The truth is I don't know where I stand
On the most important issue that has always puzzled man

So many different people claim to hold the keys and the solution
Those raised up with one belief never search for their own conclusions

They experience encounters that they claim are more than mental
But fail to realize the Bible is as inconsistent as my academic schedule

Those from different religions are ****** to burn in hell
Yet their religion is as real to them as yours is to yourself

Where you focus faith and energy in puts you on a path
A lifestyle and way of thinking that could be good or could be bad

The mind is very powerful; it can bring peace or strife
Religion has caused mass pain and death but also joy and life

But why must we trust in a force that's clearly nowhere near?
If God is love and has plan then why is he not here?

He created us to know him so why can't we clearly see his will and plan?
We refer to God as he so maybe he's just a man

I'm not saying your religion for a fact can not be real
But use your brain to access logic and don't be such a schill

Thoughts of the future are like hammers banging the anxiety gong of my mind

It rings through me and its vibrations send worries about the unknown and guilt about things I have already done or have no control over

The good news is that there is a way to quiet this gong

As I aimlessly wander and sit in nature, I initially feel guilt because I have left the cult of "doers"

I am doing absolutely NOTHING

And to the vigilant capitalistic robots of this society, ceasing to "do" is the greatest sin of all

The hardest part of the battle is to defeat this conditioning

To rise above this guilt and simply be with myself, is a great victory indeed

Time slows as thoughts of the future are no longer weighing down the present moment

The residual hangover that is the result of a lifetime of drinking the poison of worry, still lies with me, but everything no doubt seems to take a turn toward... Not perfection.. Not even always happiness.. But certainly peace.

What was the fuel that drove you into the present and will drive you into the future?
What was the motive for the bridges burned and or moments wasted?
Was the yearning for change a longing for the past?
Or was the only thing that mattered the present since the past and future seemed more and more like a grand illusion with every present moment that presented itself to a conscious mind that could not truly fathom the concept of consciousness itself?
Would the greatest of discoveries just lead to more questions?
Where can we find truth? Who are we? Who aren't we?
It doesn't make sense.
But doesn't that make it all the more beautiful?

Sometimes I think I would be freer without the pleasures of my life
For parting with a good thing hurts like the stinging blade of a traitors knife

Why can't the good things be the norm instead of the exception
If you believe that anyone is always happy you've been tricked by their deception

Because to balance is to live
With only take there is no give

I am on a rock that's flying through space
But all I want to do is just see your face
No moment in time could ever replace
The way that I felt within your embrace

-People are beginning to do what I call awaken
-They all have understood by now that they were once mistaken
-Lost within their selfishness and blind to real relations
-That every being on this earth is a valuable creation
-You can't define your own self-worth with society's invasion
-Of your mind and spirit; a twisted slow persuasion
-You thought that all your value was built on superficials
-Like who you know and what you own and if you seem official
-But realize in the end that **** only hurts and stresses
-Deep within you's where you'll find solutions to life's messes
-Finding inner peace at last because you chose to choose acceptance
-Its feeling everything that comes because when you live life happens
-Its forgiveness, mercy, joy and pain
-Its sunny days and storms of rain
-Whatever happens or has occurred
- See it all for what it is
- Its beautifully absurd

I know how much she cares for me and I care for her to
But if I said I wanted to be with her that just would not be true
I can only go so far to make her night with my attention
In the morning there is emptiness
Because between us are different intentions
Yes I know the pain and the feeling of rejection
Which is why I lead her on this way but avoid a real conection

-When you start to spiral towards the hopeless
-You need to somehow gain new focus
-Because truth will always shine its' light and scatter lies like locusts
-Sometimes truth is not convenient but face it all the same
-Since the dawn of man our lives never have been tame
-We all owe it to each other to run this complex race
-Take a hand when it is offered and share the burden of your pain
-No one is the author, at least that's how it seems
-There is no rhyme or reason to the morbid and obscene
-But we CAN control our minds to shape how we perceive
-Happiness is our own choice, so breathe deeply and just be

The sun does not care who delights in it or who grits there teeth and hides their eyes from its blazing light
It just continues to shine on
The sun does not discriminate on whom it will share its warmth with
It shines on sinners and saints; on beggars and the rich; on villains and heroes

Another year older on this spinning flying rock
Hopefully today someone ***** on my ****

If not I won't be mad
Its not all that bad
Because the last few years I've grown so much as a man

