave brave girl, to find
A boy with one to many excuses, one to many lies.
I am surprised, you helped me find the best in me
When I hear a knock on my door the other day,
I opened it to find you staring in my face.
The smell of immortal blood still reverberates, try a coffin just in case.
My body trembles you send shivers down my spine, adrenaline kicks in due to overtime.
Your secrets keep me sick, your lies keep me alive
Snake-eyes every single time, just roll with crooked dice.
I'm on the top and you'll try to bring me down, the type of mist that haunts a hundred year old house.
I wrestle with my fate and shook the hand of doubt, running from my past.
I pray feet don't fail me now!
I lost my god ****** mind,it happens all the time.
I can't believe i'm actually ment to be with you.
Trying to consume, that the drug in me is you, and i'm so high on misery can't you see?smiley
That very first day that we met
It's a feeling I'll never forget.
All the experiences that we've shared,
I knew right away that you were rare.

You see, it's hard to find a someone like you,
Usually they're too good to be true.
Though I should've entered with more ration,
But with you I felt so much passion.

I wish those things had never happened.
It feels as though my love's been abandoned.
All I wanted was to make you happy,
So why is it that I have to feel so ******?

I want nothing more than for us to move on,
But it's so hard now that the trust is gone.
I want to get past this, I really do...
What can I do to make you be true?

My love for you is like an undying flame.
And I once wished for our love to remain.
Do you remember that day, the day that it snowed?
It's the day that I wished for our love to grow.

You hurt me that night, you need to know that you did.
And I need you to know that I can forgive.
But I'm really struggling with trying to forget,
Because I still feel the same as that first day we met.
Every year I grow older
I realized
How old I am
14
13
12
11
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
There will never come a day, that you'll ever hear me say.
I want, or need to be without you.
I'll give you my all
So just hold me, you'll simply control me
Your arms keep away the lonelies
I'll look into your eyes
Just to realize
All I need is you in my life
All I need is you in my life

I'm broke but I'm not broken
I'm blind but I still see
Yes my wounds are open
But you won't leave a scar in me

So just hold me, you'll simply control me
Your arms keep away the lonelies
I'll look into your eyes
Just to realize
All I need is you in my life
All I need is you in my life
I'm not broken
My Spirits' been hurt
So deeply by your actions.
It literally turned me off
Of all other attractions.

You were the one who
Broke down my wall,
Opened my heart to love
Not just to you, but to all.

On a pedestal
I held you up, you
Were what made me live
and never to give up.

What a fool I've become
To trust you to love me
How blind I was, how
Couldn't I see?

You were my world or
so it seems,
When my eyes are closed,
In my dreams.
The innocent were slaughtered
So many years ago
In the town of Bethlehem
Slew by an evil foe
Satan tried to keep The Christ
From entering this age
He used a king named Herod
Who acted on his rage

Satan has another plan
To prevent God's elect
From being born to this world
And fighting him direct
Now he uses abortion
To rid earth of God's dear
Problem is, he's far too late
They are already here

So if you think that ******
Of the unborn is just
Or vote for politicians
Who plant them in the dust
You do the same as satan
In forwarding his plan
False promises of power
Blood money in your hand

Only in the case of ****
Abortion is allowed
To remove unwanted seed
Forced on one by the proud
'Let's make laws to legalize
Bring silence to the wise
Use strong drugs to hypnotize
Whom God has given eyes'

Repent before it's too late
No longer are you snowed
For now your eyes are opened
Because you have been told
'But ah! My ballot's secret
No one will ever know'
Too bad, so sad, you may burn
God knows your very soul
I  always  thought  I  was  insane  for  everything  I  did.
I  realized  that I  am insane  because  I  didn't  go  insane  while  going  through  th­is  insanity.
I  have  two  lives  to  live.
There  are  two  different  worlds,  and I have  no  idea  who  I  am.
Nor  can  I  find  who  I  am.  I  am  lost  with  no  path  to ­ guide  me.
I   have  a   choice  to  make.
Should  I  stay  lost  for  what  seems  like  forever?
Or  should  I start   looking  for  it?
Should  I  start  looking  for  it  so  it  could  guide  me  do­wn  the  right  path?
Where  do  I  belong?
These  steps  that  I  leave  are like  marks   in  the  sand,  they  wash  away.
They   are  lost  forever,  such  as  I.
I  am  Insane!
I can't sleep most of the time
Try to cancel you from my mind
Never liked you that much anyway
Got to try sleep through to Saturday

