It arrives uninvited.
Quietly seeping in like toxic gas,
suffocating and poisoning
any thought etched with love,
leeching its happiness.

It unpacks anxieties,
dressing me in layers of loathing;
scraping insecurities
to let it rage on my being.

It gently coaxes my mind
painting every thought a shade darker
letting it heavy
myself to detachment.

It purrs and studies
getting comfortable;
morphing reality into a self made purgatory.

Slacking and barely coping with the pace of reality,
it tears fibers to root itself
allowing it to grow with every beat
leaving no energy to breathe.

Emptiness
Loneliness
Detachment
Stillness
are all back,
heaving my eyelids
leaving a trail of labels
down to my chin.

Until my hollow structures
implode into dark matter
leaving me one with the abyss.

I am not okay
And sometimes that’s all I can get myself to say.
For I don’t know how to explain
There is no pain
But there is an ache.
There are no thoughts
But there is chaos.
There is an urge to cry
But no tears to shed.
There is nothing
But there is something
Unexplainable and numb
Light and heavy
Suppressing and dark
There is something unknown
which is making me feel
Queasy and at unease
And that’s all I can say.

My darkness has more depth
My shadows are much taller
My reflection is merely rippling sand.

Once upon a time
They used to be lost in woods
But now they are lost in their thoughts.
Once upon a time
They used to drown in oceans
But now they drown in their own thoughts.
Once upon a time
They used to be stabbed by their enemies
But now they hold the blades to their skin.
Once upon a time
They used to be bullied by the bullies
But now they are bullied by their minds.
Once upon a time
They used to pray to live
And now they pray to die.