Becoming aware, I break from my stare
And wonder how long I’ve been dreaming
The time has come to fight or run
Which sets my busy mind scheming

In my defense I take an awkward swing
What consequence shall my actions bring
To cover the truth or to blatantly lie
Is all the same, it festers inside

Becoming aware, I break from my stare
And wonder if perhaps I'm dreaming

returning home from an evening out,
I'm in bed never later, than 5 minutes after,
which never fails to provoke a
"How can u be in bed so fast?"
same reply, every time,
got you women, got you girl,
to do the nighttime girlie stuff,
so you can kiss your fast asleep man,
a tender good nite...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

puttering punches

woke up energized,
called to muster,
dishwasher emptied,
the fresh grape vine scissored
into manageable bite size clusters,
coffee machine oiled and coiled,
fresh beans and water, dregs downloaded,
if we had a lawn,
I'd rake the invisible leaves

she later arrives,
sees my puttering efforts,
cowgirl mounts me to squeeze the bejesus outta me,
then punches me in the arm
to express her unmeasured pleasure
as is her wont,
me, don't say nuttin', just smilin'
cause I kinda punched first...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

paid bills

paid some bills this morning,
the kind that don't come in the mail,
but eyes read and and the heart knows,
these are dues you need paying,
no questions asked,
no answers given,
checkbook lighter,
but then again,
so is the heart,
the day starts well,
maybe even the year,
a lighter start
for the new year..

I corrupted flesh with mere words
It was as if the moment had
Released,
Injected,
Thoughts
Upon a mind inviting it in.
I had spoken and then was let in
"Could a soul"
"Could flesh"
"Could a mind"
Have been so weak.. Like a voodoo doll,
It was like the needle
Injecting
Movement,
Rationalization,
"Upon a weak craving mind"
A hand full of Strings worded right,
"I was the puppet master of word"
You were not the only strings pulled
\      /      /
/       \    \
\        /      /
  /        \     \
"Corrupted with words"
And even not knowing you were
"One of my puppets"
Fighting your self or so you thought
Free will is an illusion, easily
Tainted, controlled.  
You were lingering on every
Letter,
Syllable.
Words
Were your weakness and
Now mine are **yours..

Pay your quarters
pay your dimes
you're paying for laundromat time
slowly spinning
forgotten
by
Einstein's Theory of Relativity.

Minutes become hours
and
there are still too many hours to go.

Any math class
intense gas
organized religion
waiting for the tow truck,
the bus
in
the pouring frozen rain.

Sitting in the E.R.
with a cut finger
waiting waiting waiting.

Sitting in the hospital room
with an elderly distant relative
you hardly know,
their funeral too.

At the grandparents house
with endless repeats of Judge Judy
on the t.v.
t.v. droning monotoning on and on and on.

Any work day
perpetually two thirty or three,
in meetings with presentations
with more presentations to go,
you're trying to be productive,
but all you know
is
laundromat time
slowly spinning.

Any night of insomnia,
betrayals endless loops,
anxiety rolling through,
following you from one cigarette to another
three o'clock
four o'clock
four-twenty.

Home movies of endless barbeques
I know meaningful to you.

Pictures of people's
cats and dogs
a hundred more to go.

Eight and a half months pregnant,
kiddie soccer on a Sunday morning at 7:30,
the middle school brass band
Friday night at nine,
yes, that's me
passed out and snoring,
laundromat time
a warm blanket
has
put me under.

Anybody else's endless fascinations
say
pictures of weather,
laundromat time sets in
as the
eye lids flutter
narcolepsy sets in with all of this clutter.

So the next time
you're standing in line
and the woman in front is telling
the clerk
every detail you never wanted to know
you'll think about these poor lines
and remember
you're spinning in laundromat time
forgotten by Einstein.

In fact these poor lines
must be feeling that way too
I am going to do you a favor
and
get back to you later.

"Each day is a gift and not a given right."

Stop taking what you have for granted
Appreciate the little things
Everything means something
Everyone wants to feel they're wanted

"Leave no stone unturned"

Try everything once, maybe twice
Look everywhere for opportunities
Never ignore what you truly believe
Remember, this is YOUR life

"Leave your fears behind"

What's the point in being scared
There's always a possibility for pain
Without some breakage, there's no gain
But never jump in blind or unprepared

"Try to take the path less traveled."

Never follow the worn rut in the ground
Make a new, curved path
Leave the past in the past
There's still something amazing left to be found

"If Today Was Your Last Day"**

Would you be ashamed of the steps you've followed?
Would you regret some things from the past?
Would you do anything to take those things back?
Don't, just rejoice, smile. There's no time in life to wallow.