Can't seem to keep my eyes shut
Can't stop to think about what what what
You said, you said to me when
I lost, I lost you again

Can't make the beat go away
Gotta get me outta this state
I gotta feel the rush on my face

I'm lonely, gotta look for a party
and dance with somebody tonight
Cause I'm lonely, feeling empty inside
Can't you make me feel alive

I-N-S-O-M-N-I-A Can't sleep
I-N-S-O-M-N-I-A Can't sleep

Don't look at me like that
What? You think I'm some kinda maniac
Who was asking for your opinion anyway
It's my life and you don't have a say

Gotta get, get outta this place
Can't stand to look at your face
I'm gonna get lost in the underground
I'll **** you if you follow me around

Can't make the beat go away
Gotta get me outta this day
I gotta feel the rush on my face

I'm lonely, gotta look for a party
and dance with somebody tonight
Cause I'm lonely, feeling empty inside
Can't you make me feel alive
I-N-S-O-M-N-I-A
I can't sleep
Do you know what it is like
To sit alone?
I know I am hated
By everyone I have ever know.

I almost fought
The tears, and
The pain, and
The stuff, but
Everyone knows
Almost is never enough

Eventually we break down, and
Spill how we feel
For you, it is easy
For me, it is a big deal!

You know,
I cry in the shower
That is why I take an hour
I do not even feel at home
In my own home
I know no one love me, and
I know I will always be alone
Even at home,
I sit alone!

At night,
I cannot sleep
The words you say
They cut me deep
They make me
Feel weak.

You know,
One could only take so much
"We almost saved her...", but
Everyone knows,
Almost is never enough.

The day you are gone
Everyone seems to care, but
No one seems to care
When your were there...
Baby, be mine
Before time runs out.
He doesn't know
What he wants to say.
She doesn't know
What she wants to do.

She doesn't really wanna be with you.
Tell her what you wanna to do.
She wants him not you,
But doesn't know how to break the news.

Baby it's over!
NO!
That just wont do.

She needs help, please help her.
Say what you need to say.
She doesn't know whether
To leave or to stay.
It was those
Kisses of fire, and tears so sweet.
They gave me this feeling.
That was hard to defeat.

You said you loved me.
I thought you meant it too.
I guess everything you said was never true...
I've got a secret!
As long as you'll keep it,
I'll tell you what it is.
You must not speak of it.
My dreams are vivid, so real, somehow.
If you can't handle it stop reading now...

I tip toe to your bedroom
Get under your sheets
:)oops,I  mean fall with you fast asleep.
Maybe tuck you in, sing you a lullaby so sweet.

No
That's just too easy...
Just a little more insane,
I can't help it
I go crazy with you on the brain.

I want to feel your lips on mine,
As you caress my skin.
Don't tease
Lay me down to your mercy.
I'll give in.

Tell me what you want, I will gladly  comply.
You're ecstasy
But shh...you didn't hear it from me
A chill in the air awoke her
And she pulled her blankets tight
The ***** was running strong
It had been a good night
She felt sick and tried to sleep again
Relaxed and breathed a sigh
The room was dark and
She could still taste the rye

She laid there dazed and lazy
But, something was not right
She felt the need to investigate
The darkness in of the night
She sat up , rubbed her eyes
And looked over at his side
When she didn't see her
A fear crept up inside

She knew something was wrong
She is never up this late
Now her curiosity
Would make her investigate
She strained her ears to listen
Hoping she could hear her
But she couldn't hear a thing
Only her heart beating fear

She stood up and walked to the door
And pause one more time
Again she heard no sound
But saw a dull lights shine
It came from downstairs somewhere
And she knew she must be here
She went down the stairs to find her
And grab another beer

She went down the stairs slowly
And turned the corner to the hall
Took two steps to the kitchen
Two steps that was all
She stopped and stood silent
Her body frozen in shock
Her mind trying to comprehend
As time ticked off the clock
She watched the look of pleasure
The passion in her eye
As she took everything he had
And gave it to another guy

Her body began to tremble
Her emotions ran hot
She was going to **** them
Right there on the spot
She walked into the kitchen
And tried to grab a knife
She wasn't going to listen
Just going to take their life

They heard her open drawers
And panic filled the air
They were caught red handed
But could only just stand there

She screamed at them and threatened
And smashed everything in sight
This was it for him
She would deal with this tonight

