I roamed as free as
the wild green parrots
and the grandiose peacocks
all up and down
the darkest street
in San Pedro.

Our yard was without
boundaries and full of the buried
treasures of the past.
I'd spend summer days
digging in patched
kneed jeans.
Pulling from the dirt
old time cork top bottles
that once held
***** laced syrups and
other types of liquid joy.

When another ones life needed
saving the red flashing  lights
of fury lit the darkness with faint
hues of shifting reds as the
chariot of death sped past our
grand window.

The pill box shaped hospital sat
atop the hill like a morbid
kings Gothic castle.
Always overlooking
the lightless way.

Memories of our golden *****
running proudly across the canyon ,
a ***** white free roaming
hen still flapping
between her saliva,blood soaked
jaws.

Or the back street rushing
with brown garbage laden
runoff as the heavens opened
and cried rain upon the earth.

I didn't stand a chance up against
the pull of the *******
the dragon and all the
crimes and times away
it brought with it.

I laughed and fought along
side the ****** ones
and became apart of
something more than me.

I learned the true meaning
of the number 13
and earned the right to tattoo it
on my young body like the
true symbol of valor  
it is.

Life on the darkest street
in San Pedro
where the fall leaves of the
Eucalyptus
and the fruit trees burned
lasting colors of
yellow ,orange and red.

Those early years on the darkest
street in San Pedro
where my young mind took in
all the bad it could.

Coming of age on the
darkest street in San Pedro
with most of whom who are
long since dead.

My young life so long ago
on the darkest street in
San Pedro
brings about some of the
brightest memories
I have today.

all the things that a mother does
a loving touch, a hand that heals
I wouldn't know what that is like
I wouldn't know how that feels

she is just another stranger
though, the vessel of my birth
she never did what a mother does
though, she put me on this earth

I felt a bond when I was young
but that bond faded away
these words only burn my tongue
"happy mother's day"

I was cursed, upon the worst, poison burst, deadly verse, I was never first but chosen last, blessed ending although prophecy hurts, el angel de la muerte cursed with the worst, but blessed with the best, will I last?... Make it out alive, strive in this concrete jungle, might I stumble, die slow begin to crumble, regardless I stay humble, wherever life takes me, at least you keep a piece of me, a thought of me you could see, something I always wished it'd be,

I leave a poetry book of tales, stories, novels, achievements, aspirations, divinity's miraculous glory, life's high demands and expectations, heartbreaking grief season's fall with autumns leaf, read love's inventory, throughout the years,

Adolescents fluorescent days we spent, those special events, how everything went, and the turn of events, and how I felt, chances are I'm by far, at my weakest, I just want you to keep faith breathing, alive don't refuse it and watch it leave, please believe, love is real god granted us the power to feel, never doubt for a second, my love for you is sealed, that's my last and final deal my lovely tear,

My dwelling place became my pitfall, time marked cutting scarred causing internal bleeding, surrounded in a living hell, adversaries breaking through my soul, became so cold, demons took a hold, crept in formed started to unfold, lost myself, deviated from my right state of mind, lost blurry vision eyes blind couldn't envision, difficult to find, left behind still I shined, constantly used, mentally abused, manipulated mentally aggravated, my end turned out critically devastated, didn't know the reason, pulled into darkness treason strikes, in the hands of this wicked world we live in, the weakest links give in, machinery system of robotic's misery, captured souls, human hearts form cold, death is portrayed as gold, a story kept secret never to be told,

But not to worry sweet heart it wasn't because of you my dear, don't ever blame yourself, instead you were my bestful help, my helpful friend, very grateful I met you, and regretful I left you, it's a battle of the minds, it's a warzone, I'm all alone, honesty is long gone, evils out devouring, like a fierce lion doing wrong, I must stay strong, he's deceiving the minds, people walk the earth blind, the world chose to undergo, an enemy arose to pick a fight incite a battle with me, truth is they don't phase me, only chase me, and think twice to erase me, long story short none can't see me, I must dispose, human filth shouts and boast, I must set afire and watch it roast, make the best out the most, cook and toast,

