For my boys, now grown, but in memory still green.*

Sleep, child, the winter is long
and the harsh winds blow cold,
but in my arms you are warm.
The time will soon be here
when you will wake, grown and alone,
to find me passed from this lonely earth.
The years will fly and you will wake to springs
long after my arms have left you,
long after this lullaby is sung.
But  now I hold you as in a dream
and thank whatever gods may be
that we are here, just you and me.

  ~mce

I think I'm in need of new ***
This one I've worn slap down to the bone
Its thoughts and its deeds no longer suit me
Now that I've gotten this old

I think that it's served out its purpose
Slowing down as it's nearing the end
Not losing all hope yet letting most of it go
As this body's no longer my friend

It'd take too much time to iron out the wrinkles
Best if they were all just replaced
With new and improved fancy free and foot lose
Feel free to start with the face

From there we could go any direction
Once down the front or twice round the back
Putting this body out of its misery
You can take that and chew on the fat

If there's someone out there who could help me
Blink twice or just give me a nod
Not looking here for man of the year
Just in need of a bit better ***

I'm watching you as you watch me
It's breaking my heart to see you cry constantly.
WE have had memories that no one can take away
Even if I left right now, I want you to be ok.

These white walls are screaming and the nurses don't even care.
Feeling so lucky just to have you here.
The drip of the medicine slowly killing me
I only pray for it to be quick, if it is to be.

Life is short like a piece of sand on this beach.
Relationships and building character is what we should seek.
In one hundred years of advancement, we've taken ten steps back.
Perfect love and kindness is what we often lack.

We act so much better than the animals we cage.
Then wonder why mother nature is pouring out her rage.
The earth was freely given with more than enough to supply
When I think of the greed and selfishness, it makes me want to cry.

We are all so worried about what happened in the past.
If we don't start living in the present, our race will not last.
Instant gratification and materialism and power for a false sense of pride.
Are we ever going to adapt and evolve and stop the constant lies.

Friendships that last are hard to find
It takes a lifetime to truly appreciate the genuine kind.
We've been given a brain we are too lazy to use
It's like we're playing a game, in order to win, we have to lose.

My breath is now rattling out of my chest
Maybe now, my soul will finally be at rest.
When I stand at the gates of judgement, I'll smile.
Cuz life only lasts a second, but eternity is a very  long while.

Advice from beyond the grave and back
Love everyone, even those who hurt you, even if they don't love you back.
For the real test of character and spirit within you
Is forgiveness, kindness and always being true.

Meditate, reflect and do your best at everything
Time runs out so fact, you don't even notice it.
So stay the course and on the right path, whatever you do
Never say never, don't give up and be one of the chosen few.

(Recurring Reflections And Beliefs)

Birthday after birthday
i keep looking back...
and find five girls always on my tail,
i see them as my regular paparazzi
when i am in my busiest moments,
when things work out adversely,
against all my best efforts
i find them still tagging along with me...

And then,
i look back at my most trying times
i recall those epiphanies that came to light my way,
how they guided me through,
until i was out of the dark tunnel...
.....until that MOMENT came
when i could hear with just one ear,
i have no regrets, though, or anger within,
for, i could still hear the leaves rustle
when a light breeze blows...
i hear even the dry oak leaves
as they hit the ground,
or when an empty plastic cup
is blown by the wind
from corner to corner of the street...
these days, i am more aware
of the bees buzzing on top of the flowers,
the birds, scattering seeds, helping
create new lives on the ground.....
i still clearly hear the hummingbird flapping its wings,
hovering, as it drinks from the bird feeder,
even as dusk sets in...
i hear the mockingbird...as it closes its wings
and roosts on a pine twig.....

One vital truth keeps me going-
i still have my one good ear
my eyes, my arms, my feet...
always, i am reminded of this question:
why did God endow us with two eyes,
two ears, two hands, two feet?
we lose one, there is still the other
in our daily lives, the same thing applies
among our loved ones and friends,
we lose some, we gain some....
some doors close, another one opens...
second, even third chances are ever waiting,
a fresh start is always there to be claimed...

In this stretch of my life,
i still am faced with choices on paths to take,
those once transitory thoughts
still visit and within me, they stir..
but, reason and good judgment
rise above all...

.....these things, i have realized---
most of what i wanted then...and didn't get,
i have now let go....
selflessness is inevitable,
there are people...things...to be prioritized
over  our own happiness
understanding is important
.....seeing myself here, now,
.....i am happy,
.....i am no longer there
still, i am glad to have been there...

When asked the most puzzling questions,
i have learned to turn
to the wisdom of the children,
i always, always have but one answer....
"...just because...".

