When I was still young and fresh
A million years ago
I walked on edges
Always on the edge of something
Something wild

Bright lights and long nights
Lots of laughter and music
Always music
Singing with the band
Dodging the flying glass
When fights broke out
Howling to the moon
Oh, wild indeed were we

All shadows now, alas
Visions from an addled brain
Pubs, clubs and smoky dumps
Leave no turn unstoned was the cry
More fun than fundamental
And fundamentally flawed, it was
A couple of hours sleep 'fore the day job
With eye-lids stuck together
And walking into walls
But still I wouldn't have swapped it
For all the strait laced straight faced
Wealth in the world

                                 By Phil Roberts

In books I get lost
I buy more no matter the cost
I'm addicted to the feeling
because the thrill is a sort of healing
for me at least
It's exhilarating to discover the next beast
lost in another world
yet still in my chair, body warm and curled.
Parties go unattended
and I hope they don't get offended
that I prefer books
over looks.

Allergic to her countless lovers
Coming and going
Assorted faces
Strangely similar
Always the musician
Infested in drugs
Touching her
Kissing her
Grabbing her  
Pushing her  
Treating her like a desperate animal
Exposing their mating calls
In my panorama
My young troubled eyes
Shot in permanents
An exhibit to suppress

She begs their affection
While rejecting my attention

© Jl 2016

You made it a point to make sure that I knew how you felt and what you wanted, but I can't seem to bring myself to understand nor to think that you could ever actually want me.

I love the thing that hates me.
Nothing I do matters
So I will just give up.
The truth is
Right in front of you
Until you turn around.
Can you please look at me?
The look in your eyes give me chills
I hope that
One day
No one forgets me.

Sometimes I wish I was invisible.
Not to go around and be sneaky.
Doing **** that upsets people or hurts them.
I just wish I was invisible because
I'm just so ******* tired of being seen.
Having to hide my insecurities.
Having to lock up my emotions.
Having to keep myself safe.
Just being out there.

I rock.
Not the kind where i'm awesome...
The kind where I find I hug myself.
Where I move back and forwards.
All the ******* time.
When I eat.
When I write.
When I read.
When I do anything.
Just gently rocking.
Always have and probably always will.
But it comforts me.
I comfort me
That's so ******* weird.
But it's honest.

I wish I was invisible.
So that the world could leave me alone.
Because it gnaws on my bones.
Like it has the right to do that to me.
I just want to be invisible so I can live quietly.
Doing my own thing.
And no one will know I am there.
And hopefully no one will see me.
And, if I close my eyes.
And rock quietly, and slowly.
I think that's the closest I will ever get.
To being invisible.

Some say just relax all will be cool
Obviously you don't know me. Like you think you do

Look through my broken trunk of memories
Shuffling faded pictures of distant places and time
Those were the frozen moments
Captured by the flash of a Polaroid
Oh the good times, scattered but few

Lighting the flames to burn the past
Each moment, each word, each time

We used to sing a kind song
The melody rang true
Not like what you hear today
So many fell like you
  
This used to be a kind town
Where people shake your hand
You didn't have to worry
Of fire from a can
  
It's kind of like a sad song
Where people die from love
Or you can take a bite of this
Oh! No, you can't
Oh! No, you can't
  
We're trapped like rats in cities
Don't go outside to breathe
The politicians make it harder
And we just stand at ease
Or wind up Kennedys
  
We used to sing a kind song
We used to be a kind town
We used to sing a love song
What happens now?

I am a ****** up poet
A starving artist
A punk rock Elvis
Sometimes you just gotta go all out
Because your the king
Man
And you just can't help it

Van Gogh died poor
And alone
In a field that was his last expression
He died by his own hand
And it wasn't even raining
When it should have been

I don't even see myself when I look in a mirror
And you don't see what I see when you look at me
You see a smiling lover
Enjoying life though all the struggle
I live life as Pagliacci
A ****** up poet

I put on a great show
And I weep during intermission