I saw a flower
wilting beautifully
in a bed of
uncertainty
and I wondered if it
was afraid to face the sun
because it perhaps forgot
sunscreen
and in its attempts
at self preservation
it starved itself of what
it needed
--the sunshine.

Depression is not when I attend a funeral,
And the dead have been prettied,
and the coffins have been chosen.
It is not the sorrow I feel..

Depression is not when I fail a test,
Nor is it when I dishonor my family,
Or when I make a fool out of myself that day.

Depression is when I laugh heartily with family,
And chatter fills the air, it's a grand time!
But hell.. Is it hard to breath.

Depression is when I am alone and at peace,
And the clock ticks and the ink drips,
And suddenly I am suffocating in my thoughts.
Like a deep sea of worry, stress and negativity.

Depression is when my body is stone,
And every move feels like I'm dragging tons.
And so, I shed black tears.

It is when my thoughts are in blots.
It is when I am inky.

~ M.M

I let you have your way with me
and in the moment of such reckless abandon
I was turned on by my own disgust
knowing that it wasn’t for my greater good
And how mourning and morning would come in tandem

But putting my hands above my head
and feeling you press down on either side of my hips
while fighting the urge to run
I wanted you to make me yours
dark though this way it would come

I licked my lips unconsciously
biting down as you opened me up
while I bargained with myself
for no one lies to us sweeter than
we do to ourselves

Then just before I allowed myself
to be devoured, to be consumed by the fire
pouring from your wet sweet flush
I caught my reflection in the mirror

Afraid of what I would become
should I allow the desecration
I flipped you on your back
Held your head in both my hands
Kissed you on the forehead
Laced my soul up from the floor
While walking slowly from the room
at last, I was finally free

If you have something to say,
say it with conviction
believe in the words coming
from your mouth
because once they're out
they don't go back in
and no mouth to mouth
will resuscitate
a bridge that's in flames
and as long as you
meant every last word
every last volley
shot over the walls
built from years of
friendship
then no blame can be sent
your way
but do not be alarmed
when they come back around,
a little crispy around the edges
all shrieking like demons
faces black and sooty
and eyes red from the smoke
that rose from the fires
that only tears could put out
and they've got a hot coal
in their hand that they
don't feel and they
want to see you burn.

All that makes our demons
scary is who they're
throwing fire at.