I'm frightened
I'm terrified
I'm absolutely unnerved.
Every moment
Every next heartbeat
I stand here
Clenching my phone.
Waiting for that next message back from you

Because that means you're still alive. And for a second I can breath.

A lovely breeze flows
through my half open windows.
I stand by the grill,
pretend to have strong will,
to stay in my senses,
to stay alive in coming darkness.

It has been long,
I hear echo of that dull song
while I still stand by the grill
and let time fill
the emptiness within me.

Walking on the roads,
I pass shops and bill boards
selling happiness in everything
as though items can bring
back contentment to you,
replace the warmth of a lost soul
with an object cold and new.

I have failed over a hundred times
took the wrong turn after a long mile,
tried to make way after dead ends,
always trying for that smooth bend.

I feel today,
I need to make a new way.
I am that same soul
with an old habit of setting new goal,
with a heavy heart,
with an anxious mind,
plan a new beginning
on this lonely Sunday evening.

I'm sorry.
Twas not my finger that pulled a trigger
Nor was it my signature that sealed the fate
Of an exploding bomb delivering destruction,
Death,
Loss,
Pain,
Suffering.
But I'm still sorry.

My sorry eyes have been blind but always teary,
Guilty,
Helpless,
Longing,
I see your pictures and ache to hold you,
Comfort you,
Soothe you,
Help you.
So sorry.

But I tell myself I need a car,
I need to save,
I need to eat,
I need to think of that trip home,
Christmas presents,
Next weekend,
I need the money but
You need to survive and
I need to wake up and instead of being
Sorry,
I need to be helpful.

We all do.

Old souls are the most beautiful things inside of us.
They are a thousand of years old.
We can't paint them on canvas.
We can't write them in a poem.
And we can't play them on the piano.

Life is not pre-destined
One path is not that's there
Life is misadventure
The end...you know not where

Sometimes people lead you
Other times you make your way
But, paths they are all changing
Where will you end up today

Roads are twisted and forbidden
Some are dry and some are wet
The road may be straight or be a forked one
If it's forked you best take it!!

Start a path, don't look behind you
Change the scene of your attack
Start your path and take on others
Move ahead and don't look back

Life is full of trips and stumbles
It's not just a rosy road
don't always take the road less travels
But always help to share a load

People come and join your journey
Some may stay and others leave
The one's who stay may be unwanted
The ones who don't you learn to grieve

Listen to the world around you
Listen to those from before
They know the roads that are the safest
These are the folks who know the score

If you travel on with no one
And a forked road you do get
If you see a forked road take it
advice from Yogi...your best bet!!!

Child of mine please know

All things have a season

All things have a time

If stars can fall, then crash and burn

Humans fight and fail to learn

Then time has nought to teach

The blind will never learn to see

And the deaf will fail to hear

Even mighty rivers run dry

And seas can also die

Today

my heart stopped beating

But time has taught me this...

Love is where you find it

Follow joy wherever you can

Hope can spring eternal

Fellowship remains in man

When something bad
happens you have
choices, you can either
let it define you or
you can let it destroy
you or you can you
let it strengthen you
but know that stars
can't shine without
darkness,so if at first
you don't succeed,
destroy all evidence
that you tried and
cleanse your mind of
anxieties and
broodings and forgive
yourself for your
transgressions and see
the beauty that surrounds
you and listen to all of
the joyous sounds of
your world and always
be aware of the marvels
in your life now and not
when you are in the
depths of despair.

Dance like no one is
watching,
Love like you've
never been hurt,
Sing like no one's
listening
Live like heaven is
on earth and be kind,
for everyone you meet
is fighting a hard battle
and every day may not
be good but there is
something good in every
day.
                                       Jon York        2016

Once upon a time I wrote poetry
To fill the emptiness that did reside

Once I learn to say how I felt
Long after the tears had mostly dried

Once I marveled at what I could write down
I even marveled at the rthym of the sound

But now the words falter , stumble at the gate
They no longer please me , I take it as my fate

Their purpose has somehow been denied
And to continue on a fruitless path would be living in a lie

So I take stock and close the book and put away my pen
For I will not be found in grace on page written in poem again

Once I was lost but now I'm found