At this point and time,
life, still is not perfect...
but i have known how to be calm,
as i face each new day...
perfect, or imperfect,
it doesn't matter anymore,
heart and mind have been honed,
for this knowledge overrules all others:

God is beside me, He is behind me...
He leads me,
He's got me covered...
i have nothing to fear...

(November 13, 2013)


Sally

Copyright November 2013
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

familiar with all weather
broken rims of existence
soliloquies of despair
rainfall in silence

ripples of loud mirth
echoes of joyous feet
stillness of nightly earth
tunes of bitter sweet

romance of blind hearts
oaths of porcelain
stains of leftovers
fragments of bruised skin

lying in broken stones
living on river's face
nothing the ghat owns
but its loneliness.

First gelid dawn
of the dying year.

A crescent moon
shivers above
achromatic frost.

Four crows perch
like fluffy black
lumps of ice
on taut power lines.

Hungry sparrows peck
the severe ground.

The old poet
fears the cold.

Chilled eyes notice
bare ruined trees
and windshields
waiting to be scraped.

The earth has pulled
the covers up
around its neck,
wakes stiff and slow,
but stays in bed.

Cold's bony fingers
probe the old house
like burglars seeking
points of entry.

Still, the chill roads
point toward the
inevitable return
of warmth;
                  spring sits
silent as a cat waiting
for a door to open,
bidding its time
to counterattack.

Even on the most
algid morning
hope slumbers,
but never dies.

  ~mce

I am looking
at my naked self

   you are looking
at it too

my milk-bottle skin
     wisps of hair buttered up
   to the wrist

this is one of those
   mortifyingly awkward
   situations

     like giving a presentation

standing all gangly

an unwrapped
   second-rate present

     that you didn’t really want

   my clothes are
a primary-coloured splash
     by my feet

     and I expect you to talk
  
to cease the blistering
silence in the room
   but you only nod

eyes on me

   slither your bra strap
down one arm

I dread the sound of its passing
and the call of its merry chime
on the hour every day
the price that I pay
for life is a fear of time...

Age is just a number
to keep track of the lines on ones face
it has nothing to do with our character
or social grace.
What truly defines us
is our life experiences;
birth and death
ill health and stress
marriage and divorce
love and *******.

Our age doesn't equate to intelligence or wisdom
its just a stage of the skin that we've lived in
just because we were born on a certain day
doesn't mean we have to act a certain way
in fact the only thing with certainty
is that we're all unique
like snowflakes
what truth we seek
and path we take.

No need to rely on horoscopes
or what's written in the stars
they're just a joke
like tarot cards
our life is our own making
opportunities are there for the taking
so no matter what, never give in.

life is a dream, yet life is dew
life is as precious as a regalia
life is wealth at its own state
life is expensive, can never be bought

life is a game of which we all gonna loose
so let us rejoice & eat fill our belly for tomorrow we shall die
and when death comes, there's no remedy which can help
is true, is never small to have someone living for you

but is never a sin to accept, admit time has come
time to rest forever, forever in your last house
really, sorrow fells over those who have eyes open
if is those who are asleep, they even feel no hunger

they do not bid farewell
death have no day
life is priceless
live enough

Beneath the glowing Christmas lights
That illuminate the dark
There is a world of dark, lost souls
Homeless, sleeping in the park

Among the scattered tinselled trees
On benches and in tents
Lie many, lost and scattered souls
For whom, faith...got up and went

Christmas dreams don't dance around
These people who are lost
They huddle close and tend the flame
To survive and beat the frost

Children skate upon the rink
Laughing, chirping at the snow
While just behind the skating rink
Is a world, they do not know

The smell of cups of chocolate
Tantalizing ...just a taste
But, they dare not move from where they are
They stay hidden , just in case

The Christmas lights show false hope
To those fallen through the cracks
Most of their possessions
Are in carts, or on their backs

It's Christmas time, no matter what
And these people dare to dream
Of a life, like one they came from
A life of sweetness and of cream

The lights hold little wonder
They just signify false hope
For those here in the shadows
At the end of their life's rope

It's better in the darkness
When the lights are put away
When the chocolate smells are missing
It helps keep hunger pangs away

The Christmas lights burn brightly
But not for those who dwell
In the park, behind the ice rink
In a Winter Wonderland of hell

When did you grow old?
I blinked and missed it.
The years were surely
Only seconds in time.
As the grand old trees
Embrace the winter
With the grim resolve
Of that which cannot be avoided,
I find myself wondering,
And fearing,
When the leaves shall fall
For the final time.