Ages, years, days, months…
All night, all day…
Why does this world seem lost in greys?
I wonder if this is too much to be real
Or is it just my vision lost in crepuscule?

I promise, I am not arrogant as you think,
I just— don't know how to act.
I promise, I am not jealous as you think,
I just —crave appreciation for my work out of care.
I promise, I am not someone who loves to ditch our group plans,
I just —prioritize the rules and words my loved ones say.
I promise, I don't love to lie or hide my things,
I just— don't want you all to be disappointed.
I promise, I am not someone who loves to scream every time,
I just—feel disappointment in myself.
I promise, the things you think I never care about,
Those are the literal ones that haunt me everywhere…
Haunt me — self-doubt, questioning myself more than anyone ever could.
And at a moment i wonders—

Don’t I Deserve to be me,too?

When I first saw you, it just felt like usual.
Over the days—studying, growing—
I felt an imaginary warmth in your eyes.

How beautiful the time is...
Without talks, laughs, or gossips,
I had a whole confession shaped in my mind.

Over time, you're still stuck in my eyes,
With the fear: what if a day arrives
When I lose you—officially?

Was it my soul playing,
Or was it just our hearts whispering?
I'm still waiting... to open up completely.

But tangled questions still scare me...
Was it just me, living in a world of imaginary?
I've never felt this way before.
I just hope it won’t break me completely.

I don’t know if you’ll ever know this, but—
Across the universe,
You’re the star I aim to reach.
Not by forcing, hurting, or crying,
But by walking the path of loving.

And even if the universe doesn’t choose me
To be with you someday...
I will still love you—
Being an imaginary root, always

Last time,
with lost grief,
I kept thinking of something,
that never found an answer.

The day I asked the universe:
Why? Why do you never let the world drive by itself—
without your rules, without its taste?
But silence whispered, unexplainably,
Or maybe.. I just didn’t hear.

I see people moaning,
“Oh God! Please call me to yourself!”
But you never call them.

I see people crying,
“Oh God! Please forgive my mistakes, spare my life!”
But I guess... they are your favourites.

From here, from there,
I wonder...
Why do they both ends the same way?
Both cries, only perspectives apart :
one wants to stay, while other wishes to leave.

I asked the universe again:
Why? Why do those who wish to live, eventually leaves...
while those who wish to leave, eventually stays?

Guess what? These questions covered up in the silence again..

It’s been months, unanswered...
Or maybe it’s just unexplainable.

Maybe the universe breathes in paradox.
And that itself is the answer.

—Parisha