Killing me slow, I mean you never know, promise me to water my rose help it grow, allow his true love to overflow, be the best you can, save souls, your crown awaits you, more precious than the purest gold, listen be careful and understand, most importantly have heart, blessed in the course and art of love, keep shining, stay grinding, never give up, please wipe those tears stop crying, take a good look at yourself you're already flying, be sincere, never fear, angels are near, guiding you through the years my dear,

I'm surrounded by physical demons, sell outs, people who traded their freedom for stability, disrupting my mentality, erupting my tranquility, it's hostility my finishing point is this, remember who you are, who I once met, the one at the top, the best to expect, nobody can stop, nor close to even drop, my confident leader, my school girl daydreamer, Never loud but quiet, soft, and tender, my soul just had to surrender, your protector and defender, a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle, love you always..

.:Crimes of the Heart:.

Sincerely,

We found them,
lots of them,
boiling
in the midday sun.
Bleached skulls
grinning,
some toothless,
some children,
most with a single bullet hole
in the middle
of their foreheads.
Some had them holes
in the back
of their cracked craniums.
We knew it wasn't the Mafia,
for this wasn't
their area of operations.

While I press my palm to hers,
I want to complete the world
our fingers folding into the fabric of skin

Aching to taste the tongue of my lover
To wash away the flavor of mango,
So that I’ll never seek a sweeter fruit again

As I close my eyes, in the blackening
I want to hear her raining
star drops into my night.

Imagining my last jar of breath taken,
Its lid twisted off, emptied into providence,
Then she filling the slack sails within me

All that I need for my humility
Is to be placed gently
in the vessel of her beauty…

then pushed softly from the dunes
into a stock-still ocean sans a single ripple
saffron petals, long leaves, moon softened

To love her in unrepeatable ways
and never miss a moment,
of our ever having done so

Her pulse, the only sound imagined
when nightingales go silent…
when winds wisps are somnolent

From the mystery of my heart as I sleep
My muse glides through the darkness
Into the morning of the madrugada.

I apologize for the stains on the pillow case,
I could not hold it in again.
The black that seeps into the flowers on the edge,
Are just from my eyes,
A little makeup remover should do the job fine.
The clothes missing from the closet are all mine, I swear.
I left your jerseys on the dresser, folded under the picture of us.
Please forgive the mess in the kitchen,
I began to make pancakes, but found myself in a heap on the floor,
While the batter bubbled under the stove.
I was sobbing because I am going to miss everything about this house.
That is no reason to stay here, I know that now.
I will miss Sundays, the smell of brunch from the hall,
And the glow of the tv when you fall asleep.
I found you countless times on the couch,
But never thought to move you to the bed.

The bathroom should be in good order,
The hair straightener will finally be out of your way.
I cleaned up the hair that I shed all over the house,
Because I know how much you hate it.
I began to vacuum the carpets, but I kept crying on them,
The hot tears would dry under the vacuum,
But I couldn't find the energy to keep going.

I know you won't understand why I am leaving,
Which is why this letter is for you,
And why I can't be here when you come home.
Your blue eyes would just drag me back to bed,
Like they have a hundred times.
I couldn't handle the grayness of your love anymore,
The way you couldn't commit to the distant future,
Or even to tomorrow.
We shared a house for ***** sake.
I hope you find the one you need,
I hope she cleans better than me,
I'm sorry that I am hurting you.
But I am happy that this is for me.
Sincerely,
Me

I've been at hundreds of funerals
Standing beside Fathers
Soon to be posted to Peru
Or to missions for black African babies.
They'd sprinkle caskets like Spring rains,
Burn incense to smudge the dead
With rising smoke signals.
Sounding the advance.
I witnessed pain in the front pews,
The kneelers with thin cushioning.
I prayed fervently for a whosh of wind
To sweep behind me,
Billow my soutane,
  And lift the lid;
Prayed for the candle flame to flare,
For the body to rise
As Rathgar did.
He was a faker.
Not like what I saw.
Up close.
On Friday mornings.