The way in which you love,
So truly and deeply,
Is felt in my soul.
From the marrow in my bones
To the tips of my hair.

Just a glimpse of you
Warms my blood and
Floods my body with joy
And I can't help but smile,
Even if only for a millisecond,
No matter how deep into the darkness I've traveled.

And for that I am grateful.

You are the North Star that shines bright with diligence,
Guiding me through the treacherous night
Toward my freedom,
And away from the ******* of self
That enslaves me,
And keeps me shackled to my negative thoughts.

Like a mother cat to her kitten
You teach me not to **** where I eat
And how to always land on my feet when I fall,
No matter how far.

And for that I am grateful.

Your hugs are morsels of love,
Radiating with the kindness, acceptance and patience
Ingrained in your DNA,
That all transfer from your heart to mine
When we embrace,
Left to left,
Calming my anxious spirit
And once again I am grateful.

Because I know that no matter what,
You're on my side.
That the ratio of good to bad in the world
Increases every time you interact with someone,
Dropping little high-pitched bombs of wisdom
That explode with the positivity and joy we all need,
Not only to bring us closer to our own inner selves,
But also to see through the façades of others
And have compassion.

For we are all connected by an invisible web
Much bigger than us
And not created by us
But that traverses oceans and time alike
And brought you into my life
When I needed you most.

And for you I am eternally grateful.

Drunk on love,
&& some cheap boxed wine.
I do this all the time;
Why do I do this all the time?

There are 37.2 trillion cells
in the human body
Yet somehow,
you're coursing through
every last one of them.

I push people away constantly,
For fear of ever
Falling in love with them.

The heart always wants
What it cannot have,
A far away lover
From a far away land.

All I'm left with are these words,
Which shall forever
remain unspoken.

I'll just carry on in denial,
Pretending I'm not
Heartbroken.

If my outer layers are perfectly
placed together,
Can anyone tell that
my insides are shattered?

Bruised && battered;
Does it really matter?
Does any of it matter,

To you?

It's 5 to midnight, my Cinderella fantasy
is rushing away
I don't have any more glass slippers
or time left today
So many years, same old song to sing
Salt in all my tears, making my heart sting
It's all been wasted, every little thing
Wasted love

Always seems like the love I seek
is just out of my reach
or heading out the door
But I felt something new
some kind of connection to you
like I'd never be the same as before
It seems a silly far-fetched thing to say
but I had crazy dreams for us one day
like parties and rings and building our team
But I always seem to have to learn to let go
and our time was just a quick stop in your traveling show
lesson learned, I guess things aren't always as they seem

He says, "I'm not asking for much"
She gives him butterflies with every touch
He notes her on the way her eyes glow
She says "There's things you don't know"
He doesn't force her to explain
She enjoys this through her pain

He tells his friends about this girl,
"She's the most beautiful in this world"
He ignores their laughs and remarks,
"At least I think with my heart"
His friends laugh again and say this,
"Yo man lemme know after you hit"

She cries at night because she truly cares
Her sister shows concern so she shares
"There's a guy and I'm actually interested"
(She's never had relationships with time invested)
Her sister hugs her and they both cry
She stays up all night as hours go by

He continues to pursue his infatuation
She accepts forcing a sad situation
He takes his time to spite his friends
She knew exactly when it would end
The night came when he used the word "love"
She prayed that night to the Lord above...

"Dear Father,
Why did I ever experience this pain
When I didn't even know his name
I still can remember my mouth taped
The night in the alley when I was *****
My faith and hope are only beginning to fade
He won't love me when he finds out I have AIDS"           

The next day he and she decide to meet
On a particular and familiar street
She tells him everything and he looks surprised
Smiling he says, "Remember, when I said I loved your eyes"
She cries because this wasn't what was planned
He gives her something little by holding her hand.

I awkwardly said,
I want to share my poems aloud,
At this place, underground.
I'd like it if you came.

No reply.

I anxiously mentioned,
Some of them will have you in them,
I'd like it if you came and heard,
What I had to say.

No reply.

A few days later, you talk to me, randomly.
I mention I want to see you.
I've had a bad day.

