Did you know?
The emptiness that would follow
The tears failed to be swallowed,
Dark storms sailed captainless and rudderless while our gallows hallowed

The emotions that you caused
Happiness paused
Future dreams torn at seams like your vests and jeans my thoughts shadows taken over what your brightness gleamed

The wake you left
Shoulders you gave heft
The tissues you wrecked
The fears of death

But

Do you know the lives you touched
The songs you crushed
The love not rushed
Our emotions crutch

Do you know what you inspired
Me back to trying
Dogs being loved from desire
Stories of laughing not crying

I guess what I am trying to say
Is did you know what you meant to us, did you know what you meant to me.....did you know?

I don't miss half full coffee cups.
Everyday you wouldn't finish, and just leave it there.
5 maybe 6,
but it got to the point I'd walk right by them and stare.

I don't miss being forced to ignore my loved ones.
I have to admit your family is really fun,
but I shouldn't have to ignore my family because yours can't let go of someone.

I don't miss petty arguments,
you never doing the dishes,
letting you down feeling like punishment,
or our future being built on wishes.

but

There are a few things I do miss.


The feeling of a home, coffee on the couch on our days off.
Stupid jokes that didn't make me feel alone, and the memory of forgetting love's cost.

I miss waking up from nightmares feeling your hand on my back,
all the love I had that is for sure.
But what I miss most is something you now lack,
what I miss most is the person I thought you were.

I was taught to add and subtract at the age of four. My twenty year old mother would sit me down on the grass while waiting for my aunt to get out of high school, and teach me my numbers on her big, scarred hands. I was five when I realized something that would change me for the rest of my life. The number six and the number four are both just one away from being a solid five.
At six years old, my classmate and I were given our daily snacks. My friend had gotten six crackers, while I got four. I asked, “may I have a *******?” She reminded me that I had already gotten my napkin-full of crackers. “But if you give me one, we will both have five.” She bugged her eyes at me.
“I wanna have more,” she said. I shook my head at her, and ate my four crackers.
I wanted to participate in my elementary school’s food drive when I was ten years old, and in fifth grade. I was motivated to make a change for families in need of canned food. When I went home and asked my mom for cans, she explained to me that the cans that my schoolmates were donating would probably end up in our pantry, because we get our food from the local foodbank. I looked up at our pantry. I saw some dusty cans in the back that hadn’t been touched, and multiple cans next to them. I then remembered when we didn’t have even one can, and thought of the families who didn’t have even one can right then. And then I thought: But we have six, and they have four...
A homeless man and I both had five the day I bought him a sandwich when I was fourteen.
My best friend had four when she was sexually abused, and I gave up one when I shoved past the school security guards and got her to the hospital at the age of fifteen.
The year I turned sixteen I figured I had six when I realized there was an unfairness at my school. I gave my fellow students one when I convinced the principal to make a change about it, after being sent to him for disturbing the class with my speech.
I gave up one of my six when I turned seventeen and wrote the inspiring story of my brother’s car crash, for all of the people with four in their broken hearts.
As long as I have six, I will continue to give one. I won’t stop until everyone has five, and the world is one big ten.

someone asked me out,
he could have been perfect...
but i said no;
i don't date, i have too much baggage
but that was a lie.
i see people all the time
i just don't see love,
not since the day you left
and took my heart with you...

2nd place is what I always seem to come,
far away from being last but I never get to be first.
I shouldn't be complaining it probably sounds dumb,
But you should know the feeling so you can be alert.

They will start by making promises and keeping them.
Then they make excuses    " sorry I forgot ***"
It only happens a couple of times at first,
Then a long break in between,
Suddenly waking up wondering why I'm crying in my dreams.

How can I try to be everywhere and feel lost?
Dedicated to love while suffering its cost.
At the end of the day when sunlight fades to grey you keep lying to yourself saying "love will pave the way" when excuses are all they have left to say.

"I cant"

"I don't feel well"

"I'm tired"

"I need to be on my own for a spell"

Why do I come in 2nd place?
Shoved to the back of the line while I wait.
Mr. Cellophane,
walk right by while I wait.
Mr. Cellophane,
see through me to empty space.

Don't crumble me up and put me in the trash,
all I wanted was the promises you promised me at last.
No excuses,
keep the promises you made in the past and stop leaving the person who loves you to last.

You have time money and energy for everyone else.
I am sorry but you keep putting me behind everyone else.
How can I love when I barely feel love myself?
I'm trying to find fun and adventure for our health.

How come you always come first and no body else?

How come in a world so connected we feel so isolated and disconnected?
I can view maps of China in barley five seconds but we feel uncomfortable trying to learn a lesson.
So lets seek answers and ask the question,
I ask again, how come in a world full of connection you can feel so isolated, depressed and without protection?

Is it our computers and TV screens?
The filters on instagram making everything clean?
Or is it our materialism causing death to our kindness, hopes, and dreams?

What happened to writing, reading, and talking?
Now its DM's, snap chats and secretly gawking.
Kids are gaming and don't get vaccines, more focussed with what's on TMZ, Facebook and memes.

Even with music there are no records, only singles.
In love you don't fall any more, you just mingle.
They would rather have a one night memory and let it pass instead of taking every moment into and album and showing what can last.
No one feeling at home we constantly wander, while many parents don't truly know their own sons and daughters.

What is the point of gaining followers if you don't have a real life?
We are in control of the buck of the knife, but we only cut away the things of emotion in life?
*** can be on the front page but don't talk of depression.
Celebrities are more respected than politicians yet we want their lessons?
We use to idolize Churchill, Mackenzie and Kennedy.
Now its Rhianna, Beyonce, and Yeezy?
Are you kidding me?

How come in a world of connections we have a lack of protection?
In a world of detection we break down and divide into sections?
We all speak of being good and holy but did we actually try or just pretend to learn the lesson?
How come we can talk and meet people all day without leaving our home, but at the end of the day a lot of us still feel alone?