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She's not a girl who talks about falling in love,
and write about it.
She talks about broken heart, uncertainties, pain, and reality.

She's not a girl who loves cute dress, heels, and glitters;
and wear it like the other girls.
She wears t-shirt and sneakers.

She's not a girl who is sensitive enough to read someone's eye,
and guessing their feelings.
She doesn't give a **** about someone's feelings.

But there will be always that one guy who change everything;
Everything about her;
her perception;
her heart.

Because now,
She talks about love, and she writes about it. Every night.
She tries to wear a cute dress and has some makeup on.
She knows what's in his eye and knows his feelings.
Dear you,
If someday you finally open my page,
and found a bunch of poems that I wrote about you,
Please don't mad.
I really don't want you to read these crap,
I tried to change my username and web address; but still, can't.

Dear you,
If someday you finally read all of my feelings, all of my hopeless poems;
leave it there.
Try not to talk about it; try not to question me about it.
leave it there.
Pretend that you didn't read any of those;
Pretend that you didn't try to search my name on google.
leave it there.

Dear you,
but my feelings are true.
all of my poems are about you,
*but please leave it there.
Every time I looked into or even glanced any social networks
it always came with a furious  "What are you doing, hm? Why are you liking guys pictures?"
"Babe, their my friends, I've known them for a long time. "
, which later will blow up into arguments on "Why can't it just be us?"
My world was shrinking by the minute, and my heart shriveling up.
"It's okay" I would convince myself.
It will get better.
He will change.
It never did
The arguments became frequent
The isolation became the norm.
Being in a room alone would be my job.
Just to please this man.
My friends would tell me
"Leave  hes not good for you anymore"
Stubbornly I would stay.
Arguments would end up being yelling matches.
At one point he raised his hand to me.
These red flags I ignored because
I thought I found the one.
I cut my friends, and left my family
to live a life with him.
Until one day I thought,
"Is this even right?"
I talked to friends, which all said the same thing
"Leave"
Hell , I even flipped a coin, and it told me to leave.
I packed my stuff and left.
With tears in my eyes I never felt so
Free.
So, I was in an extremely toxic relationship. Luckily I decided to leave. To everyone that has ever felt anything like this with their significant other, Please leave. You dont have to feel useless anymore.
Perhaps you are at peace,
or filled with wonder
and curiosity.

Perhaps your eyes burn,
seeing a world that is unclear
and slow.

Perhaps you imagine your sister,
calling your name so that you can return
to the carefree day above.

Perhaps you want to stay,
unmoving, heavy, gently sinking, and
wondering if anyone will notice.

Regardless,
you lift your body back up,
breaking the seal between
awareness and isolation.

Water that had weighed you down
is now humbled to mere drops,
stripped away by the cold air.

There is a sound to this feeling,
this return to clarity,
and you hear the transition
from nothing to everything.

It's the sound of the water,
surrounding your ears,
being replaced by air.

It's the sound of the hazy dream,
being swept away
by the reality of a sunny morning.

It's the sound of you, habibi,
whispering
bamoot feeki

It's the sound of being brought back to life.
Chaos devours me;
let's small talk and pretend that
everything's fine.
Jumping up
screaming
your fingernails tear
the wallpaper that was never there
walls
crumbling down
where are you now?
*You're pyschotic
Unfiltered thoughts filtered into words
I hate
That you left me
Drowning
In your lies

I hate
That you don't care
I was always
By your side

I hate
That my bestfriend
Turned into
A monster

I hate
That we don't talk
Any longer

I hate
Myself
For letting you go

I hate
You
For making me hate
All the things
I used to love
As she found him
She lost herself
Everything given
Was also taken

All these years
Devoted to nothing
Wasted on promises
Drenched in lies

When he leaves
As he often does
What does she have
Without him

She is connected
By words
And ideas
And *******

Attached
With thoughts
And strings
Leading nowhere

Forfeiting happiness
To feel alive
For one single night
As he feels success

Devoting her life
To someone sick
And twisted
Who doesn’t give a ****

She can only help herself
And find herself
Rid herself
Of this unfair lifestyle
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