My mind and my soul have surely matured
I've learned how to laugh even when I'm perturbed

Had my heart broken and healed and broken again
Grown stronger from pain and found self love within
I know life's not a game but you can still win

Happiness is within me and the way I interpret
A good life is a choice, so how it is now will always be perfect

Body? What's the definition of the word.... body..... a coalition of..... anything? Bodies bodies bodies.....
I'm baked

Your greatest teacher is your past
But you must make THIS moment last
No matter if you win or lose
To be here now is what you choose
Experience the bliss of living
Never stop your constant giving
Spread your joy and light and passion
Sport it like the latest fashion

Stored away within the cellar of you soul

You keep good deeds never done and stories never told

These items stored will serve no purpose

So just give them away

A compliment, a smile, or hug, can change somebody's day

Give and give, then give some more because you can't run out

The love will just keep on returning; this fact I do not doubt

What you had, provided stability
What you had also caused countless moments of toil, discomfort, and an overall sense of stagnation
What you had, threw you to the side
Rejected; no need for you there anymore
Well if they don't need you
You don't need them
You weren't growing anyways
You were stagnant
And deep down you will always dispise mediocrity
In you or in anyone else
So reject it before it rejects you

TRUST YOUR HEART. TRUST YOUR GUT.*

The head often tends to get in the way.

We are like a river that strains to flow with all of its longing

But we choose instead to hold back our nature with dams we construct

Dams of fear and doubt

Of ego and shame

Of hatred and lies

Don't drift away
But rather stay
Keep on drifting every day
But don't drift away

Don't disappear
Just stay right here
Keep on living every day
But don't drift away

You go missing
When your mind is drifting

You drift so far that you miss today
So don't drift away

So many people mistake facts as the answers to life's mysteries

In reality, facts are just clues

Along the path of an infinitely large and undiscovered map

Leading to an ultimate treasure

That is truth

Hope is a fire that life can put out
But it can be rekindled that I don't doubt
The first thing to do when you start to feel down
Is to accept your life for what it is right now
Right now you are aching and empty inside
You start to imagine how it may feel to die
You then take a look at the moon in the sky
Feel your heart beating let tears fill your eyes
Embrace the feeling even if bad
Because your alive and its life to be sad
Know that your different and that's what makes beauty
I assure you that no one feels quite what your feeling
Your soul is an artist that longs to be free
So don't hold it back, let it rage like the sea

The prison you have painted around yourself
You don't even realize your in
When you lie to yourself you harm your mental health
Don't blame this on Satan or sin

Turn your eyes away from all the ******* and the drama
- Start to relocate into your own perfect Nirvana
- Don't be filled with doubt or fear cuz that **** is irrilavent
- Running from your past will make you tired in the present bit
- Don't sit around and wish all day like a helpless peasant
- Stand up boy and face your fear, if its rising up don't let it
- Knock down those thoughts before they come or else you will regret it
- Run fast towards joy and love and you'll perfect your incarnation
-You'll realize sharing inner light brings endless inspiration

I spread my arms and tilt my head and let the sunlight bathe me
The smile on my face is wide and worries they are fading
The river runs and current swirls in a glorious way yet lazy
It passes me and reflects green trees that stand so sure and greatly

I feel more than at home right now, this is a deeper love
Blame it on my hippie mind, but nature is my drug

What a vast limitless universe we live in

It is daunting when you realize the likely miniscule effect that one individual will have on our planet's societies alone

You can do so very little

So the worst mistake

Is to do nothing

Everything that happens has happened can't you see
Everything that happens to happen to you and me

Everything that happens they say happens for a reason
And when it does it brings a change and shift of seasons

Whether it is fate or all random in the end
Let's just accept the truth and realize now and then
Things like this happen and they happen fairly often
These things won't stop until your laying in your coffin

I'm over you completely, your not stuck on my mind
But bits of you that lit my world must deep within reside
Because its in my dreams that you time to time appear
And I feel your really there because my heart beat I can hear
But I can't say you haunt me, 'cause these dreams don't bring fear
They bring the heightened state of councious I got when you were near

I see so much **** on here that is strictly negative. I get that great art, especially poetry comes from sadness and dark places. But it seems like there is never ANYTHING positive on here. There is beauty in positivism too you know. In rising OUT of the ashes.  In getting up and doing something about the state you are in instead of dwelling on it. I wanna see some poetry about how you are fighting your depression not basking in it. About how you are moving on from the ******* that wrecked your heart not dwelling on them like your Adele or Taylor Swift or some other sad sap victim that this weak society looks up to... All right rant over.
I guarantee you I will get **** for this. Bring it on.

