Mental Health - Hello Poetry

Dec 2016

Eric Martin

Hopeless

Why does every thing have to feel so hopeless
Even though I have passion and am ferocious
I am still held back from the dread;
Of this devastating psychosis

I am left stuck up in my head
Thinking about all the things that need to be said
But I still feel that coldness;
Wishing I was dead

I feel so boneless
I wonder if any one would even notice
All these feelings I wish I could shed;
So my heart doesn't feel so soulless

I wonder if I have bin miss lead
I wonder if in the end I will be whole or just a shred
But I think my only prognosis;
Is this feeling will soon spread
And things will really become hopeless

Dec 2016

Eloi

The ghosts that only I see

My house is filled with ghosts,
That only I can see,
I try to tell my mother,
But she laughs at me.

They haunt my every step,
Whispering past events,
telling me their stories,
Filling me with worries.

I lay in bed at night,
Full of anxiety and fright,
That one of them might try to hurt me.

I see jet black figures in my mirrors,
And deformed silhouettes in my windows,
I close my eyes and pray for them to go away.

I guess I'm just intruding,
Living where they once did,
They have followed me around since I was a kid.

My mother takes me to the doctor,
Who diagnoses me with schizophrenia,
Says' it's all in my head,
That I can't see anyone who's dead.

Locked in an institution for days,
They still wouldn't go away,
They never left my side,
They haunt me still to this day.

This is a true story, that happened to me not so long ago.

#love #sad #eyes #death #anxiety #stories #schizophrenia #haunting #worries #ghosts

Dec 2016

Eloi

Am I crazy?

Am I crazy?
I see people, who aren't really there.
They talk to me, whispering things in my ear.

Shhh,
Don't tell anyone.
They'll lock you back up,
No discretion, but you just have bad luck.

They tell me I'm psychotic,
And dose me up on meds,
To make me feel "sane" again,
Their lies I will be fed.

But I've been there before, I've seen the road and I've been through the doors,
Seconds feel like years when you're in an asylum,
Your heart they will pour.

Don't call me schizophrenic,
Because I swear that I'm not,
I know the people that I see,
Were once alive like me.

#love #lies #sad #death #crazy #psychotic #asylum #schizophreni

Dec 2016

Eloi

Skinny

Don't listen to the pressure,
Who even said that skinny is better?
Those magazines and tv shows?
Being hateful is money and money is what they want.
So they will hate every minute of the day to make sure that their pay isn't going away.

Propaganda that visible bones is better,
Lies that skipping a meal is alright,
And teaching little girls that with their weight
They will always have to fight.

This is not how we were created to be,
We are all beautiful internally.
Don't listen to the pressure,
Skinny really isn't better.

Since I was 14 I've struggled with eating disorders, I think it's something that all young girls are self conscious about to some extent growing up because of what they see on social media X and in magazines.
It's really sad that some children will literally die trying to be as thin as they think they should be.
Eating disorders are often glorified nowadays,
And people don't realise the severity of it.

#love #sad #death #disorder #anorexia #bulimia #skinny

Dec 2016

Eloi

******

A psych ward is the place to be,
Come along, and you will see.
You'll be welcomed by forgotten silent deaths
and torturous screams.
An everlasting place of a need to be free.

Come on down to the "freak show",
We'll show you how we rock and roll,
Some say that we're unhinged,
But trust me honey, the fun is about to begin.

A lobotomy a day keeps the schizophrenia away they say,
An electric chair isn't the cruelest thing there,
By far it is knowing that you are not crazy, amongst a world that is.

We'll dance for you, we do it well.
But if we don't, torture will make it amends.
We sit here day on day, hoping for freedom,
Uncanny, unlikely, and an impossible dream.

A psych ward is the place to be,
We'll grow old here and die a forgotten death,
The music is still playing,
The patients are still dancing,
This is my last day.

So come on down to our freak show, join our family, we'll show you how to rock and roll,
And die insanely.

This is a poem about when I was admitted to a mental institution for 5 months straight.

#love #dream #freedom #sad #pain #death #cry #hope #schizophrenia #******

Dec 2016

SabreLi

Going, Going, Gone

They tell me it’s the lesser of two evils
But I’m not sure that’s a fact
Sometimes I think it’s best to leave you to your demons
They’ve got you this far in tact

Either way I can’t stop the progression
This deadly routine’s for your own protection
There are no winners here, there’s far too much at stake
Do I stand by and let them feed you to the rattlesnake?
When I know it’s eating you up inside
Like a private supply of cyanide

Going, going, gone
I see you today but who knows where you’ll be tomorrow
Going, going, gone
Slipping through my fingers to a place that I can’t follow
Going, going, gone
Your own private cyanide’s a bitter pill to swallow
Going, going, gone

I know there’ll be times that you will disagree
But just between you and me
When they tell us over again that two’s company
I feel like we are three

But they don’t matter, all my objections
This deadly routine‘s become your obsession
There are no winners here, there’s far too much at stake
Do I stand by and let them feed you to the rattlesnake?
And I know it's killing you from inside
Like a private supply of cyanide

Going, going, gone
I see you today but who knows where you’ll be tomorrow
Going, going, gone
Slipping through my fingers to a place that I can’t follow
Going, going, gone
Your own private cyanide’s a bitter pill to swallow
Going, going, gone

Every day I see you drift further away
And there’s only so much I can pray
I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place
Soon you’ll disappear without a trace

Going, going, gone

Copyright © 2016-2017 KF

Another one written with multiple interpretations is mind, but mostly about someone suffering from ill mental health whose medication changes them so much they are not the same person any more. Is the cost too great; to sacrifice your self for a few moments of 'normality' when we don't even know what that is?

#mentalhealth #rattlesnake #cyanide #sabreli #goinggoinggone

Dec 2016

SabreLi

Schizophrenia

Words can’t describe the way that I feel
When I look into your eyes
I hear your silent cries
Through the stillness calling out for me
To pull you from the void

I want to reach into your soul
Banish your demons, silence your screaming
I just want to make you whole

I wish I that I could see you fly
Spread your wings and soar up high
But to see you is not to see you
Cos something else wears your face
And to be with you is not to be with you
Cos something else shares your place

Words can’t describe all the things I see
When I look into your eyes
I see through your disguise
Into your soul, staring back at me
Through the windows of your cell

Trapped beneath those layers of pain
Screaming for release, drowning in defeat
I just want to break your chains

I wish I that I could see you fly
Spread your wings and soar up high
But to see you is not to see you
Cos something else wears your face
And to be with you is not to be with you
Cos something else shares your place

Words can’t describe how much pain I keep
Hidden deep behind my eyes
The tears that I don’t cry
You don’t see the scars I hide beneath
I just want to set you free

But I know I won’t see you fly
Spread your wings and soar up high
Cos to see you is not to see you
Since something else wears your face
And to be with you is not to be with you
Cos something else shares your place

Soon you’ll lose control, break your oath
No matter how you fight them, can’t always hide them
And when the time comes they’ll **** us both

Copyright © 2016-2017 KF

Written with dual interpretation in mind. 1) From the viewpoint of somebody in love with a person suffering from schizophrenia, 2) From the viewpoint of a schizophrenia sufferer, written about themselves.

#love #pain #illness #death #disorder #mentalillness #sorrow #schizophrenia #mentalhealth #sabreli

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