Pada akhirnya, yang mengerti
adalah bayangan dan diri sendiri
Sementara orang lain mati,
pergi tanpa sempat kembali

Pada akhirnya, yang berkeras hati
adalah jantung yang menolak berhenti
Sementara kaki mulai lelah berlari,
meraung ingin menyudahi

Pada akhirnya, yang abadi
adalah sunyi dan sepi
Sementara mimpi-mimpi,
hilang tergerus tanpa arti

I sip my morning coffee religiously
but lately my two shots doesn't feel
as bitter as it used to be

Perhaps that's the thing about life;
you get used to bitterness so much that
you can no longer distinguish which one is which
since everything tastes all the same

Or perhaps, the thought of you crossed my mind
and all the pain suddenly comes rushing back
as if I am being tormented for the sins I didn't commit

My wounds are burning; they’re still half-open
almost to the point it's unbearable for me to mend
had I known the bruise would left me scars this deep
I would have walked the opposite direction that day

Opportunity knocks you once
but certainly not twice

So this is it—the final closure
of what I would forever call
an almost;
a road not taken
a missed connection;
a wasted second chance;

We may have everything
but never time

Substance over form
depth over surface

Layers by layers—
see me raw

The clock is ticking

Time is fleeting before my eyes

It almost feels like
all these moments
turned into memories
in a blink of an eye

Oh, dear Time

Please, please, please
slow down a little bit
freeze if you would

Please, please, please
I'm started to lose grips
of everyone; everything

Why do humans tend to appreciate life
when it feels like they are losing their grips?

"Do you believe in love?"

she shook her head.

"Well, you know what love does to people—destruction," she whispered quietly.

his astonished eyes stared at her with wonder and confusion.

"Being in love means you'd be willing to sacrifice and risk everything for it; or even worse, fight against anything that against it. All my life, I only witnessed the kind of love that ruin one another."

"Look at Bonnie and Clyde. Look at ******'s love for his Arya race. Look at Confessions of a Shopaholic. Look at Gollum. There's a thin line between obsession and love, and sometimes you can't tell which one is which."

her eyes looked far across the city; as if she was longing for something. perhaps, he thought, it's true that woman is an open book, it's just most men don't read and it's written in ancient Greek.

"But how about your Mom? How about the owner of animal shelter? How about the Environmentalist? How about the firefighters and crisis call center officers?" he responded.

and in that very moment, she knew she was in safe hands.

here we are

looking at grief in the eyes
sitting side by side with the pain
without it we won’t be standing still,
firmly; and as resilience; as tough;
as brave as we are right now

somehow deep down, we knew
when the strom was going to hit us,
and perhaps we didn’t remember
how we managed it through;
how we managed to survive

at last,

we made it to the shore
though in crumble and collapse
the storm don’t last forever;
it's over in the end

& so i fill,
i fill,
i fill;
every void
every space
every hollow
with my own
until it’s spilled
& reach the edges
until it’s full enough
that it doesn’t require
anyone else—but myself

in French they don't say "i miss you"
but rather "tu me manques"
or "you are missing from me"

so tell me,
was it your presence that is missing?
was it your warmth against mine?

there is this big void in my heart
waiting to be filled
it longs for your shadow

My dear,

the scars in your body is a map
and a living proof

of how far you've gone
and how you survived

despite every madness
and chaos that restrain you

And just like waves;
this too shall pass

I wish one day
I'd be lucky enough
to meet someone
who speaks my language
so I don't have to spend
a lifetime
translating my soul

give me your hands
take mine in yours
let me trace the lines of your palms
let me feel them against my own

for some souls are never strangers to begin with
and if many lifetimes do exist
i will ask for you in each of one
i'd pray to find you then—through them all

but if perhaps not in this life,
i hope you'd stumble upon a heart
that resembles yours