What's been bad, you say?

My job isn't working out and
my car situation is all ****** up,
and my family is ****** up too.

You don't have your car anymore?

No, family needed it more than I.
And I want to save some down before I get mine.
I say.
Emptily. Thinking. No big deal.
This is smart. This is what people do.

But you never replied.
Not once when I needed you the most.

Looking back I'm frustrated.
I cared an awful lot.
And because I did I shared myself instead of
Partaking in you. And I think at a point it became so...
needy. So frustrating. So unmanly in your eyes, that
combined with some ****** dysfunction,
we just died on the vine. Black, withered, and disgusting.
So even though we remembered being green it just,
could not go back that way. And the irony was if I had
just ever figured out how to be nonchalant,
and not care so ever ******* much,
then, chances are, you'd have been my lady.
Life is weird. People... relationships... I don't know.
It's a cruel joke sometimes. Ain't a poem for you anymore.
You never really wanted.... that. I don't know what you want but,
It isn't me. Not anymore.

My sister said, **** that *****.
I smiled wryly and thought,
Once, but nevermore.

I think in the dark times of the night.
Even when the sky is bright,
Perhaps in a few years, when we are older...
I think with fear of a primal sort.
I have a girl that I love,
who I adore, and who doesn't necessarily mistreat me,
who keeps me though I'm an *******, and will take me
rich or poor but...
If you ever became someone who would come
and listen to my poetry
and hear what I have to say to you,
and cared, a little bit, sincerely,
and ever found me in your heart, truly, again...
What would I do?
I don't know but disgustingly,
I may always love you.

Because if I don't mourn for them, who will?
No one will remember them
Soon thousands, millions of lives-
Poured through the hourglass
To be lost beneath the sands of eternity-
Forgotten forever

And no one even noticed

Your smile lingering
longingly
like a gentle breeze
frolicking in trees
Your gaze entrancing
tempting, mesmerizing
engaging me in a lovers dance
The warmth of desire
from your smoky brown eyes
a duet of stars
sparkling in the skies
Your hands on my hips
the warmth of your lips
sensually intoxicating me
with your gentle sips
seducing my senses
with just a touch of you

This time tomorrow
there will be no more tears,
and the warmth of your arms
will soften all fears
This time tomorrow,
I will lie awake in your embrace;
the warmth of your breath
on the soft of my face
I shall watch you sleep;
our arms and legs lovingly entwine
safe in your arms
knowing that you are all mine
This time tomorrow ...

In the moments of silence
that follow in the wake of your absence,
my ears shatter a thousand times
A thousand times I hear your name,
ache for your whisper
in the soft of my ear;
ache for you to be here
At times, I am alone in my thoughts;
alone in the dark of night
And when all is quiet
but the screams of your silence,
I hear your name a thousand times
Come home, I need you…

high school sweethearts
a bit more in college
we were gaining
more than knowledge

we were two souls
with one heart
when one would end
the other'd start

picking up where we left off
life's circle not a line
no ending in our future
this was the grand design

i came home to an empty place
i did not know just why
no note, no rhyme or reason
she did not say good bye

fourteen years and there she was
looking lost outside my door
was it worth another go
hell, let's go at it once more

two days and she was missing
what i felt had been a lie
again, no note or reason
and again, no sad goodbye

picking up where we left off
life's circle not a line
no ending in our future
this was the grand design

time had passed quite quickly
the phone rang, she cried to me
fifteen more years were behind us
is this how  life should be?

we met for drinks and dinner
and before too much was said
we found a hotel 'round the corner
and we both tumbled into bed

in the morning, yes ...you guessed it
she was gone, i was alone
i called down for a taxi
i smelled her perfume on the phone

i saw it in the paper
two weeks ago she died
i felt sad that she was gone now
but, i couldn't cry, not if i tried

you see, we always seems to cross paths
no matter how, no matter when
i knew deep down we'd pick up
where we left off...some time again

picking up where we left off
life's circle not a line
no ending in our future
this was the grand design

I have lived a thousand lives and died a million deaths.
And somewhere in between, I finally found myself.