shaking
sweating
heavy breathing
i’m having a panic attack
anxiety has me in her claws again
she’s taking me under
she’s breaking me down
i can’t rise up out of this
because i fear once im free
she’ll come back for me

i have infinite options
but i don’t wanna do anything
i’m so tired
of everything.

My grandma said that i'm wonderful,
My friends all say that i'm awesome,
My exes all called me "Beautiful",
My dad called me perfect.

But, if i'm so.....
Wonderful,
Awesome,
Beautiful,
And perfect....

Then why did they all leave me.....?

I am a master at lying
It is an art
I’ve become so good at it
That when I say
I am fine
I almost believe myself

I am Lost

My soul resonates
with the prettiest and darkest things.
I feel and hurt
and live and rejoice
and die and hate
and forgive.
I do it all
in a whirlwind of emotions so no wonder.
No wonder
I don’t know what’s forward or backwards or even what to say
Or do next.
I am so lost.

It funny
The weird positions that your bad choices
put you in

Im dead
but
at the same time
Im slightly more alive

Almost found
yet still completely lost

no one can save me from the depths of darkness
that eat me alive
And it will
until im reunited with the life
I wanted
and I made

Sometimes,
I just wanna leave
everything and everyone
Just to see who'll find me
In the crowd of thousands
Will ever someone actually
be bothered about my absence
I wanna sit back and watch

-   SASR

“i just don’t really wanna be here anymore,” he said softly.

“where? where don’t you wanna be?” i asked.

“i just can’t be here anymore.”