I don't know how I'm feeling
I hope the thoughts of you stay in the year behind
All these useless ******* feelings
Those lonely nights up till the sun rises
I don't want to have you on my mind any longer
All you got me was ****** up
I never realised how it all was so stupid
I got over you
I will get over him
I will get over the next and many more
All feelings
All nothing

I can't sleep
What is it to sleep
When the only thing I see when I have my eyes closed
Is you
Your face
Your hair
Oh *******
I am so mad at you and yet I feel nothing
I don't know how I feel about you
About us
Is there even an us?
It was always you
Always

It's been four years
When people ask me what's it I like about you
I'm starting to forget
Well that is a good thing
But then I start to question
Was it your eyes?
The way they looked into my to assure me you were there
Was it your hair?
That fell so perfectly though you could never stand it
Was it the way you talked?
The proudness in your voice followed by the sadness in your eyes
I step back and look at you
****, I fell in love with everything

Your touch
I don't think it can ever compare too his
You held my hands
You brushed the tip of your fingers on the sides of my tummy
You squeezed me as you hugged me
You ran your fingers through my hair
But no
None of it felt right
I didn't long for it to be him instead
Because all he had to do was hug me and all negativity was gone
Touch me once and I didn't have to think twice he was made for me
But all you left on my skin was the rows of doubts and the uneasy feeling that it didn't feel right

My heart beats so incredibly fast
And I didn't know it could have gone so fast
I thought I could've died right there and then
But my heart started beating slower and slower
Each time my eyes met yours
And in the end the story of hate turned into love
The way my heart beated first turned from a fiery hatred
To a soft love for the boy who I cant stop loving
Despite the way he smokes,
The way he lights up every cigarette.
The way he gets his heart broken over and over by
A girl who is made of poison and he, so immune,
Keeps getting hurt knowing that nothing can break his walls down
But I love him.
The same boy who laughs at me
And caused the salty ocean to flow down my cheeks
And for the bees that stung my finger tips
The blood that stained my hair

Maybe the only thing that came good out of loving you
Is that 4 years later
I'll be a much better person that I was before
I don't take love so simply anymore
I don't fall in love just at the words of a boy
I won't let myself get beaten up over again
I still think twice before doing anything
And I still think about you a lot
I think about my mistakes
And I think about yours
It all taught me a lot
One of the most useful things it taught me was that
*Everything is temporary

Out of courtesy or not
I noticed I can't stop apologizing
I can't stop apologizing for the times bump into someone
Make someone's day a tad bit worse by misunderstanding something
Or for the times where I don't put my message across
Because I felt like those were the things
The things I overlooked when you were with me
I felt too comfortable that I stopped apologizing
And maybe I was the reason for the days
The days you just did not talk to anyone
Avoided any eye contact
But now since you decided to pick yourself up
Kick me out and leave alone
I am constantly left here
With Sorry washed over all other words I knew
I'm sorry for the times I made you angry
I'm sorry for the times I made you upset
I'm sorry for the times I made you worry
I'm sorry for the times where I didn't say I was sorry
I'm sorry that maybe I'm still the reason why
You're beating yourself over and over
I'm sorry but please come back