LOOK

I am SORRY that I am the way I am

I'm sorry that I start to panic when someone touches me
especially a guy
even though if its in a friendly way
I just can't help to flinch
I always think about the people that hurt me in the past

I am sorry that I constantly break down
I cant control my mind for consuming my emotions
my mind is always at war with my heart
I cant help to get flash backs of the past of what they did to me

Im sorry for hiding my feelings
I get nervous to tell you because Im scared of upsetting you
I had people that I upset when I always told them how I felt
I'm also not an open book
I even feel vulnerable just someone looking at the content of the book

I am sorry that I always ask for reassurance
Im just trying to get it memorized in my head so I can believe you
I want to make sure your being honest
your answers dont change
and you mean it
People drilled bad things into my head so I cant help it

I am sorry for constantly apologizing
I always think its my fault
I grew up people putting the blame on me
sometimes I can't tell if its my fault or not

LOOk
I
I ..am
sorry that I am me

My dear love,
Don't' cry,
Everything I gave you, can never be taken away.

Hush now,
Be happy,
Our Souls touched,

An impossibility that only fate would know,
That two hearts needed to meet and lift each other up,
After falling so far.

The things I gave you will remain with you forever,
They will never be retaken,
My love will be with you forever.

I only wish I could give you more of my heart,
To carry with you after I'm gone,
Stay strong my princess.

And when we're apart,
I will hold tight,
The treasure of our last kiss goodbye.


Copyright © 2017 Ronald J Chapman All Rights Reserved.

No one has ever held me the way words do*.