She tried to walk up and grab her
But something held her in place
She knew something was wrong
By the pain on her face

She fell down on the floor
Overwhelmed with grief
She knew it was too much
She would find no relief
The pain was too much for her
And she began to fade
The anger in her blood
Spilling out along her blade
All the screams became silent
And she felt no more fear
This day would never shine on her
For she would not be here

Se prayed the dark would come
And take him away
She would not have to feel this
For even one lonely day
Her body shook and she knew
That her time was near
When she came to hold her
And whispered in her ear

I'm sorry love, you know I am
Please don't leave me now
I'm so sorry, please don't die
I'll make it up some how

She told the man to call for help
And tried to save her life
Her last words to her were
I wanted you to be my wife
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I would have never stopped to realize
How lonely I would be
I would have never thought the day would come
When you would grow tired of me.

Your voice wasn't as sweet
Than the day you said goodbye
You'll never know how much it hurt
Because now I know I'm too big to cry

If I knew then what I know now
You'd still be kissing me
Instead there's someone else's lips
Where mine used to be

I wish I could say hello and wish you well
Each time I pass you by
But you'll never know how much it hurt
Because now I know I'm too big to cry

You never looked so happy
As the day you walked away
I used to say, "I love you"
But that I could not say

I can't forget you
No matter how much I try
You'll never know how much it hurt
Because now I know I'm too big to cry
There's  method to my madness
Please, set my midnight sorrow free
My heart is beating me to death everyday, and
I make up  memories
In my head
To fill the emptiness
You have left.

My mind
Runs away to you
With a thought
I want you to read

I've been here before,
Every feeling
Every word
I've imagined before

When will I see you again?
I often think
About where i've gone wrong
Well, it's what you learn after you
"Know it all"
That counts
In the darkness of my night
you held my hand with love
so soft, so tight, guiding my
soul towards the light and
healing my body with your
midnight kiss, dragging me
from the edge of an abyss
who's hunger reached out
to feed on the agony of my
love for you.
Is this a curse that has been ****** on me
to live forever and never be
free from the beauty of your
treachery.
Have you ever
Needed someone
So bad

Yet they aren't willing
To make it last

Sometime you gotta lose
To win again
My eyes close
I'm holding onto
my memories
and hatred.
my slumber
all alone in my head...
so silent.

I can't explain the way
my tears run blood along my veins
if I let go of my pain
I'll cease to be, give into the plague...

war is coming,
I can hear it in my heart
blood will flow
along the grounds of the innocent,
I can't deceive
the darkness anymore...
I'm letting go, I'm losing control of myself...

you beat me down,
so low and now
I'm crying my soul
I'm losing control.
you led me to
a place where I
can't feel my face...

death is just an anesthetic
for what's to come
a body left behind with no face
feeling numb
all alone I cry here
fading into nothing
all alone I lie here
dying...

...losing myself...
I'm in love with you, and
all of the things that hurt and sing
when it comes to loving you.
Tell me you feel the same way, too.
Who needs friends when we're together.
I know you'll never leave me,
Because we're meant to be forever.
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I thought love was just a mirage of the mind,
It's an illusion,
It's fake,
It's impossible to find.

Yet the day I met you,
I began to see
Love does exist, and
It exists in me.

We come to love,
Not by finding a perfect person, but
By learning to see
A imperfect person perfectly.
There are many rivers to cross, and I can't seem to find my way on.
I wander.
I am lost.
As I travel all alone.
Why am I alone?

Sometimes, i need to stop myself.
Stop myself from commiting, a dreadful crime.

Loneliness won't leave me alone!
What a trap!
See now i'm on my own.

Yes, they left me.
They didn't say why.
Now it's time to cry.

Many rivers
Many rivers
Many rivers
Many river long

Many river to cross
Many river to cross
Mary had a little lamb
And a baked potato.
Mary had a salad too,
Of lettuce and tomato.

Mary asked for wine to drink,
So Daddy poured her some.
But Mommy said, "If you drink that,
I'll whip your little ***!"

So Mary chose dessert instead;
She had a choice to make:
Should I have a slice of pie,
Or a piece of cake?

But Mary couldn't quite decide,
So she took a bite of each.
It seemed the pie was rancid plum,
And the cake was rotted peach.

She gagged and spat the gross stuff out,
And hurled on the floor.
'twas then her mother grabbed her hair
And threw her out the door
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