Your there when you no longer doubt yourself
When you can just breathe and feel no pressure to act, speak, or think
When your essence is beaming with the inner light that resides within every human being
When you feel complete acceptance to the point of forgetting all of your faults, shortcomings, and imperfections

Is it real to you?
Sitting there with a set jaw and intense stare
I know you are a logical person
Could such a story ring true in such a brilliant mind?
A God who sent himself to die for the creation he made
As a part of his own plan to glorify himself
To show the love he has for his "sons and daughters"
Despite this love
He continues to send people like me
And people who are ten times the human I will ever be
To burn in hell
For eternity

They say that to feel everything so very deeply
Is both a blessing and a curse
Nothing could be more true
I don't truly want her
Not in the way that she wants me
The spark just isn't there
But I care for her so much
That to reject her now
Would crush her
And in turn crush me
But to be disingenuous with my desire
Is like starving to death instead of just biting the bullet

If only it was as easy as just understanding..
Belief with parallel action is what we need to master
Most of us know what we need
Many of us know what the world needs
Few of us act on that enlightenment
Therefore remaining unenlightened
If only it wasn't so easy just to remain a bull *******

The urge to attain is a curse that will steal the beauty of the present moment
Chasing this urge is the trap that all of us fall into
In the chase you will never be content with where you are
Because there is always somewhere better
There is always something else
Someone else
So I have stopped chasing
I have surrendered my will to the rivers of fate and I will float down this river until it takes me across the great divide

In a condescending tone I hear the way you judge my life
At first I want to take offense and give into the strife

Then I take a step back and objectively observe
I realise your the one who's lost you proved it with your words

You asked me shallow questions only focussed on externals
Then judged me based on made up scales that give no weight to the internal

Its proof to me that this same scale you use on your own life
And soon you will not measure up and fall on your own knife

Because you never can be good enough,  at least not for forever
Your shiny stainless ego will soon rust from stormy weather

Even when you manage your external mission
Your internal demons will still be there at the end of the day
We have mastered the projection of our image as human beings
But the deep issues we keep barried in our subconscious
We are not fulfilled at our deepest level Because we search for happiness in all the wrong places
There is a bias in society to focus all of your energy on a false definition of external success
But work on your soul is completely neglected

I gotta learn to love me for all that I am
For all that I'm not
With all that I have

I gotta learn to trust me
For what I am doing
For who I am now and for what I am pursuing

Cuz one day I'll need to let me
Let me just fade
Into oblivion
Where my body decays

You may well feel as though you have found the key, the missing link, and the answer
But know that this is only temporary
Like the receding tide, this sense will fade away
Deep inside you will feel it again
The unfulfillment
It will continue ro return
Untill you truly realize that you are already fulfilled
Your existence is the collective breath and entropy of source
You fulfill your purpose simply by realizing who you are
And you do this, only by letting go of all you THINK you are
All you call yourself
All that they call you
What can harm you when you discover this truth
This awakening

What is better than a perfect success story?
Simple
A story where the hero is knocked down over and over only to find the strength to get up again and keep pushing forward
A life with only peaks and no valleys is like a story with no tragedy
Like a movie with no suspense
Where is the novelty in a predictable flow of butterflies and rainbows?
The risk of loss and the conquering of darkness is just as beautiful as the most wonderful pleasures that this world has to offer

If I can't be your rock
Let me be your stepping stone
Use me as you walk
Up the steep path toward your throne
Whether you just want to talk
Or feel your heart's come home
I can be the harbor's dock
In life's ocean where you roam

The essence of striving
Breaking my will till I feel like I'm dieing
**** mediocre I'm yelling and writhing
Breaking platues 'cause I live to keep climbing

What is this in me that lives for the pain
People who don't do this they call me insane
But I'm not here for glory or to make a name
I'm here to prove to me that my will makes me change

You always have to have an answer
To every why and every what
Its like a rotting horrid cancer
That eats your inner trust

Time to slow the pace and let down your sails to drift
Stop talking and just hear your life
To listen is a gift

Don't just listen with your ears but with your entire being
Because only when you soak it up will everything have meaning

