hearts bought and sold on whimsy
dark secrets screamed aloud
resonate in empty heart chambers
dislodging logic
as ripples shift sense to passion

sold for a song
bought for practice
eyes open, heart shut
heart open, eyes shut
bubbling cauldrons
casting spells
deeper, deeper, deeper down
darkness blinds normality
and bends reality

let go/ hold on
tighter, until hands weaken
watching shadows of self
chasing shadows of yesterday
fear or excitement
aroused or afraid

enchanting eyes in navy winter
trust a stranger and lose yourself
trust yourself and lose a connection
tied in musky fog
to the inside of another
chained to that which claimed you
for nothing more than cupidity

Anxieties fear agnostic fronts seeking a plethora of suicidal nightmares.

Drowning in the pools of  blood of the sacrificial lambs.

The reaper depraves our body of our soul;
leaving us in a pile of dark ashen earth.

That pile is blown away by the dusts of time, he crept in and we are no more.

In this state of mind,
I swallow my pride like I’m born to do it.
**** it back and let its bitter bite
coat my tongue and slide down
sides of my pretty pale throat,
caressing each of the guilty lumps
on its way to the below.

When it’s been stomached,
I thread my golden needle
on the first try.
I press my lips together
to pierce and sew them shut.
Crisscrossing over, under,
around, and through.
The tinny blood tastes
much less bitter than my pride.
I pull tight, ending the job
with its little uniform knots.

But certainty is key.
So I break each and every finger
on my small, able hands.
Once the most amazing
and interesting of instruments,
now hang crooked and limp;
however, as I watch them bruise and swell,
a deep pink to a fresh blue-violet,
I am wholly relieved.

None will be spoken,
None will be written.
Here, safe in my man-made silence.

I want to explore what is beyond the minds eye,
beyond what I can find.
What defines being alive.

I want to unlock closed doors,
and explore whats behind.
A star destined to glow,
will find a way to shine.

The re build can be better,
than original structure.
Wisdom and patience reduces the wonder.
If they don’t have reaction,
then why am I asking?
Knowledge is power,
so answers are lacking.

I think so I want.
I want so I get.
If it wasn’t so hard,
I’d hardly commit.
This is my life,
and I’ll never forget.
I'm given this life,
so I can go **live.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
I will be strong, no matter what happens.
I will not concede to weakness.
Pain will not win. Failure is irrelevant.
It will not exist in this world of mine.
I may fall, but I will get back up every time.
Negativity will not stand in my way.
I will not shed tears, lest with a smile.
Those who give me strength, I will draw them with me.
I will protect them from the harms from which they protect me.
I will not see pain inflicted by my own hand.
I will be a leader of tomorrow. I will bring the world in my wake.
Today is the first. It will be the first of many.
I will be strong and I will be proud.
I will love without fail and remain loyal to those who hold my trust.
I will be honest and thoughtful and as kind as life will allow.
I will never again look behind me.
I will not let my past drag me down.
I accept this challenge, for I have written it.
Thus, I start a new chapter of my life, and it begins with these words:
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Too dead to cry
Yet dull pain still hurts
Too damaged to register
Too easy to accomodate
Sunlight blinds
Fresh air suffocates
Dusty damp corners
Lurking in darkness
Slinking through the shadows
Of what feels normal
Colorless stink of contentedness
Fills the heart
Fills the senses
Feels too full to want.....anything

There's beauty in these letters,
that build the words I write.

My soul is born again,
when my heart isn't feeling right.

I find myself inside the words,
and create these worlds at night.

These words are me,
to a tee,  
but to define me in a rhyme;
never have I done it,
but I do this just to try.