a 'modern' school building
with 'modern' ideas
(and 95% of the pregnant
and the drop-outs and the
suicidal and the desperate
pushed under the
carpet instead of
given help)

a balanced curriculum
everything your child
needs
(except love and affection
and life skills and how
to treat other people
without behaving like
a *******)

there's dozens of school clubs
the gospel choir's won
awards
(though you'll hear more of a
holy chorus of '*****' from the lips of the
******* goddamners)

and our school reputation is
propped up on results
(but exams mean nothing
because when you're dead
who's going to care how
much ink you scrawled in
just the right patterns on
your blank sheet of paper?)

all students are valued
equally, of course
(but definitely not by
the other students because
who wants to see that art
freak's drawings on Instagram
when he didn't even get invited
to that last big
party?)

all boys and girls are given
equal opportunity
(except when a bench needs
lifting, or they're transgender)

and our school uniform dress
code applies to everyone
(but if you're a guy and your
forearms are distracting someone
don't worry, you won't be asked
to cover them up)

all bullying is dealt with
swiftly and without prejudice
(unless the kid being bullied is
black or muslim because then
for some reason it's a whole
different story)

and all subjects here are treated
with equal merit and available
to everyone
(but if you're taking woodwork
then you're thick, or drama then you're
queer)

speaking of equality, the school's an
lgbt+ safe zone
(but don't even think about
being openly into the same ***
or someone's going to smash
your face in)

because we're a 'modern' school
with 'modern' ideas
(but if someone tries to tell you otherwise
then they're telling the
truth
and it's worth being friends with
them)

What happens when your time runs out?
It's your time to go, so you scream and shout
But all that comes out is a choked off sound
You're weak, fall to your knees, palms on the ground

Then you wake up drenched in your own sweat
It was only a dream, you repeat in your head
Though it felt so real, it had to mean something true
Tonight, at Death Cafe, I'll bring my thoughts to you

I have a sickness of cutting the same skin, repeatedly expecting a different outcome.

Off to buy some *******
So I can get high with my friends in the rain.
Are we running away from life's pain?
Or towards  understanding again?
For some the truth can constrain
For others set free from their bane
Its insane
This drug makes my mind like a train
Derailed and kept unconstrained
Sublimely tempting and vain
  Amen

.

Just another day
Same as the last
She knew nothing else
Only to feel pain

She belonged to him
There was no escape
Did all he asked
Never said no

How nobody saw
Those blackened eyes
The darkest of bruises
She never knew

He was older
To this young woman
Forced to find respect
Of a husband she hated

Never to bear a child
Because of the damage
The kicks he gave her
Did to her body inside

Knew if she escaped
He would track her down
Cut her beautiful face
Make her suffer in time

Too scared to tell
For would anyone listen
Who would help her
When he was her owner

So she continues to serve
Keeping it all in silence
Never to know real love
Always a slave to fear

Am i mad?
what is torturching me?
And i'm torturching others?

Really no other creature
should be like me
Killing itself and others

And killing poetry too

Can't calm myself?
Hate myself
Having works
But willn't do

Again and Again
Am proving myself
That i'm not ok
Pshyo.....

The warmth.
It escapes your body.
Your limbs grow weaker.
It gets harder to breathe.
The wound won't stop bleeding.

In my hand I hold yours.
Next to you lies a knife.
Your hands get colder.
Your eyes going blank.
Your heart can't keep up.

Stop... Stop...
It ceases to beat.
No more do you breathe.
You can't see.
You can't feel.

Gone. I rest.
Grab my knife and your corpse.
Tidy up the crime scene.
Leave no trace behind.
Rest in peace, my love.

Losing myself in the veil of tears
Uncover me in proximity

Tilt my world upside down
Take me to the fair
Cotton candy almost gone
Clowns do not care

Put me on the wooden horse
Spin me round and round
Up, down, turn it off
Carousel, I am bound

Get me off this wounded ride
No more stop and go
Blurry vision sinking in
Say it isn't so

Tortured mind, black my heart
Cancel out this game
Carousel is not fun
Nothing left to blame