The need to be understood can be compared an unceasing itch or an executioners hood
Holding me hostage to self-deprecation
Leaving me feeling so empty and vacant
But when I stop placing value on the perception of others, I learn to accept critics as sisters and brothers
Whether you love me or hate me, I'm here till the end
Just being myself with no need to pretend
And just being me is so very fulfilling
I feel more alive, and honest and giving

I lie here, secure and warm in my own bed

But something lurks within this darkness and I swear to myself its not just in my head

At the age of five to my mother I said
That dark scary creatures watched me while I had slept

I'm 22 years old now and its not just the creatures
Its more often dark presences that lack any features

A fear all past darkness could never create
I sense them and feel them in a half-councious state
They whispered my name; just that thought makes me shake

Call it a dream, call it insanity
Its as real to me as my waking reality

What I am becoming is hard to put a finger on
Lots of what I thought was me seems at times to be completely gone

Maybe this is why some old folks get so bitter
Looking at things from their perspective sure can make me shiver

But I also know that I can still hold onto my old self
The happy me the hippie me, thats better for my health
But to be honest it can get boring and life must be a journey
I like to feel all types of ways even if its me I'm hurting

"Don't waste your hate. Rather gather and create. Be of service. Be a sensible person. Use your words and don't be nervous. You can do this you got purpose. Find your medicine and use it." - Nahko Bear

Our medicines are the gifts and passions that make us so uniquely elegant
Still those who doubt and hold you back will say those things aren't relevant

But it must be shared and given to heal others and your self
This does not just concern your purpose; its an issue of your spirit's health

Stare into your beautiful eyes
See the lenses through which you have captured endless moments
Now they look back into themselves so deeply and strain with all they have to know themselves

To know you

To know me

To know anything

To know everything

I turned my eyes to the stars and gazed into infinity
In that moment all of my problems were put into true perspective
I lost sight of them completely
All that mattered was that I was an individual
Existing on this rock we call earth
Hurtling through the cosmos
How lucky am I?
To possess this human incarnation with boundless potential
To live on this beautiful planet
For the first time since my heart had been
broken
I began to cry
Not tears of sadness
Not even tears of joy
Tears of gratitude

Let down your walls
Your defenses must fall
To truly feel the fire that runs through us all

Because there's no limmit to the love we could share
You dont want to admit it, like your heart is not there

Fear will keep you from falling its true
But when fear is your compass you can't truly be you

Nothing matters?
But “nothing” is a concept we can never experience since we are all something
Yet nothing has to be something
Because everything is something
So nothing has always mattered

Find what makes you feel okay
Okay?
Find what makes you feel okay, if you have to search or pry pray, okay?
Its in you that you will find, you've been okay
You'll be okay
You are okay
So be okay
Okay?
CUZ even in the pouring rain your still okay
The rain won't stay, but rains okay
And you'll find what makes you feel okay

I just need this and nothing more
Call me shallow or a *****

But I'm a man who's neglected desire
And you turned me on and started a fire

I want to breathe into your neck
And swim in all of you that's wet

I want to see you squirm and squeel
Oh how good I'll make you feel

If to love you was a gamble, I would be all in
If wanting you was taboo, oh you know that I would sin
If it took miles and miles of climbing, I would not give in
Just to hold you darling I would **** a hundred men
But I know that as of lately you could never feel the same
So when I am around you, girl I go straight insane
I want you to be happy and happy you do seem
But I've never felt the same since the night you stayed with me
Did you want to crush me, did you try to lead me on
Or was I just an object to you, something warm and strong
You gave me hope of having you because right then I did
And despite all the pain it put us through I'd do it all again
Because it seemed so real
So genuine and clean
You made me so **** happy
Time spent with you was a dream

Soon I will find love again and probably get hurt
I hope your there to pick me up when I fall in the dirt
Maybe we can't be together, yes I understand
But I don't have to own you, I have no demands
I want you to be happy and I want to move on
But please don't ever think that means I want you to be gone
I still want to laugh with you about this mess called life
I still want to listen, and offer up advice
I still want to be a friend, not just a passing nod
Don't let one mistake you made make all that's right feel wrong

Justifies the bad
Takes credit for the good

Convinces you to go to war
And that your desires make you a *****

Your weird if you don't like our junk food
And you better not express your real mood

Your personality is not your own
And if it is your all alone