In the hollow inside my soul

Rattling around a cage

scraping yet more and more flesh

I dont go down those steps anymore

But I can feel you scratching at the door

Dragging every sweet moment into the abyss of bitter

And the salt of my tears crystallised long ago

With nothing but dust to offer

The ocean of tears still drown me

And resurrection feels neither glorious or healing

Such long tendrilled fingers

Frightened to let go

I might have forgotten you

But you won't let me

Until you take every part of me for yourself

But I still walk forwards

And every day I will get further

And you will be but a pin *****

In my new tomorrow

And despair will forget my name

Heap o' problems.
Elliot! Please fix!

I hate the word love
I hate how it's used
Tied to lust
Tied to abuse

I hate the word love
I hate how it's used
Tied to pain
Tied to you

The papers are wet with ink.
Russia is losing it's war.
North Korea is swamped with the Covid.
Tucker is backpedaling his replacement theory.
Finland and Sweden are enrolling.
Armament shipments are making a difference.
The Pope is apologizing.
That needs repeating: The Pope is apologizing.
(But why stop with the Aboriginals. Consider the Jews and Irish).
Fossil fuels are on the decline.
(plastic microchips are in our fat)
I can still buy Roundup.
Tobacco is banned in most public places here.
*** is not.
There are more drunks, and more behind bars, and in front.
We have safe injection sites.
I have robots asking me if I'm a robot.
There are more tv stations selections.
TV is not worth watching.
LPs are making a comeback.
Right to Life is Wrong for Many.
... and on... and on

I'm hardly the one
You left behind,
Twenty odd years ago;
The suit fits much better,
Now I'm in the show.
I'm not using slight-of-hand,
No smoke or mirrors,
Just running sand;
The big tent long left town.

I know the four directions,
And how my wind will blow.
And even at a four way stop
I know who has the right-of-way.
And when it's my turn to turn,
I'll step on the pedal and spin my wheels
And drive myself insane.

I wish I was stronger
That my mind would leave me alone
I keep trying
Pushing through all of these walls I've built
I keep trying
To focus on the little things to get me through each day
But each little thing is getting harder than it ever use to be
Why can't I just stop
Stop worrying about how I'm meant to do this
How I'm going to get through this
Stop avoiding life and carry on get over it and move on
I wish I didn't feel so strongly
But the emotions I carry weigh me down so intensely
I don't want this to be who I am
Yet it's how I see myself
I've got no dreams or aspirations
And I find that really weird
Why don't I want more out of life
Why can't I see a better future for myself
I just continue to get stuck in my head and weigh myself down
I'm a burden to myself
And I resent it more than I should
I wish I could see the light the silver lining behind it

This is the place to write
That I'm incomplete
And just broken enough
To be searching

For something that fixes
Or completes me

Sometimes,
That would only be silence
To my questions

She’s beautiful, the finest rose in the garden. Her hands soft as silk. Her hair as fair as her skin. Those thorns will get you though. So be careful where you pick her. She’ll ***** until you bleed.

I smile the most
When I want to
Cry

I laugh the most
When I want to
Die

I sit here
And I act playful
As we text

But deep down inside
My heart
And my hope
Have failed
And I lay here
Stuck in my head
Unable to leave this bed

I miss having more people
To hold me close
And cuddle
For now everyone
Makes it ******

I miss holding hands
With people
And going on adventures
But now everyone
Assumes that means
I want them

I do want love
And I do want someone to hold
But just because I cuddled you
Or held your hand
Or was goofy with you
It doesn't mean
You're the one I choose

A cuddle
Shouldn't turn
Into a ****

Holding a hand
Shouldn't turn
Into love

So why is that
What I always
Run into?

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