The sunlight flickers in and out
Like a game of peek-a-boo
As the fan blows the curtains.

I lay flat on my back as still as I can
As I watch the world spin
With my eyes locked on the ceiling
Hoping that if I don't blink
Or move or swallow
That it'll somehow keep me grounded.

Today my heart decided to weight down in my chest to keep me grounded in reality. Reality that I love and I hate just as I love and hate myself for reasons only understood if you walked where I walked.

The sun stretched her rays across my face and somehow it reminded me of her, the subtle glow she had at times when everything just felt right. She was a sunset waterfall on a clear summer evening.

God, the thoughts in my head that are stuck like a spin cycle. I fall asleep loving her, wake up missing her, and live every day without her. That thing I mentioned earlier, reality, says she's gone but my heart still says no.

So let me write about everything inside that makes me feel so hollow. She was everything I invested in but could not impress so instead she impressed on me that she wasn't the one for me like she knew better. Maybe darling, we both are wrong.

I sold my soul to poetry
And never looked back
But now every relationship
Is a writing prompt
Every trauma, a metaphor

You asked me
if there ever was a moment
when I wanted to leave you,
and truthfully,
yes,
there was.

But not a day has passed
that you didn't cross my mind.

People say that in this world
we are all just trying to find
true love,
one of a kind,
and all it takes
is just one glance,
but I believe it's much more
than a lucky chance-

countless moments...

each one a memory
frozen in time

all these moments,
like a mosaic
(too many to count)

in this enormous amount
all I see
is the big picture
and it is the most beautiful artwork
I have ever seen.

If I got used to you

Would I take you for granted too?