My heart stopped at
an early age.
When i started thinking,
What i can be?
Will they like it?
Will they like me?

My own voice got lost,
in the noise of others.
My soul was singing in symphonies,
which my mind cant compose.
No one called out my name.
Neither do I.

It took me a long time ,
to listen to my inner songs,
calling out my name.
It was a moment of epiphany,
Which warmed my cold heart,
Stirred my soul.
And elated me above my fears and scars.

My MISTAKES and ME from my yesterday,
My SCARS and ME from today,
And the WISER ME from tomorrow
are now making up the brightest stars
in the constellation of my life.

I'm sure I look fine.

Days like today,
I want to strip the skin
From my forearms
Using only my fingernails.

Days like today,
I want to wring out
My legs like a washcloth,
Squeeze the rolls on my stomach
Until they're empty.

Days like this,
I want to walk away from my body
forever.

I'm sure I look fine.

My dear friends
Go on and enjoy yourselves
Slumber the morn away!
It seems early on Saturdays
I've always far to much to attempt to convey

While my few kind heart-ed followers
Tend to sleep their mornings hours
Peacefully in and out of REM
While I'm at the computer rhyming again...

It's late
You passed your chance for early waking
Hell you miss out on a great early baking!
And now it's far past time for eggs and bacon
The munches, as you can guess
Have all been forsaken

And what did you achieve
With extra sleep
Morning dreams of distorted thoughts
Poetic themes now subconsciously lost?

I know, I know
You made wonderful love the night before
And you need your beauty rest
I read your writing, I get it
you are so blessed!!!!

I went to bed alone and played
With the thoughts of someone wanting me
I wish my poems could reflect
But all they do is bleed

How I envy all my followers
If I offend
Give me a holler
You've been hanging out late
With a habits to itch
We all have a role to play
Unfortunately  
By the time you get around to reading this
I'll either be asleep
Or on my way!
.....

Yellow flower

I dreamt that I was floating on a cloud of velvet mist
and was a yellow flower that a moon beam hadn’t kissed
I strolled along the treetops like a spider on a thread
while listening to the echoes of a choir dressed in red

Then stood along the border of the place where we once met
and whispered to a butterfly so it would not forget
To gather up some star dust in a braid so finely spun
that we could use to swing away beneath a summer sun

I walked between the lavender in purple blooms so high
that seemed to tickle as I jumped now reaching for the sky
Just wandering about this place where rainbows glow in twos
enchanted by the magic of their brightly colored hues

When there beside a lily pad where crystal waters flow
I saw a perfect smile and my eyes could not let go
And as you stood to greet me I was bathed in wondrous bliss
a lonely yellow flower longing for your moon beam kiss

Your lips like melted butter with some sugar on the side
their taste made me delirious, oh this I could not hide
When then you said, “this is a dream and soon you will awake”
I answered you, “it matters not, your love with me I’ll take”

Its then I woke to find my pillow gently ‘round my head
I thought about the dream I had and all the things we said
Then turning now I see you as your smile comes to me
You whisper,”kiss me yellow flower, my dream you’ll always be”

Some say
I am a Vagabond
in my own flesh carrying a heart
desperate enough to fly with
wounded wings.
My tears look like a
wondering rain-forest filled with
white lilies and baby breath.
My words ache to write you into existence.
Who am I? I am poetry,
but you can call me a Vagabond.

Outside the leaves turn yellow and I’m struggling
My mind becoming my enemy, replaying memories from a time which doesn’t exist to me any longer
Two years ago we became one, something I never imagined
We spent days and days together until you asked me to move in with you
Two years later and five months since we broke up yet it’s all I think about
Cascading liquid tears fall from tired eyes as I remember the life I never wanted to leave behind
My eyes are mourners, dressed in black visiting the gravesite of what we were, together  
Each blink is a silent goodbye to pieces I’m still not ready to leave behind
How do you stop loving someone who gave you everything and seemingly took it away just as fast?
Those moments my heart remembers despite fleeting time and energy
Fall apart, fall asleep and dream of then when leaves changing colours meant falling in love with you and building a family.
A family I still see almost every day, but it’s no longer mine.
So yes, five months after the fact I’m still coming to terms with you being gone.
Feelings I cannot control and memories hovering like an unresolved ghost.
I am haunted by what we were and the fact that you can still look me in the eyes after the way you left without a second glance.
Twenty-nine years old doesn’t make heartbreak any less significant and difficult.
Perhaps someday I’ll be able to make sense of being alone.