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angela Jan 2015
you said "i love you"
next thing i know
i was drowning
so deep
in the ocean you've created
an ocean of lies

my words
do you hear them?
i'm calling out to you
saying i love you as well
but they're lost in the ocean
along with all your other lies
just like a sailor drowning at sea

no way to escape
i'm drowning in deeper
and deeper
sinking slowly
your words swallowing me whole
buried deep under your lies

maybe i'll like it better over here
compared to the reality where
you don't love me
and you're not mine
angela Dec 2014
your eyes
just like crystals
they shone with such beauty
that little glimmer in your eyes
when you smile
is magic
i miss being the magician
who brought that glimmer

your lips
were a shade of red
just like wine
and i was ready to get drunk
on them
after being sober ever since
you left

your dimples
are so deep
it was almost as if they had
a treasure buried beneath them
a treasure which is only known
when you're smiling
i miss being that treasure


who knew how all your imperfections
joined together can create something so beautiful
you were almost like a constellation
a bunch of stars lined together
messy but magnificent
angela Dec 2014
like a tsunami;
the thoughts of you,
the memories of us;
they flood my mind,
without a warning,

my love for you
were the tidal waves
and you were the shore
because no matter how much
you pushed me away
i'd come right back to you
just to be pushed away again

you came into my life
like a tsunami
you drowned me whole
i'm still sinking
deep into our memories,
the memories we made,
when you were still
in love with me
and i never wanted
to be rescued

you were the tsunami
of my life
a chaos caused by
the beautiful mother nature

when you left,
i finally understood
why were tsunamis natural disasters.
angela Dec 2014
we've all waited for something
or even someone at one point of our lives
there are a few kinds of waiting
we've all gone through

the wait we go through
while waiting for a bus, a train,
or even for the cake in the oven
to be done ,
for your favourite tv series,
for your best friend's birthday,
or your anniversary with your loved one
this is the kind of wait where we know
what we're waiting for will come to us
pain won't exist in the process of this wait
because we are sure that the wait will be over
sooner or later
dates of the days we marked down
on the calendar or
times of the days we set a reminder for
in our phones
they are constant and there forever

there's another kind of waiting
that we all have gone through too
at some parts of our lives
the kind of wait we go through while
waiting for our lives to get better,
or waiting for our loved ones
while they are fighting for
their lives in the emergency room,
or for the one you love who
left you a long time ago
to come back,
or for a second chance
this is the kind of wait
where no one knows when
will the waiting ever end
the kind of wait where it
might not even have an end
going through this breaks your heart
day by day
you start to question and wonder
when will this end?
will this even end?
even though not knowing of how
things might come to an end
we still wait like this because of
the hope we are still hanging onto,
holding onto for our lives because
if we were to ever let go,
we'd fall down and usually
the fall hurts

but what if,
what if the first kind of wait
turned into the second one?
what if,
your best friend never
makes it to her birthday
because all this time she
stayed up late was to
fight away her demons that
won her in the end
what if,
your anniversary no longer exists
because you found that
all the texts that read
"not coming home for dinner,
pulling an all-nighter in
the office to finish the assignments"
actually meant
"not coming home for dinner,
staying over in her house to finish what
we didn't last night"
you realize that
all the "i love you's" you've
ever told them in the
form of messages
were being read by them
on someone else's bed
or being read by someone else
who eventually deleted the text
after reading it
what if,
what you've been waiting for
never comes even when you were
so sure that it would?

in the process of waiting
the minutes,
hours, days, years
we spent waiting for what
we thought we knew would come
can turn into
hours, days and years
of the longest wait
for what we thought
we would never lose
and the days we marked down
on our calendars,
the times we set a reminder for
on our phones,
will still be constant
because the earth will still spin
in the direction
it always had

everything may still look
the same as it always was but
little do we know,
everything is slowly changing
and when we look back
we will realize how different
things actually were

time is a disability,
that blinds us from reality
time is a thief,
that takes away what's precious to us
time is a murderer,
killing us with each second we've
spent on waiting.

-a.l.
wrote this quite awhile ago but, thought i'd upload it here haha idk why. kinda ***** though.
angela Nov 2013
let me fix you
he said
please don't
she said

she needed
no fixing
all she ever
wanted was for him
to love her
while she fixed herself

please
please let me fix you
he begged

and there goes
another one
pushed away
by her

why did she?
why do we
tend to
push away
those who
love us?

she only did it
to protect him
from her

she did not want
him to cut himself
on her broken pieces
while he fixed her

she loved him
and so she
chose to be
selfless instead
of selfish
angela Nov 2013
she was
an artist
of her
own twisted
kind of art

she paints
with razors
instead of paintbrushes
and her skin
as the canvas

she cuts open
her wrists
hoping her sadness
will leave
her system tonight

she slowly drags
the blade
across her skin
freeing her
bottled up sadness

she found
a healing
in the process
of wounding herself

feelings in the
form of blood
leaving her soul
flowing out
of her
angela Oct 2013
when i was little
my mom told me
monsters hid under my bed
little did i know
the real monsters
were us humans

when i was little
my teachers told me
i could be anything
i wanted to be
little did i know
that society would
judge me for doing so

when i was little
my friends told me
that we will always be
best friends forever
little did i know
that they'd betray me
and leave me alone

when i was little
i told myself
i am going to grow up
to be a princess
little did i know
that i'd grew up to be
a sad teenager
who wants to be dead
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