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I don’t know about you
But I’m fleeing this joint
When I kick the bucket

You see, I got atoms to fill
And spaces to claim

No this ain’t no one
Woman show
Staged and such

I've been practicing eternity cuz
This here is the ascent
This here is the way of the masters
And deities w/no baggage
This is The Path of Gods and Goddesses
The Tao of now
*The Way of the One
 Dec 2015 Coleseph Nelzsun
Pax
Lucky are those who have found love
and been loved.

Lucky are those who bear the gift of face.
   Easy is for them to find an easy case
            for their own taste
     - a goal for their own base.

Lucky are those who has an outstanding confidence.
For by it, they don’t live with a doubtful fence.
Freely as they get any wants in their existence.

I give away smiles, pieces of my lies,
        pretending not having rainy skies.
Hiding my Breathless sighs.

Sometimes I am like a rock
   too dull to feel, a surface too rough.
A sense I lost, an unreachable core,
I don’t know how to love anymore.



*© 2014 Pax
to simply say: "I am just unlucky in terms of love"


First of all I want to give my special thanks to all my friends who supports me not in my writing but the me who is inside in every piece I penned. To all of you, it let me believed that I should not give up on love, with that it is enough for me to stay positive… hopeful for someday someone will come and bring spring to my 'cold landscape', bring light to my 'unglowing star' and a home that I could finally call my own to stop being the 'passerby'...

....
Ode To ISIS

(in the Muslim religion if a man wishes to divorce from his wife he does not have to jump through the hoops that we have to jump through;  he only has to say to her seven times:  “I divorce you!”)

ISIS says:
“We love death as you love life”
Don't speak for me, please
Not everyone is as fond of life
As you are of death!

Life has horrors
And as some of us know
We are born and we die
Time after time
We think we come, we think we go.
Some of us know

The only good thing
About this life
Is we can exit forever
Like a man from his wife

I will not be reborn!
I will not be reborn!
I will not be reborn!
I will not be reborn!
I will not be reborn!
I will not be reborn!
I will not be reborn!

Sean Hunt    
2015 in Windermere
I talk to myself sometimes.

I'll just be sitting in the car and I'll strike up a conversation with myself.
And sometimes I can be harsh. I just need to stop fighting myself, you know? Because if I'm not on my side then who will be.

I have so much confidence and I'm always so sure of myself. I never bring myself down. But every once in awhile, I'll get to talking to me. And I'll ask myself if everything is alright. And I start to cry you guys. I cry to myself. Because I have to be honest. I have to be honest with myself. Because if I'm not honest with myself then who will be?

"Hey hey, why are you crying?"
'I'm not doing so well.'
"I can see that my dear but what's wrong. You're so very sweet and pretty and kind. You have plenty of friends and wonderful mind. Whatever could make you so sad?"
'Oh my god stop rhyming that's stupid. No one needs that right now.'
"Okay yeah sorry that was dumb. But you stopped crying so that's good."
'Yeah haha I guess so. Man I'm pathetic. Something is just off about me.'
"Again? Why? I thought we were all sure of ourself and confident and stuff."
'Yeah, so did I. What happened? Why am I so unhappy? '
"You miss who you used to be. You need to stop dodging that."
'I know. How did I lose myself. Why did I do that? This isn't me.
Fancy hair and all these clothes. Since when do you care about how you look? I mean, you look great but you're trying way too hard. That's  not like you.'
"Well, none of these things are bad. They're just different. Sometimes different is good."
'I know. And I'm trying to remember that. But it's hard. It was so much easier before. Before I found out more about who I am. Before I realized that there are some things about me that other people may not like.'
"Yeah, you've always wanted to have people like you."
'Stupid right? It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks right?'
"It shouldn't, but it does. To you. To us. And that's okay. But we can't let it get to us like this. It shouldn't make us cry."
'I know. God why do you have to be the reasonable part of me? I feel so whiny.'
"Sorry."
'It's okay. I just need to be me. If I can find out who I am again. So much has changed. How do I know what's really me?'
"This is you. Who else would write all of this **** down and show it to the world."
'No one I guess. This is pretty stupid.'
"**** right it's stupid. It's really dumb. They probably think you're insane. Talking to yourself is one thing but writing to yourself?"
'Okay I get it stop. You're making me feel bad again.'
"Sorry."
'We gotta get our **** together. What do we do.'
"I don't know. We'll be fine for a few days and all of a sudden we'll be off again. Everyone is worried. And I don't think they're going to stop asking you what's wrong. When you got back from that family trip your sister practically thought you were suicidal. They're worried Christina. And honestly, so am I. We're not like this. And you know what caused this."
'I know.'
"You need to fix it."
'I can't.'
"I know."
'Hey hey, why are you crying?'
"I'm not doing so well."
No need to read this. I just needed to write it for me.
Lucy told me yesterday
I've got to live another way
The little bit of hair that's left
Is getting very grey

She said 'Flap that bodhisattva wing
You've got it all wrong
Your other wing, the wisdom wing
Is way too strong

You are long in the tooth
And there are two types of truth
There are two types of bliss
You're giving one of them a miss

Stop looking for laughs
Mr. Airbrush Man
You keep on covering it up
Whenever you can

Suffering is serious
And it's a sin to smile
While the mice are in such misery
All of the while”

She's not just a pretty face
She can be wicked with her words
Carving morsels of wisdom
That need to be heard

This has been forbidden fruit
For oh so many years
And I can't explain why
I've never given it a try

Maybe
Today
Will be the day?

Sean Hunt
Windermere December 17th
A sick world
Makes sick people, and
When people ignore
The world's sickness,
It serves only to
Perpetuate their own, as
They live on
In protracted agony,
Battling their innermost
Fears, sorrows, and anxieties
While so very often
Remaining oblivious
To the causes, and
Blaming themselves.
Suicide rates are the highest they've been in 25 years; nearly 1/10 of Americans are on antidepressants; "the number of patients diagnosed with depression increases by approximately 20% each year"; as of 2011 "Antidepressant prescribing has risen nearly 400% since 1988" "Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18% of the population. (Source: National Institute of Mental Health)" You get the idea. At this point, it seems apt to step back and take a look at the bigger picture. Is it the patients who are sick, or is this a systemic problem arising from the impersonal and unstable society we inhabit?
A wise man once said:
“Wrong life cannot
Be lived rightly” [1]
Many become aware of
This fact, but rather than
Taking action, they instead
Resign themselves, to
Hopelessness and despair,
As doubt rears its ugly head,
Asking: “what can one person do?”
All the while, neglecting the fact
That this world overflows with
People who are just like they are,
Each of them “just” one, and
Each alone bearing the same burden,
Indeed, on the back of “just” one,
This burden is crushingly heavy, but
On the backs of many, it becomes
Lighter than a fallen leaf
Adrift in the autumn breeze.
Let's not forget that when this country was founded, people who owned no property couldn't vote, black people were slaves, women had no rights, child labor was legal, and the working day was 12-16 hours. All of these conditions were overcome by means of popular struggle. The ruling class would prefer that we atomize and detach from one another; ignoring this rich, wondrous history, and eschewing politics. Will we appease them?

[1] Theodor Adorno
If you live in the US,
Your tax dollars fund
Drone strikes, that
**** children, and a
Military, that
Bombs hospitals, but
Oh, well
Football's on,
Whatever.
protip: don't pay your taxes
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